Cinematical

Right after Metallica recorded the Black Album they wrote the theme song for the Kingdom of Heaven trailer. It is an unsubstantiated rumor that Guns 'n Roses sang backup vocals. I can't make heads or tails of this film. The HD trailer is pretty, there's lots of choreographed fireball throwing and more rosaries than you can shake a puff of white pope smoke at, but all I could officially glean was that it'll look great on a flat screen television when it comes out on DVD. Orlando Bloom, Eva Green, and Liam Neeson star in a biblical epic with many flames, David and Goliath-esque battle sequences, and proselytizing before crosses. Amen.

Meanwhile, Fantastic Four incorporates operatic theme music with significantly less grace.
The upside: Julian McMahon of Nip/Tuck plays the bad guy—he's Christian Troy in a silvery mask. It looks like it could be a darker film than X-Men, possibly even better, but the digital effects are akin to a poorly constructed Marvel flip-book. This is one of the downfalls of HD—visual deficiencies are magnified exponentially. Also, rock boy appears to be made of Playdoh. Jessica Alba, on the other hand, works the invisibility damn well.

Ahhh. Sweet Serenity. Joss Whedon brings the cancelled-by-Fox Firefly to the big screen. Some players from past projects tag along, including Jasmine (Gina Torres) from Season 4 of Angel. It all looks great, although Nathan Fillion's country-boy accent sounds forced, probably because he's originally from Canada. The special effects are terrific and there will be no halleluiah choruses on this soundtrack, thank you. What I'm most looking forward to are the Joss Whedonisms. We get only a small sampling from the trailer, as our heroes rocket into battle:

Hero A: "This is gonna get pretty interesting."
Hero B: "Define interesting."
Hero A: "Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die?"

It's as if Buffy and Angel never left. Sigh.