Killer Blog from CyberSpace: May

Good eeevening. Welcome to the Killer Blog from Cyberspace, a new feature here at Cinematical where we will briefly discuss and review some of our favorite (and not-so favorite) B-movie horror. Look for it here every Thursday night after midnight, if you dare. Muahahaa!

Sometimes a B-flick hits you within the first few minutes with something that sets you up for the rest of the movie. You sit with your mouth hanging open for a few minutes thinking, "'the hell happened there?!" May is one of those movies.

 
I'm not sure I'd fully classify May as a B-movie, but I'll do it anyway. Angela Bettis stars as the title character May, a majorly troubled girl with a lazy eye, who seems to attract only the very few people who think they're just as weird as she is. Since she can't seem to keep the people she wants around, she decides to make a new friend of her own. Literally.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the first scene of May, you might be inclined to turn in for the night or find something else to watch. But since the first scene is a very brief gory flashback, you sit wondering how things will lead us there in the end. There isn't even a tantalizing boobie scene to sit through. Don't be tantalized by descriptions of this movie that care to mention the lesbian scenes - the kissing scene is still no Gellar/Blair.

The one saving grace for the bulk of the film is that very, very creepy doll May's mother gives her in the early background scenes. I'm serious, this doll is freaky enough to give you night terrors and would not at all be out of place alongside Blade and Jester in Puppet Master. If nothing else, you will remember this film with friends years later saying, "Dude, remember that freaky-ass doll in May? That...that...doll."

Maybe I lost some symbolism in there somewhere (yeah, I do that a lot with B-movies), but somehow the doll's story got lost on me. May uses this doll as an outlet for her warped personality. As she talks to it, it seems to have some strange powers as it slowly cracks the glass of its own case. Then some blind kids accidentally destroy it. The doll's story: The end. Huh? I thought it had powers and shit!

We get into some good stuff within the final short scenes of the movie where, following her mother's sound advice to "make a friend," decides to go body part shopping on Halloween. It's so convenient to have a quasi-holiday where you can walk around in a blood soaked dress lugging a cooler full of body parts around, unphasing people you pass. A nice, artsy touch was the use of knitting needles as weapons, with a long shot of blood mixed with spilled milk. Finally we reach the point of the first scene of the movie and one great last scene that makes up for the early lull.

I will say that Ms. Bettis does an excellent job portraying a mentally disturbed mid-20's girl who likes to keep her dead cat smelling fresh with Lysol before packing it away in the freezer all safe and cozy. Anna Faris plays May's co-worker and sometimes sex toy, who you may have seen in one of the Scary Movie films, and Jeremy Sisto of Six Feet Under as May's boyfriend-like fling. All in all, good acting all around. Yawn.

Terror level [highest=10]: 4 (that...doll)
Death toll: 5 (+ 1 cat)
Quote of the flick: "If you can't find friends, make one."