Killer Blog from CyberSpace: She Creature

There are only a few creatures, both real and legendary, that I'd say are quite a stretch to make scary. A few off the top of my head: unicorns, dolphins, butterflies and mermaids. It seems Sebastian Gutierrez (Gothika) didn't agree with me on that last item when he rewrote She Creature for HBO.


Alright, admittedly mermaids are pretty freaky creatures. Usually there's a gorgeous, topless upper-half that makes sailors weep and steer their ships into craggy rocks, completely ignoring their scaly fish tail where legs should be. Maybe it was the siren song, or perhaps the many years at sea without a woman in sight that turned sailors crazy. Or maybe they just weren't leg men.

She Creature (or, more accurately, Mermaid Chronicles Part 1: She Creature) is part of HBO's Creature Features series where they aim to remake films in the same B-movie style as the late Samuel Z. Arkoff's classics from the 50's, but with better acting and special effects. Arkoff is known for oldies such as Teenage Caveman, Day the World Ended and Earth vs. The Spider, all of which are now remade as part of the new Creature Features series. Mr. Arkoff served as executive producer for the series until his death in 2001, so the future of Creature Features remains unclear.

Set in 1905, She Creature features a scheming Irish carnivale operator named Angus who happens upon a crazy old sea captain at his staged zombie/mermaid show. The old man invites him to his mansion where, wouldn't you know it, he owns a real mermaid who lives in a giant glass tank on wheels. Why he showed this creature to a money hungry carnie and not think he'd want it in his show is anyone's guess. When the old man refuses Angus's offer, one fright-induced heart attack later and mermaid, tank and carnies set sail on a ship bound for the U.S.A., sans crazy sailor.

Aboard the ship, there's a definite Dracula vibe to the loneliness of being at sea with a seemingly innocent creature shackled to the inside of a steel tank behind a locked door. Once the mermaid escapes and takes her first victim as a quick meal, the crew finally realizes that, holy crap, they're in the middle of the Atlantic with a carnivorous, fish-tailed bitch from hell. And watch out when the full moon shows in the sky.

A few cast members stand out from the others as familiar, most likely choosing to be featured due to HBO's excellent track record and not from the lack of money. You may recognize Rufus Sewell (Dark City) as Angus, Carla Gugino (Karen Sisco) as Lily and Gil Bellows (Ally McBeal, The Agency) as the drunken deckhand, Miles. The acting gives this flick less of a B-movie feel that it would had it been lower budget with lesser-knowns in the starring roles.

As this is what seems to be dubbed as part one of a "chronicles" series of mermaid horror, it'll be interesting to see if someone actually finds this a worthwile series to continue. The ending spells out "sequel possibility" loud and clear, but - and I'm going out on a limb here - maybe one killer mermaid story is enough for everyone? The fear of a sequel is quote possibly scarier than the movie itself.

There are very few frights in She Creature to even bother mentioning, and there's very little gore to speak of other than a couple of very short dream sequences Lily has. The metamorphized mermaid monster has little scare factor to it at all, and the feeding of the mer-people sequence toward the end of the film is almost laughable but hey, this is supposed to be remade B-horror; add a dash of gratuitous nudity and that's OK with me.

Terror level [highest=10]: 2
Death toll: At least 14
Quote of the flick: "That must...hurt."