Katie Holmes' silent birth
Filed under: RumorMonger, Celebrities and Controversy, Newsstand, Tom Cruise
My mother used drugs. My sister, also, used drugs. My mother did it three times, and my sister did it twice, but I forgive them both because, well, they were squeezing large fleshy objects called "babies" out of their bodies at the time. Apparently this will not be the case with Katie Holmes and her upcoming release, The Spawn of Tom. Scientology, it seems, does not allow drugs to be used during child birth. New York Daily News quotes this line from L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics: "Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go."
Sure, whatever. Listen, Tom joined the Church of Scientology in the mid-1980s, and his career soon began to skyrocket with films like Top Gun, The Color of Money, and Rain Man. He obviously knows something we don't. Considering that Katie Holmes has been in some reputable movies but no huge blockbusters, it would probably be in her best interest to just take the pain as the child gnaws through her ribcage and explodes from her torso where seven armed guards will be ready to coerce the sub-creature into an iron cage with a slab of meat. If some mediocre sci-fi writer's inane pseudo-religion requires it, you really have no choice.










Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
11-11-2005 @ 6:21AM
Jennifer said...
Hey you who finished law school- you are an arrogant SOB- ( I used my caps lock for that one). Katie and Tom are having a great time, which is the point of life- not what religion you study. Each religion was made up by someone at some point in time so it is all pointless! At least they are in love and sharing great memories together!
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11-11-2005 @ 8:58PM
Finished.Law.School said...
Hey Jennifer, you are a nutter. You are likely obese, alone, confused, uneducated and unhappy as well. And Katie is not having a great time, she has been brainwashed and is completely ignorant as to any sort of time her dumbass is having.
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11-16-2005 @ 9:33PM
chris said...
Tom Cruise is a flipping nut he has my prayers.
Run Katie run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats all I can say right now.
Prayers is what those people need.
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11-21-2005 @ 9:21PM
Mellissa Walters said...
I am really happy for Tom and Katie! Everyone makes mistakes in life and I wish people had better things to do in life than talk trash about every detail in their life. I am glad Katie is trying childbirth without pain medication but, let me tell you after three kids and one totally natural. I thought the natural childbirth had better recovery. Now without screming or noise of any kind GOOD LUCK! I really hope you can do everything you want. To HELL with everyone else. I hope you keep your spirits up after the baby because that one takes patients.
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11-22-2005 @ 8:44AM
Finished.Law.School said...
People like Mellissa Walters prove my point majestically. The crazy ones really come out for Cruise...
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11-24-2005 @ 9:21AM
Greg said...
This is really sad.
A bunch of people who HATE Scientology (and yet know nothing about it) are posting TRASH here without any connection with reality.
Hubbard never stated any such thing, Maria. This was a claim by a writer which was debunked several times, even in courts of law. The three supposed "witnesses" to this comment each wrote a statement saying that they remember no such comment. (That comment was actually made by *Orson Welles*, some twenty years before Hubbard and Scientology made the scene.)
Jellodine:
Feel free to mock. But realize that mocking without any clue of what the people you mock stand for, or believe in, makes you a schmuck.
Maria, you say Scientology is not a religion. Sorry, the United States Supreme Court disagrees with you. So do the Vatican, the Supreme Court of Sweeden, South Africa, Australia and several other nations.
In terms of "Scientology does not allow drugs to be used in childbirth": my wife sure as heck had an epidural during the birth of our child.
Tabloids and blogs are not solid research. Flamers on the Net are not authorities. Get a grip people.
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11-24-2005 @ 9:40AM
Greg said...
This is really sad.
A bunch of people who HATE Scientology (and yet know nothing about it) are posting TRASH here without any connection with reality.
Hubbard never stated any such thing, Maria. This was a claim by a writer which was debunked several times, even in courts of law. The three supposed "witnesses" to this comment each wrote a statement saying that they remember no such comment. (That comment was actually made by *Orson Welles*, some twenty years before Hubbard and Scientology made the scene.)
Jellodine:
Feel free to mock. But realize that mocking without any clue of what the people you mock stand for, or believe in, makes you a schmuck.
Maria, you say Scientology is not a religion. Sorry, the United States Supreme Court disagrees with you. So do the Vatican, the Supreme Court of Sweeden, South Africa, Australia and several other nations.
In terms of "Scientology does not allow drugs to be used in childbirth": my wife sure as heck had an epidural during the birth of our child. And she spoke, yelled, said and did whatever the heck she felt like. (We're both Scientologists.)
Tabloids and blogs are not solid research. Flamers on the Net are not authorities. Get a grip people.
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11-24-2005 @ 10:02AM
Greg said...
To Agnes:
Yes, Sigmund Freud might have been a Scientist - but what you don't seem to know is that Psychiatry is not based on Freud's work at all - it's based on Wundt, Singer and Pavlov, etc.
Your claims about Hubbard are totally made up with no basis in fact. Mr. Hubbard was in a Navy hospital recovering from wounds (eyes, leg, hip) he got during active service during World War II.
Since when do you pay religion? Since always. Rent costs money, and electricity costs money. Catholics, Jews and Mormons all pay tithes.
Scientology is considered a bonafide world religion in Australia, South Africa, Sweden, and several other nations. Get your facts straight.
Scientology is not forbidden anywhere in the world. We have seven large centers in Germany, including Berlin, Frankfurt and others. (Go to www.scientology.org and do a seach for locations.) There are over 10,000 active Scientologists in Berlin alone.
In terms of Kabbalah, start by learning how to spell it.
Stop insulting others on this thread. Stop calling other people stupid, when it is you who obviously don't know what the hell you're talking about.
Scientology does not demand you only be with people that believe as you do. You made that up too.
And you say "the baby has no memory until her 6, 7 years." - what the hell is that crap??? I have a four year old, and he sure as hell has memory.
Your post is just full of nutty, misinformed, bigoted stuff.
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11-24-2005 @ 10:04AM
Greg said...
To Nikki:
Way to go, a*hole. I've never seen a post wishing a couple a miscarriage before. I cannot believe your malice.
My wife had a miscarriage earlier this year, she is still crushed about it and we're having a very hard time dealing with it. How dare you be so heartless.
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10-06-2005 @ 7:23PM
Melanie said...
Poor girl... I sure hope she comes through this okay. (Especially if she suffers from PPD). Hey, what ever happened to thier vow not to have sex before marriage? I guess that one went right out the window.
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10-07-2005 @ 4:00PM
Nathaniel said...
Batman Begins wasn't a blockbuster?
Wasn't it one of the biggest, and one of the best reviewed movies of the year?
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10-06-2005 @ 8:18PM
ExBf said...
I just feel bad for the poor kid; not only will he have to go to those lousy Scientology schools (where the kids are generally 2-3 years behind the regular system), but you just know he's gonna get some fruity name to carry along with him....
Anybody taking bets? My money's on 'Freewind Cruise'
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10-07-2005 @ 1:44AM
Finished.Law.School said...
The kid's first name is going to be Dianetics.
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10-07-2005 @ 7:52AM
mick du russel said...
In some areas of the world, Christian Scientists have been known to eat their young.
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10-07-2005 @ 8:54AM
Galley said...
Whoa, I had completely forgotten about the fact that she was supposedly still a virgin.
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10-07-2005 @ 1:26PM
JT said...
Holy shit! Immaculate conception...our savior will be born soon! Go tell it on the mountain!
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10-07-2005 @ 10:14AM
Jellodyne said...
> "she was supposedly still a virgin."
Tom was supposedly something as well.
> "He obviously knows something we don't."
Yeah. Tom Cruise got where he is because of what's on the inside. It's Stephen Hawking who has been coasting on his looks.
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10-07-2005 @ 12:33PM
Finished.Law.School said...
Cruise and Holmes did not have intercourse, she was artificially inseminated. It is the Scientologist way as long as no psychologists are involved...
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10-07-2005 @ 6:40PM
Maria Schivago said...
It's L. RON HUBBARD'S FROZEN SPERM THAT WAS INJECTED INTO POOR, INNOCENT, KATIE! GOOD LUCK KATIE! GET OUT WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE!
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10-07-2005 @ 11:56AM
Nina said...
Yes, well there is an ongoing debate about exactly when the body thetans begin to contaminate the souls of the unborn. Maybe they can schedule a "session" for the fetus at the baby shower as a gift (I hear it's expensive).
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