Michael Jackson Gets 'Lost'

Right out of the "What The Hell Did I Just Watch?" file is Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls, a hit-or-mostly miss Airplane! style spoof starring Eric Roberts as the captain of a downed airliner full of beauty pageant contestants. The curious thing -- rather, one of the many curious things in this bizarro head-scratcher --  is putting a gaggle of gorgeous gals like almost-Miss Universe Joyce Giraud and Playboy's 50th Anniversary Playmate Colleen Shannon in bikinis and then advertising it as "PG rated fun". OK, maybe my idea of PG-rated fun involves Curly jonesing for cheese, wise-cracking robots and a monkey in silly clothes that dances. Convenient segue: dancing, silly clothes-wearing Bubbles-lover Michael Jackson, a friend of director Bryan Michael Stoller, makes an appearance as "Agent M.J." As Lewis Carroll wrote, "Curiouser and curiouser..."

Stranger still is Film Threat's 3-star review of the movie, which may or may not have been written at gunpoint, on a dare or on Ecstacy. A Zucker brother Stoller is not, despite his best efforts. Stale parodies and porno-grade performances (which you can watch actual porn for) are the only real high points of this surreal oddity, which also stars Evan "Joe Not-Really-A-Millonaire (Or Skilled At Much Of Anything)" Marriott, Charlie Schlatter and the formerly funny Stuart Pankin.

Visit the official Miss Cast Away website for details on purchasing the just-released DVD.