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Jessica Simpson hires Aniston's divorce attorney

Jessica SimpsonTo be honest, we really care about as much about Jessica Simpson's divorce attorney as we do about who won the Miss World pageant (yeah, it was Miss Iceland, whoopee!), but hey, it's a slow news day.

So, Simpson has apparently hired the same high-powered (read: evil and lacking all vestiges of morality) divorce lawyer who repped Jennifer Aniston in her split from Brad Pitt, Robert Kaufman, to represent her in severing her marriage to Nick Lachey. Ha, ha - we're sure you are really a nice person (at least as nice as any attorney can be) so please don't sue us, Mr. Kaufman!

 

Moving on from who's repping whom in what we bet is going to turn into a really nasty divorce behind-the-scenes, let's think about something cheerier instead, like who Simpson and Lachey should hook up with once their divorce is final. My suggestions for Lachey: Britney Spears (hey, she's bound to dump that loser Federline eventually, right?), newly split Christina Applegate (wouldn't they be so cute together?), Halle Berry (she could really use a nice guy) or, perhaps even Mariah Carey (great PR for both of them, she's on a comeback path, and they could record a duet!).

For Simpson, might we suggest Owen Wilson (we don't like him all that much, but hey, lots of girls seem to think he's cute), Kid Rock, or, my favorite pick, Eminem. Sure, he's supposedly reconciling with his on-again-off-again wife, but how long is that going to last, really? He'll be free by the the time the ink is dry on Simpson's divorce papers. Wouldn't you love to see a reality show featuring the first year of a Jessica Simpson-Eminem union?  How long do you think it would take before Eminem would lose it and yell "Damn, b****! Shut the f*** up!" I'd give him two months, tops.

Who do you think would be the best matches for the unfortunate ex-couple?

 

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