Four, that's right, FOUR new Jean-Claude Van Damme movies

Because the world apparently hasn't seen enough of Jean-Claude Van Damme, or perhaps because Hollywood just loves to reward patent mediocrity, beat-em-up guy Jean-Claude Van Damme has not one, not two, but four movies on the boards, two in 2006, and two in 2007.

First up is Second in Command, in which Jean-Claude plays an official appointed, well, second-in-command to the US Ambassador to a tumultuous Eastern European country. There's an attempted coup, the Ambassador is killed, and guess who has to get all bad-ass and save the day? Yup, Jean-Claude. Sounds thrilling, yes?

Next up to bat is The Hard Corps, helmed by frequent Jean-Claude offender Sheldon Lettich, who previously brought us such Jean-Claude gems as Lionheart, Double Impact, and The Order (all also co-written by Jean-Claude). In The Hard Corps, Jean-Claude will play a former combat vet, fresh off fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, who decides to take a break from being a military bad-ass to be a bodyguard to a former Heavyweight Boxing champion, to protect the champ and his family from -- get this -- a Rap Music Mogul. Nevermind the inevitable questions about why a heavyweight boxing champ would need a bodyguard. And I guess the Evil Rap Music Mogul is going to replace Evil <insert Middle Eastern nation> Terrorist as the next legion of bad guys whose asses must be kicked by Jean-Claude, Steven Seagal and Bruce Willis.

The upcoming Jean-Claude film with the most potential to not completely suck is a French film, Asterix and the Olympics. Based on the very popular French comic series, Asterix and the Olympics is the third Asterix live action film (there are seven animated Asterix films with an eighth in production). While this film might not be a huge hit in America, it's likely to do well for Jean-Claude in Europe, his home turf, where the Asterix comics are very  well-known. Also, the film is in French, which Van Damme, being Belgian, can perhaps actually speak while acting. Jean-Claude will play the appropriately named role of Gluteus Maximus in the film.

Also in 2007, Jean-Claude will bring his fans Kumite (also directed and written by the actor), an "action-packed story of courage, friendship and redemption, set against the backdrop of the most brutal and elite fighting tournament in the world, The Kumite". Jean-Claude's character in the film returns to defend his title after years of alcoholism and despair, in a role that is probably more than a little autobiographical -- Jean-Claude himself dealt with some serious personal crises before embarking on a career comeback in 1999. 

All you Jean-Claude fans out there can rejoice; you're gonna get a serious fix of your favorite action star. And, Asterix fans -- tell us, are you excited about Jean-Claude having a role in the newest Asterix film?