Never Enough Mutants

Perhaps it's mutants, not penguins, that are going to be the Next Big Thing in Hollywood: sticking its toe into the ever-present X-Men mutant frenzy is The Mutant Chronicles which, in a refreshingly retro bit of news, is based on what The Hollywood Reporter calls "a board game." (In reality, it's an RPG, so the label of "board game" seems sort of insulting, like comparing Dungeons and Dragons to Candyland. But I digress.)

The movie is set in the 23rd century, during a time in which earth's natural resources have been "pillaged" by corporations, and "a marauding army of NecroMutants wages a battle against humans for the little that remains." Thomas Jane will play Major Mitch Hunter, the heroic leaders of the human (and a Marine to boot - USA! USA!) who takes the lead in the fight against both those damn mutants and The Man. In the 23rd century, The Man is represented by a guy named Constantine - played by John Malkovich, so expect lots of yelling -  who "heads a United Nations-style council of four corporation-run countries" that is responsible for the grim state of the world. When the mutants rise up, Constantine and his crew would rather just destroy the earth (saving the important humans, of course) than deal with fighting off the invasion. You know, sort of like moving instead of cleaning up after a really wild party. I'm just guessing here, but I think Jane is going to win and save us all.

Mutant Chronicles is scheduled to start filming in London this June.