Cinematical Seven: Actresses Who Should NOT Play Wonder Woman

by Erik Davis Apr 2nd 2006 // 6:02PM

Filed under: Fandom, DIY/Filmmaking, Cinematical Seven, Joss Whedon, Comic/Superhero/Geek, Remakes and Sequels

Here's what we know right now: Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) is re-visiting the character of Wonder Woman and bringing an updated version to the big screen. However, since the film was announced, a slew of names have come and gone, leaving us with absolutely no idea who will finally land the coveted role.

Over the last few weeks, we've reported on all of the Wonder Woman rumors, debated who should and shouldn't play the sexy, kick-ass superhero, while listening to all of you comment and tell us your opinion. Well, now it's time to get serious. Since Whedon can't seem to decide who he wants for the role, we're going to help narrow down the selection for him. It's time we take a stand people! This is Wonder Woman we're talking about - let's attempt to make it so Joss doesn't screw this up.

The following is a list of seven actresses who should definitely not be playing Wonder Woman. I feel, as a community, if we can keep adding to this list, then eventually it will be narrowed down enough to a point where we will all agree on the perfect name. The perfect female. The perfect Wonder Woman.

  • Britney Spears - Since we're not casting Blunder Woman, I shouldn't have to try too hard to convince you why Britney would not make a good Wonder Woman.  First off, having just had a baby and rumored to be pregnant yet again, physically I'm quite sure Spears couldn't cut it. Secondly, Joss Whedon would instantly lose his entire fan base, as well as any further posts from me on Cinematical. And last, but certainly not least, the girl can't act.
  • Katie Holmes - While Katie does have the whole cute brunette thing going on, do you actually believe Master Tom would let her take this kind of role? And even if he did let her become Wonder Woman, there's no way he would grant her permission to wear the classic costume. Face it, Katie's pretty smile and adorable voice was perfect for Dawson's Creek, however she couldn't even handle a dramatic moment with Dawson without crying - can you imagine her taking on Wonder Woman? That's the point, we don't want to imagine it. Next!
  • Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - Last time I checked, Wonder Woman was not an anorexic billionaire. While there's definitely room to fit the character into their merchandising empire, these girls are just way too delicate for the role. I mean, I guess if one of them accidentally breaks in half during shooting, then at least we have a back up. Right?
  • Sharon Stone - Sorry Sharon, there are no gratuitous sex scenes for woman over 40 to be found in this superhero flick. While the audience would probably love to see Wonder Woman get down with her bad self, something tells me there's just too much fake, plastic evil behind Stone's... eyes.
  • RuPaul - It's probably best that, for the role of Wonder Woman, Joss chooses someone who didn't disappear from the spotlight ten years ago. Not only that, but a 6-foot something drag queen may not do so well at the box office.
  • Dame Judi Dench - Well, if anyone would walk away from the role of Wonder Woman with an Academy Award nomination, it would be Dame Judi. It really doesn't matter what the woman is in, anything she touches seems to turn to award statue. However, the age and hottie factor will definitely pose a problem...unless Joss is gearing his film towards people above and beyond their fifties.
  • Hugh Jackman - Yeah, I know he's not an actress, but at this point, he's proved himself worthy of playing a comic book superhero. I say we let Hugh grow his hair out again, slap some make-up on him and let him have fun with it. Hey, what if we had him dress as Wolverine and team up with Wonder Woman? Seeing as folks are looking to milk that character as much as they can, it may not be such a bad idea. No?

Is there anyone else who belongs on this list? Speak up now or forever hold back those awful comments once a decision has been made.

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Tags: ashley olsen, britney spears, cinematical, film, hugh jackman, joss whedon, katie holmes, mary kate olsen, movies, rupaul, sharon stone, wonder woman, WonderWoman

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