Cinematical

Summer movie predictions are everywhere. Some are contradictory, some don't make sense, some make me want to limit my summer movie viewing to arthouse theaters. I decided to turn to my most reliable source for the scoop on the best summer blockbusters: my 23-year-old fanboy brother Stephen. He may not have accurately predicted many Oscar winners, but he has a good eye for picking the best  summer movies. So I called him up and after we discussed our recent weird and obscure DVD viewings (me: My Bodyguard; him: 7 Faces of Dr. Lao), I asked him some questions about his thoughts on big goofy summertime movie releases.

Which films are you most looking forward to seeing this summer?

• A Scanner Darkly -- "I'm not too wild about Keanu Reeves playing another Matrix-esque role, but Robert Downey, Jr. and Woody Harrelson could entertain me playing with a cardboard box."

• Nacho Libre -- "As much as I feel like Jared Hess (Napoleon Dynamite's director) has sophomore slump written all over him, I love the whole luchador thing. And Jack Black, well, you gotta love him."
• Snakes on a Plane -- "It looks like Oscar-worthy material. Because of the title, maybe? You think? It looks like Citizen Kane on a plane, that's why."
• Clerks II -- "Oh, I want to see this. I want to see if I can let Kevin Smith live after Jersey Girl. He needs to clear his name so he can walk into a comic-book convention and not be pelted with rocks."
• Superman Returns -- "All I've got to say is: Kevin Spacey. Yeah, I know, Gene Hackman rules, but I hope Spacey will re-create the character of Lex Luthor and make it his own. On the other hand, I don't think anyone can perfect the lead role as well as Christopher Reeve did. He was so sincere! Kevin Spacey's portrayal of Lex Luthor would be worth the price of admission, even if David Caruso was playing Superman."
  

[Stephen also included Hard Candy on his list of summer films he wanted to see, since it hasn't yet played in Baton Rouge or even New Orleans. He says "the trailer is the best-made I've seen in years." Poor kid, I suspect he'll have to wait for DVD.]

Have you seen any summer movies so far that you've liked?

• Over the Hedge -- "It's awesome. I saw the Shrek movies, and I thought they were okay, but Over the Hedge ... William Shatner plays the possum, it's so funny. I'm going to see it again soon."

Which summer movies are you planning to avoid?

• Miami Vice -- "I can't imagine seeing a movie where I'd be thinking, "Where's Don Johnson? I need him now." And if I saw that movie, I'd be saying that."
• The Omen -- "You just can't beat Gregory Peck and his terror face. You can't re-create that. It's canon! They're not going to be able to recapture that Seventies creepy style, either."
  

What's the dumbest-looking summer movie you've heard about?

• Invincible --"That movie with Marky Mark, that football movie, I forget what it's called. It's got like, the most cliches in the world: Mark Wahlberg plays the down-on-his-luck, blue-collar worker, who becomes a football player. How many more sports movies is Disney going to produce like this? How many cliches can you put in one movie?"
• The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift -- "They should have called it Sick and Furious because that's how moviegoers will walk out of the theater feeling after they see this movie."
  

So it turns out that the 23-year-old loves Over the Hedge, and the big summer movie he wants to see most is Richard Linklater's low-budget film A Scanner Darkly. Summer movie madness is nothing if not unpredictable.