Eat My Shorts: Love, Sex and All That Other Stuff

Holy gosh, we made it to week two! First off, I want to thank all of you for embracing Eat My Shorts, welcoming this brand new Cinematical feature into your home and onto your computer with open arms. For those of you who missed last week's inaugural edition, Eat My Shorts is a new weekly feature dedicated entirely to short films. Did you know there were thousands of wonderfully entertaining shorts available online for free? Yes, it's true! And each week, I'm going to span the internet in search of a few fun films to bring back here and show you.

Oh, but you get to play too. See, there's only so much content I can cover in one week's time. Thus, I'm going to need your help in tracking down some of these hidden gems. Last week, a ton of you wrote in with tips and suggestions, a few of which I'm using today. So, thanks! You're awesome. I love you. Blah blah blah. But let's keep going. Should you come across a neat film that would be perfect for Eat My Shorts, feel free to send all tips, suggestions and comments (ie: "Mr. Davis, you're the greatest guy in the history of the human race!") to shorts@cinematical.com. Please use the email. That's why it's there. For comments related to this particular edition, well, there's a little comment button towards the bottom of each post. See it? Wave to it. Make it feel special. Trust me, it loves the attention.

After going all weird and experimental last week, I figured, for this edition, we would lighten things up a bit -- ya know, have a little fun. And what's more fun than love? And sex? And all that other stuff? The following short films all focus on the different phases of a relationship. Early, awkward beginning? Check. Horrific ending? Check. You, alone and with a copy of the Sears underwear catalog. Priceless. Let's go watch some shorts ...

This week we're going to begin, well, where relationships are usually born -- right before, during or after sex. Sure, there's a ton of pre-requisites: Dinner, drinks, movie, light kissing, etc ... but those are all part of the "interview process." Hey, this is not to say two people cannot have a healthy relationship without shaking it between the sheets. I'm sure it's possible. Just not on the planet Earth.

• Before he thanked us for not smoking, director Jason Reitman wrote and directed a little gem of a short film called Consent. These days, it seems there are so many rules and regulations to follow before engaging in a session of love making. Reitman takes that idea to a whole new level in this hilarious short sent in to us by Chris from Atom Films. Thanks dude! Check it out.
• Have you ever tried really hard to impress a girl by inviting her over and preparing dinner? Directed and, I assume, written by Cinematical reader Brendon Connelly, Aphrodisiac Casserole shows us exactly which ingredients to leave out of a romantic Valentine's Day evening between you and your loved one. Thank God this never happened to me. Oh wait, it did. Nevermind.

Wow, so you've made it past the "interview process" and successfully landed the job of boyfriend/girlfriend. Congratulations! However, now comes the hard part. It takes a whole lot of work to maintain a relationship. Soon you'll have your first fight. A trip to visit the family. Holidays. Presents. How much do I spend? Why didn't they call? You're trapped. Confused. Am I making the right decision? Marriage. Rings. Kids. HELP!

• Bittersweet Romance tells the tale of two lovers who decide to part ways. However, with a long, intense history between the two, can they somehow tap into the love they once shared and hold onto this relationship for just a little while longer? Produced by Utopian Productions, perhaps this short will help some of you with ideas on how to break up with your own significant other.
• Chuck Barr and His Penis: A Love Story (Potentially NSFW) is exactly what the title suggests: A love story between a man and his penis. This clever mockumentary was thrown together using "found footage" and tells the life story of Chuck Barr, a man who loved his penis just a little too much. Written and directed by Steven Barr, he originally created this short as a present for his Dad's 60th birthday. "Hey Pop, I remember you always saying how much you loved your penis. Well, I made a movie about it -- Happy Birthday!"

Okay, so you screwed everything up and are now left alone, ashamed, in denial and afraid of what the future has in store for you. While you may be feeling down and upset, there are plenty of ways to raise those spirits, if only temporary. The following short is geared more towards men, though I imagine women may get something out of it too.

• SPIF: A Stupid Public Information Film (NSFW) is a hilarious short cartoon that helps teach a boy (or a man) how to successfully, well, pleasure himself. Yeah, there's really no other way to describe it, except that it had me rolling. Directed by Alan Plenderleith, creator of the BBC kid's show Gordon the Garden Gnome, SPIF is one of those films that really doesn't need an introduction. Just go watch. And enjoy.

Once again folks, please send all tips, links and suggestions regarding Eat My Shorts to shorts@cinematical.com.