Critics to Uwe Boll: STFU Already
Filed under: Horror, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Movie Marketing
A few months back the inescapably terrible filmmaker known as Uwe Boll decided that he'd had enough of the bad reviews. But instead of channeling his frustrations into trying to make, y'know, a good movie for once in his life, Dr. Boll (yes, Dr.) decided that his only course of action was to ... challenge his detractors in the boxing ring. Let's translate this into schoolyard terms: You think my movies suck, and therefore I'll be waiting for you after school so that I can punch you a few times, thereby allowing myself to feel better for a little while instead of actually addressing the issue at hand, which is this: I really am an idiot.Yeah, this makes sense. The guy's so furious about reactions to his hilariously terrible ouevre that he's willing to humiliate himself to an even goofier degree. Apaprently it's not enough for Boll to enjoy his title as Today's Worst Filmmaker; he also seems intent on becoming The Planet's Most Insufferable Bully, too. And here's the best part:
He's finding no takers, boxing-wise. Aside from one stalwart 16-year-old, nobody's nibbling on Boll's boxing poll. Sounds to me like the arrogant crybaby has a little too much time on his hands. I'm willing to start a petition and pass around the collection plate: Let's get Uwe Boll enrolled at USC Film School. Hell, we can even turn it into a reality series at the same time! Uwe, call me!
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
8-05-2006 @ 5:26PM
Erzengel said...
Im 27 years old, 250lb and 6ft. Been practicing martial arts since 15. Ive done Karate Do, Tae Kwon Do, Shaolin Kung Fu, plus special courses in Street Defense and Greek Wrestling, and my father taught me Boxing since 5. As a bonus i was in a jazz dance group. Nowday i run a small Martial Arts Weapons Shop, combined with my work as graphic / web designer.
I also happen to ve an avid videogamer and moviefan. This creep has insulted us enough already.
Back me up, and i´ll be more than happy to make sure he wont make ANY more movies... EVER.
Thank you, have a nice day.
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8-05-2006 @ 5:32PM
Casey said...
Hello. I am 20 years old, 230lb, and have a martial arts background. I am an avid gamer and film goer, and I am sick as shit of seeing this guy butcher our favorite game franchises. I take him up on his offer, and I will face him in the ring, because even the notion that I can kick his ass riles me up.
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8-05-2006 @ 5:43PM
ihatemovies said...
The most fascinating thing about all this is that Boll keeps getting the money to make new movies! There are plenty of good, young filmmakers out there who would kill to get the kind of financing that Boll manages to get. Hell, they'd probably even be willing to make genre movies, too...
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8-05-2006 @ 6:30PM
JTA said...
I'm pretty sure the guys at somethingawful.com have taken the good doctor up on his challenge - http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=3883 and, according to the article, he has accepted.
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8-05-2006 @ 9:25PM
Finished.Law.School said...
Sending this asshole to USC Film School much less any other film school would be nothing more than a waste of time and resources.
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8-05-2006 @ 10:33PM
Erwin Michael Green said...
Send his sorry ass to the next auditions for "The Ultimate Fighter" and let him try and talk some smack over there.
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8-06-2006 @ 12:27AM
renee said...
I'd pay pay-per-view prices to see that moron take on #1 or#2. hell,there's your reality series!
Reply
8-06-2006 @ 2:07PM
Ivan Cockrum said...
Let's put Ebert in the ring with Boll. Now, I love Ebert and don't want to see any (more) harm come to him, but I can't help but imagine Boll's bemused reaction to finding himself in the ring with a doddering cancer recovery patient.
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8-07-2006 @ 7:43AM
James said...
I can't imagine sending him to USC, then he would not only blow but he'd think he was a hollywood player and come out making hogwash like half of hollywood already does...
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8-21-2006 @ 7:17PM
Eva said...
Hello, I am from Spain and I must tell you Uwe Boll will figth in my country in the "Malaga Film Festival Week" with a spanish detractor de first week of september.
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