Okay, so wayyy back in March, we reported on a rumor that Chuck Palahniuk's (Fight Club) novel Choke was being adapted for the big screen and, supposedly, heading into production with names like Susan Sarandon, Heath Ledger and Ryan Gosling in the picture. (Seeing as this is my favorite Palahniuk novel, this news made me happier than a sex addict at a porn convention.)

Well, guess what -- that never happened. However, I'm happy to say that, today, Dark Horizons tells us Universal Pictures has now acquired the film rights to Choke, tapping Paul Bernbaum (Hollywoodland) to write the script. Though there's no mention of the original rumor or the actors that surrounded it, I'm pumped to see more movement on the thing.

Choke revolves around a man who scams folks out of their money by pretending to choke in restaurants; he uses the money to keep his overbearing mother in a nursing home. At the same time, he visits sexaholic meetings to meet women. If the book sounds warped, well, it totally is. But, damn, it's so much fun too.