Uwe Boll Continues to Grow Progressively More Insane

Scary thing is, BloodRayne's reviews were so bad that I really REALLY want to see the film now.

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He's already got more movies in the IMDb.com Bottom 100 than any other director: http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom

Is he going for all 100?

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Actors have to eat? If they do their jobs as badly as Tara Reid did in Alone in the Dark, the only thing they should be compelled to do is coke themselves into nonexistence (considering Tara's behavior, we might not have to weight too terribly long). This way sustenance that would've been wasted on pond scum with silicon implants and no brain matter can provide nourishment for someone who actually deserves it.

As for Uwe Boll, I can safely say that Alone in the Dark by itself made me want to go out, have a cigarette, and then pay a Navy Seal who's off duty to snap my neck like a piece of raw spaghetti just so the sudden shutdown of my central nervous system would prevent my brain from actually processing what I had wasted 90 minutes of my life to see. I can safely say, though, that we have not seen the worst of Uwe's work. That day will come when he and Paul W.S. Anderson unite to make what will surely be the crappiest film mankind has ever been tormented with. If we're lucky, that day might never come. Who knows, maybe tomorrow a meteorite the size of a buick will fall from the sky and hit Paul Anderson with so much force he doesn't even leave a charred corpse in the smoldering crater that would ensue. Maybe Uwe will actually WATCH the crap that has robbed us all of our time, cringe in horror at the amount of torment he's put all of our brains through, and then he'd become a good director.

Oh, and before someone comes up with the "If you don't like him so much, don't watch his movies" line it only took one movie (Alone in the Dark) to change my thinking into what it is now. As for Paul, it was his inept handling of AvP that would allow me to take great pleasure in his suffering.

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Can we add "killing Kristanna Loken's career" to his list of crimes? If she keeps starring in his movies, she'll never star in a good movie ever again. Might end up drowning in his horridness. XD

Poster #2... I think that's his plan for world domination. To own all the bottom slots/spots is his goal, and given how his movies are, if he keeps making movies, he'll succeed. *shudder*

All it took was seeing House of the Dead for me to see that. I watched it with my family, and although I haven't played the games extensively, I know a bad movie when I see it. Once I saw Alone in teh Dark, I knew I couldn't watch another one of his movies. I usually will watch any movie from beginning to end if it seems like something I'd watch. I don't like giving up on a movie unless it's so horrid I can't stand it. And, AitD was so bad I couldn't stand watching it--made me want to get up and knock myself out with something until the movie was over. Tara Reid as a scientist?! No amount of imagination will ever enable me to envision that. XD

Like I said in a previous post, I really do hope he doesn't get his hands on a gaming series that has a loyal, rabid fanbase.

As for Paul W.S. Anderson... I was willing to cut him some slack on Resident Evil. I mean, I really wish he had stayed close to the games. Just don't toss in random elements, a new main character, and voila! the fans will eat it up, which is what he did. Both films were fun movies, but just not Resident Evil movies. His AvP movie though... I had so many hopes for that movie. I dreamt up little scenarios with Ripley and Ahnold, or imagined some fairly futuristic flick that would combine the elements that made both series great. It could have been freaking awesome. ANYTHING could have been better than how it turned out. At least the fight scenes between the predators and the aliens were cool.

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Hey wait, I just checked Uwe out on imdb. HE has another movie based on a video game coming out.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0400426/plotsummary


*sigh*
The madness will never end.

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Boll should commit suicide and film it. That will be the only film of his that people will want to which (not me though).

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