Cinematical's SmartGossip: Nursing the Gossip Hangover

After all that fuss about Britney Spears and her undergarment choices (or lack thereof) last week, plus the Danny DeVito thing and the Michael Richards thing and whatever other celebrity news I've managed to banish from my head, I feel as though I have a gossip hangover. My eyes glaze over when I read about Andy Dick getting offensive in his stand-up comedy routine and I cannot possibly be persuaded to care. Snoop Dogg's arraignment delayed? Yawn. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes throwing a big reception? Oh, lord, I need some aspirin, Alka-Seltzer, dry toast ...

I suspect I'm not the only one who feels that way right now; the celebrity news sites appear to be a bit thin on news this week, grabbing at straws about George Clooney, who always provides an opportunity for a charming photo and who never flashes anything inappropriate to the general public. Perhaps everyone needs a break from a little too much celebrity exposure. Or maybe we're all trying to get through the holiday season and can't raise much interest in movie stars on the town, filing for divorce, or desperately seeking attention. I can hand you this week's dish, but bear in mind that I'm writing it with a cold compress on my slightly green face, wondering what the best cure would be for a gossip hangover.

• Apparently Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn really did break up this time. Definitely. Not a rumor. Not secretly engaged. Not trying to build buzz for a DVD release. Have we heard the last of this?
• The Oscar buzz about Eddie Murphy (for Dreamgirls) was interrupted this week by the news that he and Melanie Brown (the former Scary Spice) are no longer together, and that he's denying he's the father of her unborn child. Brown, however, insists that there's no question of his paternity. Murphy has moved on to dating film producer Tracey Edmonds. And so pass the days of our lives.
• The wedding is off for actress Gina Lollobrigida ... and the media's to blame! Apparently all the coverage and questioning and media scrutiny drove away her non-celebrity fiance. She claims the press reported falsely that she "had relations with Ronald Reagan, Henry Kissinger, and Fidel Castro," three names that I never expected to write in a gossip column, much less in the same sentence.
• George Clooney's longtime pet, the pot-bellied pig Max, died this week. Defamer has an adorable photo of a younger Clooney with his pet. In other Clooney news, the actor says he would love to appear in a typical Bollywood film. After his recent black-and-white movie appearances, imagine Clooney in oversaturated color! Wow.
• Olivia Newton-John is suing Universal Movie Group on the claim that she hasn't been paid about $1 million worth of royalties from the soundtrack to Grease. I suspect she hasn't had a similar problem with Xanadu.
• The smart bloggers at Go Fug Yourself took a red pen to Lindsay Lohan's latest email missive, and show us a less-than-flattering photo of the actress. Meanwhile, Al Gore disputes Lohan's claim that he will "help her out."