Review: Eragon
Filed under: Action, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, New Releases, Theatrical Reviews, New in Theaters, 20th Century Fox, Family Films, Comic/Superhero/Geek
Here's a list of things I never again need to see in a movie:
- A wizened old mentor teaching a young pupil to let something "flow" through him.
- A scene in which someone rides the back of a dragon while whooping and cheering.
- A young hero rushing off to save his friends despite being warned that such actions spell d-o-o-m.
- An explanation from a henchman to a villain detailing why he came back empty-handed.
...basically, all 90-some minutes of Eragon represent a list of things I need never see again in a movie. Why? Because I've already seen them 1,332 times and there's very little chance that such redundant and tiresome cliches will ever be sufficiently polished to make them feel fresh again. Again, Eragon is 99 minutes of this paint-by-numbers, oft-regurgitated genre blather.
The plot is Lord of the Rings meets Stars Wars (with just a splash of Harry Potter), minus all the things that made those stories/movies so exciting, so memorable and so irresistably ripoff-able: We got a hunky young blonde kid who somehow gets involved in an ancient war between Dragon Riders and John Malkovich. Dragons, wizards and vaguely elven women are somehow involved, but by the time Eragon reaches the 30-minute mark, your brain will be back-tracking to the mid-'80s, which is when flicks like Dragonslayer, Krull and Willow were beating this particular sub-genre to death. (I actually like all three of those movies, but these sub-genres do work in cycles, don't they?)
So as our reward for adoring Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy so much, we are now to be subjected to, what, seven straight years of lame-ass Swords & Sorcery effluvium? Yikes. The problems with Eragon are myriad, omnipresent and obvious, but they absolutely start on the screenplay front. Based on a novel by child author Christopher Paolini, Eragon is a shameless mish-mash of every Hero Myth ever conceived. You'll probably spot eight or nine different pieces of uncredited source material as the garish smear of Eragon washes over you -- and keep in mind that these comments come from a guy who really loves the Dungeons & Dragons-style material.
The acting is vacant at best, flordily campy at worst. (As the sneering King Galbatorix, John Malkovich seems to think he's in a comedy, while newfound woodblock Edward Speleers makes one yearn for the acting prowess of a young Mark Hamill.) The plodding parade of plot points wanders briefly through each scene, although there's no sort of drive to the movie at all. It's sort of like when you finish a massive role-playing game and then you're given the option of watching all the "cut scenes" as a bonus prize. It's not that Eragon feels like huge chunks were pulled from its now-skimpy frame -- but that the "in-between" scenes that may have given the film some color, urgency or freshness ... were simply never written in the first place.
Silver linings? Well, the dragon effects are pretty nifty, but so is the 3-D screensaver I use on my laptop. Aside from the spectacle of watching Malkovich, Jeremy Irons, Robert Carlyle and Djimon Hounsou dribble dialogue that simply HAD to seem funny at the time, there's very little in Eragon that will convince your eyelids to remain upright. The flick is a stunningly confused mess, steeped in tedium and literary plagiarism, and brought to cinematic life with a "New Franchise!" mentality that clearly got in the way of making a simple good movie. A bald-faced lack of originality I could forgive, but not when it's delivered in such a slipshod, silly and malformed package.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
12-20-2006 @ 8:11PM
EN said...
Haven't seen "Eragon," but I think the "scene in which someone rides the back of a dragon while whooping and cheering" was made fairly fresh again in "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."
Granted that was a hippogriff. But just sayin'...
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12-21-2006 @ 7:47AM
La-di-dah said...
Isn't this movie set for a triology? I don't know whether to laugh or make a sad face, since it sure getting a lot of bad (mediocre at best) reviews for a movie that hopes to make a second ... and a third.
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12-20-2006 @ 10:59PM
April said...
I thought it was a great movie. And I for one am not tired of seeing the things you'd mentioned you'd be just as happy never to see in a movie again. Most of that is summed up as "fantasy" genre. Maybe you should critique a different genre of movie next time and look for a writer who actually gets a kick out of magic, dragons and "whooping!"
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12-21-2006 @ 2:51AM
Mad Eye said...
Well having not watched it yet.
I cant understand why people hate it?? If you have seen POA and gof you will have seen everything changed. Now you know how book lovers feel
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12-21-2006 @ 2:24AM
Raven W. said...
I refused to read Eragon on the principle that the dragon on the cover of the book was ugly.
Now I'm glad to know I'm not missing anything.
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12-21-2006 @ 5:37AM
danielle said...
Hey Raven, don't judge a book by it's cover. The books are wonderful. I think the author is wonderful. From what I've seen of the movie, not as interesting as the books, but then I don't like most book to movie adaptations. So the book as usual is better than the movie. Everyone is commenting on the fact that the movie is not as good as the book.
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12-21-2006 @ 9:08AM
Scott Macdonald said...
Right on, Scott. Vapid, if not unwatchable pap. Exactly the kind of film that it's hard to say anything substantial about, or care to ever see it again.
Glad I didn't have to write anything about it.
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12-21-2006 @ 10:11AM
David said...
Uh, Raven? You do realize that the dragon will look like whatever you want it to when you read the book, right?
That's got to be the most retarded reason I've ever heard for not reading a book. Seriously.
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12-22-2006 @ 4:56AM
Richard von Busack said...
I thought Carlyle should win an Oscar for his performance as Skeletor.
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12-22-2006 @ 5:07PM
Fuse #8 said...
For the record, I once counted in the book how many chapters began with some version of "Eragon woke up". The final count came to about twenty-one. It's awful, but at least it's derivative AND awful. I had hoped the movie makers would pull a "Bridges of Madison County" with this one and make the film better than the book. Some things, sad to say, cannot be salvaged.
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12-23-2006 @ 4:51PM
John said...
I thought the review was a little harsh. I liked the books, I liked the movie. It does show that a fairly young person wrote it, but hey, how many of you have written anything at all worth reading? If you have seen it all, then maybe you are just old and jaded.
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12-23-2006 @ 8:38PM
nancy said...
I was so disappointed in this movie. I had read both of the books prior to giving them to my grandson and felt the movie was a really bad hatch job.How sad! I do not see how someone who has not read the book could follow the plot and for those who have read the book it was such a let down. There was so much otential.
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12-24-2006 @ 11:36AM
Matt said...
I completely agree with Nancy. This movie had the potential to be really great, but once again Hollywood took a great book and totally screwed it up. The movie kept missing major plot points by jumping through the chapters, cutting out characters, and most of the backgound from the book was missing in the movie.
I havent been this disappointed in a book made into a movie since i watched Starship Troopers(a very good book by the way). I suggest skip the movie and buy the book. You will be much happier on how you spent your money.
P.S. If you havent read the book dont comment on it. Yeah the movie was terrible, but it shouldnt reflect on the book.
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12-24-2006 @ 3:28PM
joanna said...
Went to see Eragon yesterday what a waste of my money. You are so right Throughout the whole movie I just kept thinking of Star Wars. Let us compare this plagirism shall we. Lets see we have the following:
Eragon a farmboy dragon fighter = Luke Skywalker a farmboy jedi knight
Uncle Garrow = Uncle Owen
Brom (taecher and mentor) = Obi Wan Kenobi (same)
Princess Arya = Princess Leia (no explanation here)
Durza (evil sidekick) = Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus (same)
King Galbatorix = The Emperor (duh!)
Murtagh (rebel) = Han Solo (same)
Saphira (ride) = x wing
Rachel Weisz (voice of Saphira) = Frank Oz (voice of Yoda)
Ajihad = Lando Clarissian (maybe?)
I also agree with the Harry Potter theme throughout. When Eragon used his magic to heal Saphita's wound and walked on her tail (this especially was quite comically.I was awaiting for the Quitdich game to begin at any moment)
What really struck me was the "duel" between Eragon and Durza. Remember in Star Wars III when Anakin and Obi Wan are fighting in the control room on the Volcano Planet? Eragon movie could not even come up with a different fight scene..both Eragon and Durza hold their hand up to push the other away. How original!!
Either the author of the book has watched Star Wars a little too many times or has a book by the notable Joseph Campbell attached to his hip!
Please be creative next time..people do remember plot lines and it is insulting to us that they would actually pass this movie off as being someting new. How may times do we have to see the same plot lines!
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12-27-2006 @ 4:45PM
KickButtBooks said...
I thought the movie was GREAT! All these negative reviews honestly surprised me. Yes, it was a bit disappointing to me that there was a lot left out according to the book, Solumbum for one. But you can't put everything in or you would have had a 6 hour movie! And you can't say that Christopher Paolini copied his ideas from Tolkien or Lucas. That would be like saying Ann Rice copied Bram Stoker because he wrote about vampires FIRST! Sheeesh! Don't you people realize that there hasn't been an original thought out there in centuries, hence the reason "retro" is so popular. We just keep re-using and re-making the same 'ol crap. This book was about a boy and his Dragon, NOT about the return of the King or the return of the Jedi..... So lay off Eragon. It was a fabulous book, written by a talented 15 year old and the movie, for the most part, was equally as entertaining.
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12-27-2006 @ 2:18PM
Imani said...
Djimon Honsou was in it? Honsou??? HONSOU? He needs to fire his agent.
And don't let anyone fool you the book is derivative pap.
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12-27-2006 @ 10:33PM
Kisa Hawklin said...
Right on. I didn't pay for this movie (sneaked in after having seen something else), and I'm glad I didn't. Rachel Wiesz, Djimon Honsou, Robert Carlyle, and John Malkovich all need to fire their agents. There's no excuse for this.
Also, there is no excuse for this book being lauded as a breakout work of a child author. He shouldn't get bonus cred because he's young. Anyone attempting to write starts with copying their favorite stories, it's a natural place to begin. That doesn't mean it should get published! With luck or perseverence, they move on to original ideas (one hopes) and not plagiarizing everything they've read over the last ten years. This should never have gotten past an editor.
I had heard that they had basically taken the name and characters and rewritten the screenplay entirely. I wish they had. I wish they had hired someone who wasn't a twelve year old to write dialogue. I wish they had hired someone to do makeup and costuming.
Never mind. I just wish this had never happened.
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12-28-2006 @ 9:31AM
ffgdf said...
it was rubbish
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1-05-2007 @ 7:50PM
Blacky said...
I have yet to read the book so i will not comment on that but i have seen the movie and it sucked it was like playing a lame RPG with out any control with stolen idea from lord of the rings and stars wars it is painfully easy to see a 15 year old wrote it everything is so preditible. The entire move was filled with 90 minutes of cheesy dialog that will make you cringe but if you do see it bring a ice pix it pop you ear drum caus you are going to need something to end your misery
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12-29-2006 @ 8:23PM
Angel said...
Well, the movie sucked. It seemed like they took the book, tore out the pages in the middle, decided to make half the characters mentally retarded, figured that elves, dwarfs, and humans all look the same and fired their make-up artists, and gave the dragon feathers. Not to mention they flipped one character backwards so he isnt who he is in the book, and made Eragon go down a different path, since he was supposed to go to the Elf Land or whatever. The movie was awful and I have lost any faith in Hollywood that I retained. As for the book, I completely loved it. I know it takes a lot of things out of previous books and movies, as well as a series which none of you seem to know. The Wheel Of Time series. About 13 books long and really good in my opinion.
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