The First Annual Mr. Moviefone Awards
Filed under: Awards, Hold the 'Fone, Mr. Moviefone
The Oscars, the Golden Globes and those other movie awards are all well and good, but they're the same thing every year: Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Motion Picture, etc., etc. Booooooring! We here at Moviefone thought we'd spice things up a bit, do something a little different just to give you movie lovers an awards program about which you can really be proud. And so this year we tapped Mr. Moviefone himself to distribute awards in categories that you'll most likely never EVER see at the Academy Awards. And you know what? Those other awards are weaker for it. And so we present the first annual Mr. Moviefone Awards.
But first, here's a special message from the one and only Mr. Moviefone ...
Here's what I've learned after reading some of your comments ... you guys are way better at this as I am. So add your very own award, and sometime in mid-February I will choose and then broadcast the top 10 on one of my TV or radio outlets. Probably the one I want to get fired from the most ... because I'm pretty sure it will happen. And of course we will broadcast it right here on Moviefone.com. So let 'er rip. We're not easily offended.
Actor Most Likely to Make You Want to Throw Crap at the Screen: Robin Williams in 'RV'
Actor Most in Danger of Becoming Overexposed: Hugh Jackman for starring in six films this year
Actress Most in Danger of Becoming Overexposed: Scarlett Johansson -- not so much because she's in too many movies; she's just likely to pop out of her dress
Best Actor/Actress Nobody Saw: Tie between Ryan Gosling and Shareeka Epps, both in 'Half Nelson'
The "Why Can't I Be Matt Damon" Award: Ben Affleck
Actress Most Likely to Split Six Pitchers of Beer and a Bucket of Wings With You (and Look Sexy While Doing It): Elizabeth Banks in 'Invincible'
Funniest Performance in a Drama: Tie between Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin, both in 'The Departed'
Most Vindicated Actor of the Year: Daniel Craig in 'Casino Royale'
The Most Humiliating Sequel (aka The "No Matter How Old I Get I'm Going to Act Like a 20-Year-Old Tramp" Award): Sharon Stone for 'Basic Instinct 2'
"Biggest Act of Hubris" Award: M. Night Shyamalan for casting himself as a writer whose work will change the world in the not-so-world-changing 'Lady in the Water'
Best Use of a Severed Body Part on Screen: Jack Nicholson using a corpse's hand for emphasis in 'The Departed'
Best Movie Line for Picking Up Chicks: "Very nice. How much?" -- Sacha Baron Cohen in 'Borat'
Movie That Should Have Required Guys to Trade Their Manhood Instead of Cash for Admission: 'The Holiday'
Most Over-Hyped Movie of the Year: 'Snakes on a Plane'
Best Movie Nobody Saw: 'Little Children'
Worst Movie Everybody Saw: 'X-Men: The Last Stand'
Funniest Movie of the Year: 'Borat'
Scariest Movie of the Year: 'An Inconvenient Truth'
Biggest Rip-Off of the Year: 'The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause'
The "Why on Earth Do They Still Let Them Make Movies" Award: Tie between Harrison Ford in 'Firewall' and The Wayans brothers for 'Little Man' (and every other movie they've ever made)
Movie Most Likely to Induce Vomiting: 'Jackass: Number Two'
The Most Porn-Like Movie Title of the Year: Tie between 'Stick It,' 'Little Man,' 'Glory Road,' 'She's the Man,' 'The Pink Panther' and 'Failure to Launch'
POST: What movie awards would you bestow this year?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
12-28-2006 @ 11:29PM
jack said...
f'ing great. better than any oscars I've ever seen. now we just need to get these awards on TV : )
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12-29-2006 @ 1:56AM
ozwalkr said...
I could only wish this was what I had the choice of watching on tv for an awards show. These choices at least make sense.
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12-29-2006 @ 11:39AM
Oliver said...
Sharon Stone, Shamalamadingdong, and Harrison Ford...I couldn't agree more. Hillarious man, and you're right...everyone should go see Little Children!
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12-31-2006 @ 1:57PM
Karen said...
Hilarious!! And totally on the money too! I love the Robin Williams and Sharon Stone awards.
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12-29-2006 @ 5:18PM
purplhz2222 said...
Ha! I loved them! Especially the "Why do they still let them make movies?" Award and the "Why can't I be Matt Damon?" Award. Great stuff, should be on TV. And I really want to see Little Children!
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12-29-2006 @ 10:44PM
Remington said...
I wish that I could get them to sing and submit a song to SUBMITAHIT.com . I love their acting but they sing well too. Submit your song if you dare!!!
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12-30-2006 @ 6:17PM
Harry said...
X-men was good...why did it get the award for worst movie everyone saw?
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12-30-2006 @ 6:18PM
Carmen lapointe said...
what is Tristan and Isolde about.
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12-30-2006 @ 6:19PM
Carmen lapointe said...
moviefone do you know wha Tristan and Isolde is about?
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12-30-2006 @ 6:19PM
G said...
Despite the fact that Hugh Jackman chose some particular stinkers to be in this year, I don't mind his overexposure one bit. He's beautiful.
Harry: I thought X-men was good, too, and not just because of the presense of the aforementioned gentleman.
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12-30-2006 @ 10:19PM
Sam said...
I agree that X-men was good. Also Firewall was not completely horrible... movies like Syriana are horrible. I completely agree that Daniel Craig is most vindicated actor, and am so thankful.
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1-13-2007 @ 11:39AM
moviefreak said...
Most unpredictable movie: The Prestige
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1-01-2007 @ 4:26PM
cie said...
Acts like a demented defensive old piece of white trash... Sharon Stone! She looks so odd with 3 little kids too! She really is like 60ish and looks like her kids' grandmother! She is scary.
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12-31-2006 @ 5:58PM
cie said...
the Ben Affleck award is so right on! He is one loser. Matt Damon is the best!
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1-01-2007 @ 4:25PM
Christie Michel said...
Gayest Couple? What the hell does that mean. I expect teenagers to go around saying "That's so gay" not this website. Dissapointed.
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1-01-2007 @ 1:43AM
Crystal said...
I though Lady on the Water was truly a beautiful movie. I think it got to much of a bad review.
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1-01-2007 @ 4:29AM
roger said...
Best reality-stretching performance(s) by a glamorous Hollywood Starlet portraying an Iraq War Veteran:
Jessica Biel in "Stealth" and "Home of the Brave"
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1-01-2007 @ 5:11PM
M said...
Gayest couple? Really? We're not past using the word "gay" in such a childish way yet? Good job.
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1-02-2007 @ 10:32AM
mr. moviefone said...
ummmm....no, not past it. perfect award for Tristan and Isolde. maybe I should give out the butt pucker award for most uptight moviegoer?
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1-02-2007 @ 1:31PM
seth said...
Best Fictional Use of Religion since Religion was Made Up in the First Place: The DaVinci Code
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