Review: Epic Movie
Filed under: Comedy, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Theatrical Reviews, 20th Century Fox
Since Epic Movie was not screened for members of the press, here's what I had to spend in order to bring you this review on opening day: A $19 cab ride, a $7 movie ticket and a $10 day-pass for T-Mobile's wireless internet access at a nearby Border's Book Store, which is where I am currently sitting, drinking a (very strong) vanilla latte and trying to figure out how in the hell a movie this sloppy and stupid could ever earn itself a theatrical release. One can only assume that last year's Date Movie (which was perpetrated by the same duo that unleashed Epic Movie) made just enough money to warrant (yet) another pseudo-movie in which a dozen recent blockbusters are spoofed in amazingly limp and uncreative fashion.
Suffice it to say I really took one for the team today. To be completely fair, I chuckled two or three times during the generally witless Epic Movie, which instantly makes the flick more recommendable than Date Movie -- but if all a movie can give you is a small handful of stray and listless chuckles, well, I don't really think that's a movie worthy of your eight dollars (to say nothing of the $36 I just wasted this afternoon).
The plot is a misshapen amalgam of films like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Chronicles of Narnia and The Da Vinci Code, but whenever those zany screenwriters (Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg) get stuck coming up with another flaccid gag, they have no problem yanking "inspiration" from Nacho Libre, Snakes on a Plane, X-Men, Mission Impossible and Click. (Yes, Click.) Movies deemed worthy of only a cursory or half-hearted swipe include Hustle & Flow, Star Wars, Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift and ... Talladega Nights? Really? And was that actually a Borat look-alike wedged in just prior to the end credits? Yeesh.
And therein lies the problem with junky little non-movies like Epic Movie: They are intent (no, insistent) on delivering only the broadest and most obvious references to other movies; there's no actual wit, insight or satire found here -- just moments where you're supposed to yell "Oh, ha ha, he looks like Wolverine!" or "Oh, that looks like the set from The Da Vinci Code! How very amusing to me!!" A particularly (and annoyingly) piece of irony is this: In the very brief moments when Epic Movie is NOT cribbing off of other (mostly good) movies, there are a few brief glimmers of actual comedy. I've always been a fan of over-the-top slapstick, so I noticed a few isolated (mostly throwaway) bits that were actually kinda ... funny! (Not hilarious, mind you, but yes: kinda funny.) Unfortunately the few small thimblefuls of amusement are buried beneath thud after thud of gags hitting the floor. When in doubt, the filmmakers resort to having their characters break into dance ... because nothing in the universe is funnier than watching Jack Sparrow or Willy Wonka break out into hip-hop gyrations. Ugh.
"The good stuff" (all things being relative) come almost exclusively from angel-faced newcomer Jayma Mays; the gal's material is not much more than "dumb & clumsy" schtick, but she's one of the only performers to escape from Epic Movie with a passing grade. Veterans like Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge are left floundering with material that's really quite terrible; leading men Kal Penn and Adam Campbell earn points for enthusiasm, but they're not talented enough actors to salvage this screenplay. (In their defense, I doubt that even history's best comedians could make something out of the Epic Movie script.) Cameos by folks like Carmen Electra, David Carradine, Kevin McDonald, Crispin Glover and Darrell Hammond add nothing to the proceedings beside extra running time. (And at 80-some mostly painful minutes, Epic Movie is still a pretty anemic affair.)
At least Epic Movie approaches something resembling a "real movie." It has passable production design and there seems to have been a yeoman's attempt at stuff like special effects and costume design -- but it's all in service of a terrible silly collection of ideas. I've no doubt that Friedberg and Seltzer are fairly funny guys, but based only on what's been seen in movies "Date" and Epic," I'm beginning to think they're actually those "lamp shade on the head" guys who are so damn annoying at parties. Were they able to come up with some of their own ideas and stop aimlessly aping other people's flicks, I'd be happy to take a look and thrilled to actually enjoy it.
But if all they're going to do for the next fifteen years is dole out assembly-line pop-culture detritus like Epic Movie, you'll forgive me if I skip their next ones. The expense is too great -- and life is too short.
The Exhibitionist: Buy Concessions (Please)
Poll: What Did You Think About 'The Dark Knight'?
Review: The Dark Knight -- Scott's Take
Review: Mamma Mia!_thumbnail.jpg)
The 'Watchmen' Trailer is HERE!
_thumbnail.jpg)
_thumbnail.jpg){kind=spacer}
_thumbnail.jpg "Watchmen Storyboards")
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
1-26-2007 @ 9:10PM
someone said...
Don't complain about something 99% of the general public does weekly.
Reply
1-26-2007 @ 11:59PM
William Goss said...
I chuckled just barely more at Date, and while I still chuckled once or twice at Epic, it didn't make matters any more tolerable.
Oh, and Mays may be cute, but she was funnier in her - what? - five minutes of Red Eye than in the entirety of this.
Alas...
Reply
1-27-2007 @ 5:27AM
Barb said...
I really liked Gregory Jbara at the very end. (He played "Mel" in prison.) That was why I was there, to support my favorite actor, and if I had to sit there through the end credits to do it, then so be it.
Movie was pretty stupid but fun, and I was entertained by the kids (teens) behind me saying out loud the name of every movie being spoofed. "Nacho Libre!" .... "A Christmas Story!"
I only spent a total of $18 (ticket, water, popcorn) plus whatever gas it took me to get there. $36 ... whew, that is steep! Well, thanks for going to all that trouble.
Reply
1-27-2007 @ 10:19AM
Rich Drees said...
Well, look at the bright side- Since it was business related, at least the 36 bucks is tax deductable.
For myself, EPIC MOVIE doesn't even look like it's worth the effort of sneaking into after seeing something else at a cineplex.
Reply
1-27-2007 @ 11:58AM
Donna A. said...
I will wait for the DVD. I didn't think The Date Movie was all that bad. Yes, it could have been better.
Donna A.
Reply
1-27-2007 @ 12:48PM
Nick James said...
Crispin Glover's cameo was a little far out. But the movie sucked. Hard. The only parts that really made me laugh was anytime Jack Swallows was on screen. It was such a dead on hilarious impersonation of Jack Sparrow... those exaggerated hand movements were priceless. As for the rest... JUNK. Absolute JUNK.
Reply
1-27-2007 @ 2:54PM
Josh said...
What's getting butts in the seats for this flick isn't a good all-around movie. People are seeing one movie that they really, really, liked being parodied (though I think this is about the most liberal interpretation of the word "parody" that a person could come up with), and go with the attitude of "well, even if the movie is terrible, at least I'll get to see ____"
Reply
1-27-2007 @ 7:02PM
Mikkel said...
I still don't understand why it's being called Epic Movie... What's epic about, say, 75% of the movies made "fun" of?
Reply
1-28-2007 @ 10:01PM
pete loythingsie said...
I have not been to the theatre in about three years and I loved this movie. I understand that they were making fun of other movies that is what made this thing so funny. I am not kidding I thought the thing was fantastic. None of the movies that they were spoofing have I seen but I did know what they were doing. I absolutley loved it. I just heard it was number one in the country this weekend. I will recomend it to everyone I know.
Reply
1-29-2007 @ 12:02PM
SteveB said...
Poster #9: Please do not father children (going out on a limb here and assuming you are male). Thank you.
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 3:33PM
BobbyB said...
The only way this experience would have been better, is if at the end of the film, the film makers themselves came up to me and cut my head off and crapped down my throat.
I have walked out of better movies.
And for god's sakes, will someone make Adam Campbell stop acting; he has appeared in more crap than peanuts and corn.
I am truly disappointed in myself that I paid to see this film and sat there stunned for the full hour and a half. But what is even more stunning is that people actually spent months out of their lives writing and producing this film. It is just further proof to me that retarded children of lobotomized parents should not be allowed to grow up and be film makers.
Reply
2-02-2007 @ 12:57AM
Prissy said...
I waited when she walked up to the icy pole. I thought " If she puts her tongue on that pole and it sticks this whole movie will stink". There is no older shop worn shtick.. My son and I rewrote the movie in the car on the way home and it was hilarious..why couldn't they????
Reply
2-04-2007 @ 10:56PM
kankeydoo said...
This movie was actually...pretty crappy. the best part was the "kribs" scene, & the black guy saying that the white bitch hates black people. that was funny, but other that that it had waaay too much disgusting, hairy, & fat male nudity. oh & does anyone know the name of the song right after "miss. new booty" on the ending credits? thanks!
Reply
2-18-2007 @ 8:22PM
Em said...
I loved the movie. it is a very funny movie and people should see it. people have told me they are offended by the movie because it makes fun of there favorite movie but its funny and they shouldn't be they made fun of my favorite movie (potc) but i didn't dislike it any less because they did. i do find it hard though in the movie they are all siblings yet one is indian one is african american and the other 2 are caucasian so how in the world are they related???
Reply