Cinematical

It's fascinating to me that I used to live in a world where the films of Jean-Claude Van Damme were popular. At his peak, Jean-Claude was pocketing over 5 million dollars a movie! And them's 1994 dollars! Doesn't that boggle the mind? I mean, Van Damme made a movie in which a Cajun-accented Wilford Brimley rode in slow-motion on horseback with a bow and arrow! If I had to pinpoint the moment when JCVD's career officially died, I'd say it was around the time he made that movie with Dennis Rodman, but believe it or not, he's kept his "acting" career alive ever since. He's had a pretty steady run of straight-to-DVD films playing characters with names like Edward "The Torch" Garrotte. I've always thought "The Muscles from Brussels" could make a decent comeback if he'd only let us know that he's in on the joke. Well, the dude is branching out a bit, but not in the way I'd hoped. He is attempting a horror movie.

Now, you could argue that all of Van Damme's movies have been horrifying in one way or another, but this is said to be his first supernatural thriller. It is called Holy Brood, and according to the film's writer Sheldon Lettich, it "deals with the occult and the supernatural." Lettich calls it a cross between The Exorcist and The X-Files, but "what's different is that it will have Van Damme instead of Father Karras, or Scully and Mulder." In other words, instead of respected actors, it will star a Razzie Award winner who can do the splits. For the three of you who give a Van Damme about Holy Brood, know that you'll have to wait for him to finish production on something called The Smashing Machine first. Yes, The Smashing Machine. By the way, if you've never seen this clip of Van Damme dancing in Kickboxer, I don't think it's overstating things to say that it will forever change your life.