Brace Yourself for the 'Bloodrayne 2' Teaser
Filed under: Action, Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Trailer Trash, Remakes and Sequels, Games and Game Movies, Western
Not since the days of Billy the Kid Meets Dracula and Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter has there been a promise of a Western / Horror amalgam as outrageous as Uwe Boll's BloodRayne 2. (It really is amazing how quickly Boll churns these things out. Far as I can tell, he's got Dungeon Siege, Postal, Seed and BloodRayne 2 finished or nearly finished. God helps us all.) But this one seems to have it all: Vampire vs. cowboys, horror mixed with action (inevitably mixed with a lot of comedy), Michael Pare as Pat Garrett, Zack Ward as a vampiric Billy the Kid (pictured), and even a brand-new Rayne! Natassia Malthe replaces Kristanna Loken as the titular terror tracker.Someone over at Boll's production company recently sent a plot synopsis over to the gorehounds at Bloody-Disgusting.com, and I can tell it comes from one of Boll's people because the text is sprinkled with sloppy grammar and spelling errors. (Could Boll be so prolific as to pen his own plot synopses? Based on the mild mangling of the English language, I believe it.) I'll paste the whole synopsis in after the jump (because it's pretty hilarious), but the short version is this: BloodRayne and Garrett do battle with the vampire Billy the Kid and his blood-sucking cronies. What, you expected Oscar Wilde?
No word yet on when BloodRayne 2 will be available for our ceaseless amusement, but I can't freaking wait for Boll to unleash his newest flicks already. I'm long past the point where I don't like the guy anymore, and I look forward to his flicks like an unkind pet owner looks forward to feeding his puppy beer and then watching the animal stumble into walls and trip over things. Few things in the world are as reliable as a Uwe Boll movie. Reliably, wonderfully bad, that is. Until BR2 hits your Walmart's bargain bin, check out this teaser trailer.
Official (and unedited) BloodRayne 2 Plot Synopsis
"Newton Piles (CHRIS COPPOLA), a reporter on assignment for the Chicago Chronicle, has come to Deliverance, Montana, to write tales of the Wild West. But until the railway comes through next week, Deliverance is the quietest town on the frontier. All of that is about to change. Led by Billy the Kid (ZACK WARD), a hoard of evil cowboys goes on a rampage, slaughtering townspeople and rounding up children. Billy spares Newton's life, promising to give him the greatest story ever told.
Behind the decimation of Deliverance is the diabolical and out of control Billy the Kid (ZACK WARD). A 357-year old Transylvanian vampire, Billy is hell-bent on creating his own kingdom in the New World. Using the railway, he is building an army of cowboy vampires to take over the country. But Billy meets his match in Rayne (NATASSIA MALTHE). The product of the unnatural union of a vampire and a human, Rayne is a Dhampir: she wields all the powers of a vampire, yet none of the weaknesses. Born over a century earlier in Romania, Rayne has been hunting vampires for a long time. Now she has her sites set on Billy.
Rayne rides through the woods and comes upon a farmhouse where, instead of a reunion with old friends, she discovers what's left of their ravaged bodies. Outside the house, a man is waiting for her, and before he can level his shotgun, she has unsheathed one of her swords and points its tip at his crotch. Thus Rayne meets the legendary Pat Garrett (MICHAEL PARE). The two part ways, but they will meet again.
In Deliverance, Rayne discovers a town overrun with vampire cowboys and she does her best to extinguish them with silver bullets. But the town has gone bad and the vampire sheriff (JOHN NOVAK) condemns her to the gallows. Rayne manages to escape, but while on the run she is shot.
Pat Garret rescues her and she tells him she needs blood to heal. He cuts his arm to indulge her, and she almost devours him. He breaks free from her clutches and Rayne is as good as new. Like Rayne, Garret is a member of Brimstone, the vampire hunting society, and they need to find new initiates. Thus, they recruit two unlikely members for their posse: a dishonest preacher (MICHAEL EKLUND) and low life Franson (MICHAEL TEIGEN).
The old west will never be the same again when Pat Garret, BloodRayne and the Brimstone posse ride into Deliverance for one hell of a showdown against Billy the Kid and his evil army of vampire cowboys. A tale of how the West was won, BloodRayne 2: Deliverance has intrigue, secret societies, Gattling guns, heroes, villains and vampires!"
Behind the decimation of Deliverance is the diabolical and out of control Billy the Kid (ZACK WARD). A 357-year old Transylvanian vampire, Billy is hell-bent on creating his own kingdom in the New World. Using the railway, he is building an army of cowboy vampires to take over the country. But Billy meets his match in Rayne (NATASSIA MALTHE). The product of the unnatural union of a vampire and a human, Rayne is a Dhampir: she wields all the powers of a vampire, yet none of the weaknesses. Born over a century earlier in Romania, Rayne has been hunting vampires for a long time. Now she has her sites set on Billy.
Rayne rides through the woods and comes upon a farmhouse where, instead of a reunion with old friends, she discovers what's left of their ravaged bodies. Outside the house, a man is waiting for her, and before he can level his shotgun, she has unsheathed one of her swords and points its tip at his crotch. Thus Rayne meets the legendary Pat Garrett (MICHAEL PARE). The two part ways, but they will meet again.
In Deliverance, Rayne discovers a town overrun with vampire cowboys and she does her best to extinguish them with silver bullets. But the town has gone bad and the vampire sheriff (JOHN NOVAK) condemns her to the gallows. Rayne manages to escape, but while on the run she is shot.
Pat Garret rescues her and she tells him she needs blood to heal. He cuts his arm to indulge her, and she almost devours him. He breaks free from her clutches and Rayne is as good as new. Like Rayne, Garret is a member of Brimstone, the vampire hunting society, and they need to find new initiates. Thus, they recruit two unlikely members for their posse: a dishonest preacher (MICHAEL EKLUND) and low life Franson (MICHAEL TEIGEN).
The old west will never be the same again when Pat Garret, BloodRayne and the Brimstone posse ride into Deliverance for one hell of a showdown against Billy the Kid and his evil army of vampire cowboys. A tale of how the West was won, BloodRayne 2: Deliverance has intrigue, secret societies, Gattling guns, heroes, villains and vampires!"
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
4-30-2007 @ 3:55PM
Eklen said...
'she wields all the powers of a vampire, yet none of the weaknesses'
'she tells him she needs blood to heal. He cuts his arm to indulge her, and she almost devours him'
Wow, that has to be the most original idea I have ever read, amazing, really. Uwe Boll has such a creative imagination, he must be one of the best directors yet. How in the world can people say his movies suck? (*sarcasm btw...*)
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5-11-2007 @ 12:27AM
Jon said...
I actually like the teaser.
Reply
6-06-2007 @ 8:29PM
dawnlee8 said...
I too saw the movie at an industry screening at the Cannes Film Festival. I was surprised how many people came to it on a bright, sunny day and I did NOT know what to expect having only seen Bloodraybe and Alone In the Dark.... it was worth it. We all laughed in the first 30 seconds and laughed right through to end. Sometimes funny ha ha and sometimes funny as in oh my f***ing God!
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