Cinematical Seven: Reasons Why Summer Movies Keep Getting Dumber

Once upon a time, movie palaces gleamed in the summer light and contained wonder: Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Jaws, or Aliens or The Matrix. But for the past few years, though, going to the movies in the summer has been more lackluster than blockbuster. And I think there are a couple reasons why that can't be dismissed as mere nostalgia, and also why this year's been so especially underwhelming for the fun-seeking moviegoer. Here, then, are the seven reasons summer movies are getting dumber.

1) Effects over Affect

Anyone who watched in awe and wonder as a silver, shifting Robert Patrick ambled out of a burning Big Rig in Terminator 2 knows that special effects are a huge part of a summer movie. But those wonderful virtual visions aren't the only part, and that's being forgotten in the real world of moviemaking. After being told that the transforming in Transformers was so complex, so 'real' that it contained more motions than the human eye can follow, all you can do is sincerely hope that someone out there can remember that the point of a movie is to be followed by the human eye, and the human heart. Yes, Robert Patrick walking calmly out of that fire is a great moment in special effects; but it (and our first sight of the shark in Jaws, or the first dinosaur moment in Jurassic Park, or Trinity's lotus-kick in The Matrix) was also a moment that changed the stakes of the story of the film, that affected people who mattered to us. Nothing this summer's been written with that kind of mythic scale in mind. (300 reached for it, but missed. And, despite my fairly heated dislike for the film, I can almost – almost – respect their attempt.)
2) Marketing Madness

Illegally-embossed quarters; wholly-transformed 7-11 stores; animated rat-branded greens for sale at my local Albertson's. This is just a top-of-my-head list of the marketing events I've been exposed to this summer by various films vying for audiences. Certainly not all of these films (specifically Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, The Simpsons Movie and Ratatouille) are bad. (The one that rhymes with 'Schmantistic Schmour' is, though, and I haven't seen the middle one yet.) But they're all examples of just how much damn co-branding is tied up in our summer movie experience, and how movie marketing has somehow become news in and of itself.

3) Over-Prints and #1 Mania

When did seeing the phrase "The Number One Movie in America!" in the ad become an inducement to see a film? The desire on the part of studios to hit the top of the box office is leading to circumstances where you have movies this summer opening on 3,900-plus screens – week after week. The idea that you have to make all the money in the first weekend and/or set some kind of record has become kind of exhausting, and matched by movies that fall off by 51% (Evan Almighty) or 65% (Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer) the next week. In fact, this year, only two films have held the box office for more than one week since May kicked off Summer Movie Season – Spider-Man III and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End – with every other Box Office #1 falling off by at least 45% the second week. That's not a release strategy; that's carpet bombing.

4) Anti-Oscar Programming

Conventional wisdom says that if you want a movie to have a shot at best picture, you've got to release it in the last quarter of the year-- which becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. This summer, the only films to poke their heads up above the sea of toy tie-ins and special effects were Sicko and A Mighty Heart -- but between conventional wisdom and the kind of over-booking we've seen this year, it's hard for good movies to bubble up through the cracks if there aren't, in fact, any cracks. But if that conventional wisdom broke and you had studios releasing more serious dramas during the summer, I can't help but think it might make the purveyors of popcorn pleasure up their game a bit, too.

5) Benched Big Players

Growing up, summertime for me meant you could expect a movie from one of the big three: Spielberg, Lucas, or Cameron. Spielberg's working on Indiana Jones IV, which is fairly good news for next summer, but George Lucas and James Cameron have both benched themselves, through either making bad movies (the most recent Star Wars films) or not making movies at all. (Cameron, outside of some documentaries, has been largely present in moviemaking through his absence since Titanic was released a decade ago.) I'm glad that we've had directors (most notably Sam Raimi) step up to the big leagues, but it would be nice if Spielberg and Cameron could get back to making Summertime Blockbusters; and it would be nice if we could see some of the writers of past summertime classics get gigs, too. I mean, Lawrence Kasdan wrote (or co-wrote) The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Return of the Jedi and Silverado, each and ever one a superbly-written, massively fun adventure, and, I'm sure, has at least one more romp like the above in him.

6) "Do You Have Anything Original for Us That's Like Something We've Seen Before?"

Close your eyes, think hard; try to remember the last big summer movie that wasn't based on a comic book, a kid's book, another film, a line of toys, or a theme park ride. I have to go back to The Matrix (which is "original" insofar as it spirals out of dozens of prior sources instead of just one) to think of the last time that happened. And while yes, the third film in that series was a bust, the first Matrix film was impressive, exciting, important and, yes, meaningful, and still stands as a great example of what happened when creators with a bold idea are given backing and faith and the resources to make something new. In modern, risk-averse Hollywood, it's hard to imagine a second-time directing duo getting that kind of support (note that the Wachowskis are now chained to the millstone that is Speed Racer -- an adaptation 40-year-old cartoon), and it's hard to imagine us getting a film as jaw-droppingly exciting and fresh as the first Matrix film.

7) We're Not Helping Any

And yes, I mean 'We;' I was part of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer's opening weekend box office. (I went with a friend; we had a few drinks before, and come on, it's the Silver Surfer. All dudes can sympathize with the Silver Surfer, because he's cool and lonely and his boss is a jerk.) Even as the big summer movies get less and less enjoyable, offering us few pleasures other than watching someone else spend money on the big screen, they still make money -- and until that changes, not much else is going to.