Killer B's on DVD: Splatter Farm

When this shot on VHS feature hit video stores in 1987, the box cover carried the tagline "Old McDonald had a farm... Ei Ei Ouch!" Yeah, that's about as clever as Splatter Farm gets. August 14 is the release date for the latest entry in Camp Motion Pictures' Retro 80s Horror Collection, but I think the day would be better spent balancing your check book, laminating the cat, or pretty much anything other than buying this DVD. Don't get me wrong, this one's got enthusiasm and it makes some gutsy moves (in every sense of the term), but the directionless story and the use of non-actors -- especially Marion Costly as a necrophilic senior citizen -- makes for a painful viewing experience.
Teenage twin brothers Joseph and Allen (played by co-writers and directors John and Mark Polonia), each sporting a dreadful looking peach fuzz mustache, go to visit their Aunt Lacey on her remote farm. Aunt Lacey is a fairly creepy old lady with an unhealthy attraction to Allen, and an even unhealthier fascination with the remains of her husband, who lost a fight with an axe several years earlier. Lacey's handyman Jeremy (Todd Smith), is a demented young man in a John Deere jacket whose makeup job appears to consist of black crayon in his eyebrows and having drunk a large glass of cherry Kool-Aid. Jeremy is an old school rural nut job, kind of in the vein of Ed Gein, who has body parts scattered all over the place, and he shares Aunt Lacey's love for the dead. Joseph and Allen suspect something strange is going on, and when they find evidence of Jeremy's crimes it is much to their regret.

On one hand the filmmakers are to be applauded for pushing the envelope as far as they did. The content is so extreme -- particularly a torture scene near the film's climax -- that had the film been submitted to the MPAA not only would it have received an X-rating in those pre NC-17 days, but I also suspect the directors might well have been lynched on the spot. This is one sick puppy of a movie. "Guaranteed to turn the stomach of any horror fan," says the quote from Drive-in Movie Critic Joe Bob Briggs. "Splatter Farm is the only film with the guts to push the boundaries into new uncharted territory," is what Basket Case director Frank Hennenlotter. Both of these gents know their cinematic swill, and I can confirm the accuracy of both quotes.

On the other hand, I see little value in a film whose only reason for existing is to nauseate its audience. I'm sure if you were a gore fan who stumbled upon Splatter Farm during its VHS release, this DVD version may have some nostalgia appeal. Personally I'd never seen the film before and hope to never see it again. Oddly, as much as I disliked the feature, the disk's extras are kind of entertaining. Back to the Farm shows the Polonia brothers returning to the locations they shot at twenty years ago and they discuss how the film came to be, and how they shot and edited the whole thing on consumer grade VHS. The audio commentary covers the making of the film in greater detail, and a collection of the brothers' old super 8 millimeter films show they've had the movie making bug for some time.