Killer B's on DVD: Dead Time Stories

I've always had a fondness for this little horror comedy anthology from 1986, which has just been released by Cinevision International and Image Entertainment. Dead Time Stories was obviously made to emulate Creepshow, substituting fairy tales for the comic book style horrors of Romero's film, but it has a style that is very much its own. Even the opening credits are fun to watch, as a series of increasingly monstrous hands turn the pages of an ancient book, with an 80s style pop song playing on the soundtrack. The framing device that links the three stories together -- an uncle telling bedtime stories to his whiny nephew -- anticipates The Princess Bride which came out the following year.

Uncle Mike spins a trio of yarns designed to both scare and amuse little Brian. The first of the three tells the tale of a young man named Peter (top-billed Scott Valentine, who presumably made this flick before becoming a recurring character on Family Ties) who lived during medieval times. As a result of his financial hardships, Peter is sold as a slave to a pair of witches who are planning to bring their sister back from the dead. Part of the plan involves murdering a priest which is not to Peter's liking, and when he is asked to entice a beautiful young maiden into a similar fate, his loyalties are put to the test. This is the strongest of the three tales, providing more genuine horror than the other two combined, but still having plenty of tongue-in-cheek elements as well. The effects are the strongest in this segment as well, particularly during the reanimation of the dead witch.

The second story is a modern variation on Little Red Riding Hood, with the title character reimagined as a nubile high school senior named Rachel. While filling a prescription for her grandmother, Rachel accidentally picks up some pills for a fellow named Willy. Since Willy is obviously the big bad wolf of the piece, and since he needs to be out cold before the moon rises, it's no real surprise when he starts getting all hairy and lupine. This, of course, does not bode well for grandma. While being the least of the three stories, it's still fast paced with a pretty decent monster.

The third and final story is the strangest of the bunch. This modern take on Goldilocks and the Three Bears starts with Beresford (Papa) Baer and his son Wilmont (Baby) Baer escaping from the Saints Preserve Us Home For the Hopelessly Insane (Visa and Mastercard accepted) where the two are serving combined sentences that total 4,726 years. Judith (Mama) Baer drives the getaway car, and the three head for their house in Amityville. Unbeknownst to the three Baers, Goldi Lox, a pretty young psycho killer with telekinetic powers has taken up residence in the house, and the bodies of her victims are really stinking up the place. Of the three stories, this one takes itself the least seriously and is the funniest. The jokes in the sub-plot detailing the manhunt for the main characters fall flat for the most part, but the rest of the story manages to be pretty funny in a guilty pleasure sort of way.

While the film itself is still the fun little piece of fluff it always has been, this DVD presentation is a disappointment on many levels. I had hoped this new release would be an improvement over the version that comes in the Chilling Classics 50 Movie Pack Collection from Mill Creek Entertainment, but the difference between the two is negligible. This new release presents the film fullscreen without so much as a trailer for extras (though you can watch the trailer on Youtube), and the picture is murkier than I would have expected for a film carrying the logo of Image Entertainment, a company that has given grand DVD presentations to some fairly obscure films.

The box cover slaps the incredibly redundant subtitle "Tales of Death" beneath the title, and uses a generic horror design rather than the strikingly campy art work from the VHS version. The main menu carries a different design that not only has no connection to the film, but inexplicably uses an image from An American Werewolf in London. Adding insult to injury, the disk jumps back to the main menu before the closing credits have finished. The film is worth watching if you're in the mood for some campy fun, though, and I doubt we'll be seeing a better version anytime soon.