Jennifer Connelly is 'Just Not That Into You' -- Darnit

I've probably told this story a few times before, but it's a short one so I'll tell it again: I am madly in love with Jennifer Connelly. And I have been since I went to see Labyrinth way back in 1986. Since that fateful day I've been telling anyone who'd listen how amazingly, stunningly, perfectly beautiful this actress is -- and eventually people started believing me. I'm pretty sure it was my door-to-door leaflet campaign that helped Ms. Connelly win her Oscar for A Beautiful Mind in 2002 -- and I did it all without violating that pesky restraining order. (You're welcome, Jenny!)

Ms. Connelly has grown from a fine young actress to a stunningly hot fine actress, and she's done everything from drama to adventure to horror to ... comedy? Well I suppose you could call Little Children a satire, but certainly not a "ha ha hee hee" sort of comedy, so let's dig back a little farther. Hmm, House of Sand and Fog, no. Requiem for a Dream, definitely no. Higher Learning ... she played a lesbian (sigh) but no comedy in there. Dang, I think we'd have to go back as far as 1991's Career Opportunities to find JC's last traditional "comedy." I forgot how serious my Jenny is! (Grr, watch your back, Bettany!)

But here's some great news for anyone who loves Jennifer Connelly as much as I do, but is still legally allowed to go see her movies: She's joining the cast of an ensemble comedy called He's Just Not That Into You for New Line. Based on a book by a pair of Sex and the City writers, the movie will also star some people not named Jennifer Connelly. As if they matter one whit, their names are Bradley Cooper, Ginnifer Goodwin, Kevin Connolly and Justin Long. Oh, and that cutie Drew Barrymore is producing and starring as well. Not a bad little cast; too bad they'll all be upstaged by the flawless, luminous perfection that is Jennifer Connelly.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the flick (which is being described as a "Traffic of comedy") will be directed by Mr. Ken Kwapis, a busy helmer who leaps back and forth from TV to features -- but I'll always remember him as the guy who directed Follow That Bird. (The Sesame Street one; not the Jenna Jameson one.) Production on "Into You" gets underway this September in Los Angeles. If you see me on set, please don't call the cops. I just need three more of Jennifer Connelly's shoes to complete my collection!

P.S. Just in case you needed a reminder of why Career Opportunities is the finest film ever made...