'Jurassic Park 4' to Feature Gun-Toting Dinosaurs?
Filed under: Action, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Universal, RumorMonger, Fandom, Remakes and Sequels
Just when you thought there were no more fantastic, original ideas floating around Hollywood, I give you the latest Jurassic Park IV rumor. According to Bloody Disgusting, Universal is now going through the process of casting for the fourth installment in Steven Spielberg's dino-mite (heh, get it?) franchise. So far Laura Dern has confirmed that she will indeed reprise her role as Dr. Ellie Sattler, while Sam Neill has decided not to touch this piece of dinosaur feces with a ten foot pole. Same goes for Jurassic Park III helmer Joe Johnston. And the plot? The "plot!" Brace yourselves folks, because this one might sting a bit. Here, I'll let BD break the news: "We're told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes."
Um, wow. So are they trying to say that a Velociraptor isn't dangerous enough on its own -- that the thing needs to carry a missile launcher too?! I understand the need to up the ante a bit (because the whole "Oh no, we're lost in a jungle full of dinosaurs" gig has kind of run its course), but do they really think that giving a Tyrannosaurus rex a machine gun ... I can't even complete the sentence without wanting to hit something. Holy crap is this premise absurd. Let me guess: At first, the dinosaurs are kicking some terrorist ass ... until -- oh no! -- they turned on everyone, and pointed their weapons at us! Damn it, I knew we shouldn't have given that Dilophosaurus a grenade launcher. Damn it. Apparently, William Monahan (The Departed) wrote the latest draft, and I assume we can expect Jurassic Park IV to stampede into theaters (guns drawn) sometime in late 2008 or summer of 2009.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
8-13-2007 @ 2:12PM
RP said...
I read a plot synopsis some years back (back when David Boreanaz was rumoured to be involved - is he still? I have no idea) which i seem to remember being about a squad of trained Velociraptors with guns. I'm also pretty sure that it was debunked, unsurprisingly.
Which is why i find this news very unexpected.
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8-13-2007 @ 2:17PM
pete said...
gun+dinosaurs+explosios+(hopefully hot chicks)= summer blockbuster extraveganza!
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8-13-2007 @ 6:53PM
Paul Nicholson said...
Dino-Riders anyone?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinoriders
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8-13-2007 @ 2:26PM
Jonathan Lapper said...
You know Erik, this would normally be ripe for some sarcarsm from me... but... well... there's just really nothing to add. I think you covered it: Dinosaurs trained by the government to carry weapons. Sometimes this stuff writes itself and you just have to stand aside and watch in awe. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go smash my head against a wall in the hopes of inducing amnesia.
Jonathan Lapper
http://cinemastyles.blogspot.com
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8-13-2007 @ 2:43PM
Richard said...
Notice how there is no mention of Jeff Goldblum... could it be that he is not good enou... hahahaha! I couldnt even finish that sentence.
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8-13-2007 @ 3:01PM
Dean said...
Sounds like they may still be going with some of the John Sayles draft of JP4 from a few years back.
In fact. Didnt moriarty over at AICN do a big review of this whacked out screenplay?
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8-13-2007 @ 3:03PM
Dean said...
yeah. He did. Here's a review of the script...
http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=18166
I don't know.. it kind of sounds like crazy fun to me... Rather this than a rehash of the first one over and over again.
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8-13-2007 @ 3:56PM
Rafita said...
And sharks with frikkin "lasers"
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8-14-2007 @ 3:57AM
bongo123 said...
For the love of god... surely someone somewhere had the balls to say "Steven, i love ya, you make great films... but what the feck mate!" or something along those lines.. i cant speak hollywood
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8-14-2007 @ 3:58AM
bongo123 said...
Surely someone somewhere said "steven, i love ya man, you make great films but what in the holf feck are you thinking mate" or something along those lines... i dont speak hollywood
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8-14-2007 @ 3:59AM
bongo123 said...
opps!
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8-14-2007 @ 5:43AM
L.G. said...
I fell in love with the whole premise after reading Moriarty's script review way back in the day and after re-reading it just a few minutes ago, fell in love with it all over again. I'm not being the least bit ironic, either. No, seriously. This could really be an amazing great time at the movies.
I seriously hope that the sheer force of Spielberg and the combined might of Academy Award-winner William Monahan and John Sayles is enough to get Universal to green-light the film as written back then.
I mean, if Universal was willing to flush over 300 million dollars making "Evan Almighty", an unholy melting pot of franchise-hungry studio idiocy, a terrible-sounding spec script, and mega-budget summer tentpole excess, then surely it wouldn't be too ridiculous of them to make a crazy, outrageous 4th entry in an long-established, cashcow franchise like "Jurassic Park". Especially with such stellar credentials to anchor it.
My pick for down-and-out soldier-of-fortune, Nick Harris:
Bruce Campbell.
And if, somehow, casting God, Himself, as Harris can draw jeers because He's too old or too B-List, (F**k you if you honestly think that.) then I would also be willing to settle for Clive Owen, another King of Badassery with acting chops to burn.
Oh, yea, and seeing as Spielberg is currently directing a fourth installment in another landmark adventure series, bring him back to helm this epic.
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8-14-2007 @ 9:22AM
Jessica said...
Umm....Dino riders ???
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8-14-2007 @ 9:49AM
Edgeoforever said...
I'd still go, if David Boreanaz were in it...Otherwise, who cares?
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8-14-2007 @ 11:44AM
Dan said...
I know! The three dinos flying along side the helicopter at the end of JP3 take up residence on the upper east side and the fun antics begin.
Imagine one of them trying to order a cup of Java at Starbucks? I said "a double espresso with worms---not a single"...
They could be hunted down by the Geico Cavemen!
They could play for the Mets!
Oh, the possibilities!
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8-14-2007 @ 2:07PM
Bill Lin said...
Dude, gun-toting dinosaurs? Where's Turok when you need him?
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8-14-2007 @ 8:26PM
Brad DiMarco said...
Erik Davis didn't do his research. William Monahan moved on from this script years ago. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Monahan
Sounds like a disaster of a movie. One wishes William Monahan had written the latest draft.
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8-15-2007 @ 7:46AM
Martin said...
So I am going to assume that Spielberg has absolutely nothing to do Jurassic Park anymore. That this must be owned by Universal.
I know, I know, This is a STRAIGHT TO HD-DVD to save their dying format!
That's it!
htt://blog.mctimages.com
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8-16-2007 @ 10:01AM
Ryan said...
Hey, the question mark in your headline should be an exclamation mark! For serious.
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8-16-2007 @ 3:15PM
DENNIS I. said...
They could do a "drive-by" shooting in Crawford TX.
And I would pay to see the movie.
One question; how do the load the guns??
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