Cinematical

What's so frickin' great about Austin? That's a question I hear all the time -- because I spend a good deal of time there and I love the city allllmost as much as I love Philly. (Yes, Philadelphia. Stop laughing.) Well, you could spend paragraphs talking about Austin's night life, its restaurants, its awesome women and its world-renowned music scene -- but for me it's all about the film festivals. In March it's South By Southwest and in late September it's time for Fantastic Fest, baby, the slickest, screwiest, most user-friendly genre festival this side of the continent. Although only three (3!) years old, FF has already earned a very solid rep among filmmakers, studios and movie nerds.

Although I show up mainly for the scary stuff, FF '06 offered an impressively wide array of cinematic goodies: Abominable, Blood Tea and Red String, Broken, Bug, Edmond, The Fountain, Frostbite, Hatchet, The Host, Isolation, The Living and the Dead, Renaissance, Roman, Severance, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Tideland, Wilderness, The Woods ... plus a surprise screening of Apocalypto with Mel Gibson in attendance. Plus you can drink beer and eat cheese fries while you watch the movie(s)! Sorry but I've been to six Sundances and I never got to eat cheese fries while watching a horror movie. 'Nuff said.

So what does the Alamo Drafthouse have in store for us next month? Well I've only seen a few of the titles, but I did get to offer my .02 to the programmers -- as did SXSW kingpin Matt Dentler and the movielords at Twitch and AICN. So while that's not a promise that you'll love all the flicks, you can rest assured that the slate was constructed by and for the genre junkies. Dig on in...
(Note: Clicking on a title will bring you to the Fantastic Fest / bside.com website, which is where you'll find full synopses, comments, trailers, clips, etc.)

Aachi and Ssipak (South Korea) -- "An animated film from director Joe Bum-jin about a futuristic world powered entirely by human feces. With the government anxious to control this sole, important source of energy, they install special sensors on its citizens' anuses to monitor production, while controlling the populace by distributing addictive popsicles." (Twitch review)

The Beautiful Beast (Canada) -- "Since it was published in 1959, Marie-Claire Blais's chimerical novel La Belle Bête has been considered unfilmable, a wild beast that cannot be tamed - until it came face-to-face with Karim Hussain."

Blood, Boobs and Beast (USA) -- A documentary about Baltimore schlock-maker Don Dohler? Sure, why not?

The Cold Hour (Spain) -- Post-apocalyptic horror with people trapped in a building and various mutants outside. Sold.

Crazy Thunder Road (Japan) -- Apparently this some sort of obscure hardcore violent biker flick from 1980. (Looks pretty wild!)

Death Note & Death Note: The Last Name (Japan) -- A new J-horror franchise. OK, I'll bite.

The Devil's Chair (UK) -- The director of last year's Broken snags another spot in Austin. Plus this one was recently chosen for play at the Toronto Film Festival, so someone's liking what they're seeing.

A Dirty Carnival (South Korea) -- "A Dirty Carnival has been hailed as one of the finest Korean gangster films in recent years, but that really feels like a misnomer. The gang here isn't the point, not at all. The people are." -- Twitch

Dog Bite Dog (Hong Kong) -- From what I've been reading it sounds like one of the harshest action flicks ever made. Nice.

End of the Line (Canada) -- This is one of the movies I vouched for! A very sick and slick spin on religion-based apocalypse. I look forward to seeing it again, actually.

The Entrance (Canada) -- I've read the synopsis twice and I still have no idea what it's about, but Dread Central gave it a rave, so that's worthy of a look in my book.

Exte: Hair Extensions (Japan) -- Yep, a horror flick about killer hair extensions. But a few folks I trust tell me the flick's pretty wild, so color me curious.

The Ferryman (New Zealand) -- A kiwi slasher flick with John Rhys-Sallah-Davies as the killer? I won't even need a beer for this one.

Finishing the Game (USA) -- I caught this very amusing martial arts mockumentary at Sundance, and I think it'll make a perfect fit at FF.

Five Across the Eyes (USA) -- One of my gold-star gimme picks. I've heard much enthusiasm from the Alamo crew over this survival horror flick.

Flight of the Living Dead (USA) -- I saw this one a few months ago -- and I fully expected it to be a chintzy, tacky mess. Nope! It's actually quite the entertaining little zombie flick. Shocked I was.

The Girl Next Door (USA) -- Based on the novel by Jack Ketchum. 'Nuff said.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (Japan) -- Hey it won the Japanese Academy Award for Best Animated Film. And the competition over there is usually pretty fierce.

Hell's Fever (Italy) -- Award-winning Italian monster movie? Yes please. Extra cheese on the fries.

Hell's Ground (Pakistan) -- I kicked myself for missing this flick when it played the Philly Fest. Just another reason to visit Austin this month: a Pakistani zombie movie.

Inside (France) -- See my TIFF review ... if you dare. And see this move if a new sub-genre called 'preggo-horror' sounds like fun to you.

Invisible Target (Hong Kong) -- An epic cop/action flick that the Twitch gang really dug.

Kiltro (Chile) -- Chilean stuntman Marko Zaror steps into the 'action hero' role, and apparently does a very colorful job of kicking villainous ass.

The Last Winter (USA) -- Larry Fessenden delivers a serious, sobering and slyly disturbing tale of psychological horror. Here's Chris Campbell's review.

Maiko Haaaan!! (Japan) -- I've read the synopsis three times, and still I have no idea what the Asian farce is about. So obviously I want to see it.

Mirageman (Chile) -- Yep, another Chilean action flick starring stuntman-turned-actor Marko Zaror. And you know what they say: You can't visit Austin without sampling some Chile.

Moebius Redux: A Life in Pictures (Germany) -- An award-winning documentary on legendary artist Jean Giraud. Sounds cool!

Never Belongs to Me (South Korea) -- The synopsis employs phrases like "sex-maniac murderous feral half man/half tiger," "foxy reanimated cyborg streetwalker," and "shoots bullets out of his robotic penis." See, you just won't find flicks like that at Sundance or Toronto.

Offscreen (Denmark) -- It's not being advertised as a straight horror flick, but then why does the pic from the flick creep me out?

Postal (USA, Canada, Germany) -- Yep, Uwe is back! And with a movie that's actually get some positive pre-release buzz! Weird!

Princess (Denmark) -- A memorably bizarre animated film that deals with surrogate fatherhood, seedy pornography and vigilante-style mayhem. Best to catch it at a festival, cuz I don't see a ton of U.S. distributors brawling over this one.

Retribution (Japan) -- A new J-horror offering that might just offer something fresh!

Sex and Death 101 (USA) -- Winona Ryder reunites with her Heathers screenwriter for this dark farce about an engaged man who's taken to task for his womanizing ways.

Son of Rambow (UK) -- I've lost count of how many festivals I've missed this movie at, but I keep hearing how excellent the flick is. So I'm not missing it this week. See Rocchi's review here.

Spiral (USA) -- After delivering the wonderfully gore-tastic Hatchet, Adam Green returns with ... something different! Joel Moore stars as an office drone who's slowly going down the tubes in this surprisingly effective psychological thriller.

Summer Scars (UK) -- The director of The Last Horror Film proves himself wrong by directing another horror film -- but it's not a typical 'teens wander through the woods' tale.

The Sword Bearer (Russia) -- A man with staggering super powers wreaks havoc on those who were unkind to him.

Taxidermia (Hungary) -- Wasn't my cup of tea when I saw it at the Philadelphia Film Festival, but there's no denying that this stunningly bizarre anthology piece is a perfect fit for Fantastic Fest.

Timecrimes (Spain) -- I'm a sucker for anything dealing with "time travel," and this Spanish import has been getting some rather fine buzz.

Uncle's Paradise (Japan) -- Just another one of those blood-soaked Japanese sex fantasies. Again, where else would you find flicks like this one?

Weirdsville (Canada) -- I was curious about this odd-looking Canadian comedy even before Monika gave it some love.

Wicked Flowers (Japan) -- Fun Lynch-style weirdness. Check out my Philly FF review right here if you like.

Wolfhound (Russia) -- Apparently it's a Russian version of the old Conan the Barbarian tale. Sounds good to me.

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (USA) -- I'm all for foreign strangeness and ultra-wacky action imports, but I was raised on the Slasher Film, and this one makes for a VERY satisfying trip down memory lane. Plus Henry Rollins rocks.

What else? OK, my greedy little genre geeks, there's plenty more:

--Author Mark Schilling will be on hand to introduce a few of the "No Borders, No Limits" offerings: A Colt Is My Passport (1967), Velvet Hustler (1967) and The Warped Ones (1960) will be shown!

--A big, sweaty fistful of secret screenings! (Check Cinematical for the latest -- and trust me, you'll want to!)

--Numerous parties, side-trips and events -- including one geek-tastic trivia extravaganza called Fantastic Feud. And wait till you see the idiot they got to host the thing!!

--A massive batch of short films, which Ms. Kernion will be reporting on VERY soon!

Anyway, Jette and I will be doing the full-court Fantastic press all weekend, so if you're a fan of hardcore horror, insane action, and outlandishly kooky comedy, you know what blog to frequent. (Yes, Twitch. Obviously. But us too!)