Cinematical Seven: Hottest Hunks of Horror

The hunk ... He's a fairly disputed figure in the world of cinema, subjected to the taste and whims of anxious, heterosexual women everywhere. The hunk's popularity is often fleeting -- the beefcake stud for one year is often forgotten by the next. But most importantly, the hunk is entirely, and completely, subjective. One woman's pearl is another woman's stale, salty oyster.

One might argue that some tastes are, therefore, off, but subjectivity and sex are one of the world's big blessings. We don't all lust for the same people, and thus, the earth can stay safe. Otherwise, imagine a world-wide Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered. It wouldn't be pretty. So, what follows are my list of hunks.

I am sure you will question some of my picks, and I will admit -- some don't have the stellar physique that the others do. That being said, each of them have been in horror movies, and they've done their fair share of testosterone bewitching. But this is just my own, subjective taste, which will probably bother and bewilder some. But that's where the comments come in. Share your horror hunks, who have chased, or been chased, on-screen -- extra points if they're a little surprising. This is Halloween, after all, which is all about a world that's just a little different...

Christian Bale

Forget about The Machinist -- I wouldn't start this with bony, sick thrills. Bale's big, hunky foray into horror lies firmly in the realm of American Psycho. Bale's Patrick Bateman is both slimy and perverted, but with his specific beauty routine, Bateman is hunky. Ice packs, 1000 crunches, body scrubs, and protective moisturizing lotions give Patrick the edge, which make him pretty to look at. Sure, he kills people in psychotic and bloody ways, he loves Sussudio a little too much, and he loves to flex and stare at himself in the mirror while having sex, but he's got the physique and all those superficial goodies that make him the perfect hunk.

Watch the trailer for American Psycho ... or head straight to the gallery!

Gary Oldman

Gary Oldman rocked the Transylvanian war hero as Vlad, before becoming the pretty creepy yet highly erotic Dracula in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula. His stint as Mason Verger in Hannibal, well, that wasn't so hot -- I admit it. But then he came back as the seemingly deranged Sirius Black in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and he once again proved that he could take on any visage. Oldman is the chameleon hunk, who relies more on his presence than his look. And yes, I have a weakness for him. I admit it -- I missed key Azkaban info when I watched the movie, because I was too busy staring at his Wanted picture. But you readers would probably prefer him a little more sane-looking and kempt in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Watch the trailer for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix ... or head straight to the gallery!

Timothy Olypant

Before he tried his darnedest to survive against the likes of Dreamcatcher, and I still think he should've been the hero, Timothy Olyphant was the hunky twist in Scream 2. Two years after Billy and Stu went nuts in Woodsboro, Sidney is at college and things go terribly wrong when the movie on her gruesome story hits the big screen. Fellow student Mickey looks to be nothing more than a hunky movie buff, but he found his way into a his own horror story after hooking up with a certain mom on the Internet. He's got the look, the eyes, and the hunky body -- and he's the kind of guy who can make a Santa hat sexy.

Watch the trailer for Scream 2 ... or head straight to the gallery!

Henry Rollins

Including him on this list will probably kill any chance of him ever taking me seriously and becoming my conversation-laden friend, but I just can't help it. (Please forgive me, Henry!) Now he's not a big horror hero, although he co-stars in the recent flick Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, he's definitely an outer and inner hunk. There's no denying his muscles and physique, which are still pretty impressive for a man who is in his mid-40's. It's his brain, however, that really puts him over the top. The whole package, he's got the hunk bits and the head, which makes him the perfect hunky contender.

Watch the trailer for Wrong Turn 2: Dead End ... or head straight to the gallery!

Danny Huston

I'm cheating a little here, since Danny Huston's horror film 30 Days of Night is still a few days away from release, and yes, I admit he doesn't look to be the hottest in it. I'm ignoring the drool and the icky teeth they gave him for his role as the tough vamp Marlow. Sure, he isn't as hunky in the film as he in in real life and other movies, but if he retains half of the charisma he had in The Proposition while being dirty and hairy, some of the hunk should still shine through.

Watch the trailer for 30 Days of Night ... or head straight to the gallery!

Justin Theroux

Yes, I already included American Psycho and Christian Bale, but to leave either Bale or Justin Theroux off this list wouldn't be right -- they both have the physique and the classic hunk appeal. His role as Bateman's cohort in American Psycho might have been brief, but he's hunky nonetheless. You might remember his deranged, taught muscle frame from Charlie's Angels. If you want to see more of him in the horror realm, there is also his starring role in The Legend of Lucy Keyes. Although it was widely ignored, it stars Theroux and Julie Delpy, so it can't be all bad.

Watch the trailer for American Psycho ... or head straight to the gallery!

Christopher Walken

Believe it or not, this final inclusion is completely serious. Before co-starring with my man Elias Koteas in The Prophecy (which produced a few crappy sequels that he starred in as well), Christopher Walken was Johnny Smith in The Dead Zone. I was barely more than a tot when I first saw the film, but Walken quickly became one of my favorite men, sucking me in through David Cronenberg's adaptation of Stephen King's novel. He's the unique, haunting hunk, and he's definitely only for certain tastes. Now if only he would star in a horror dance movie...

Watch the trailer for The Dead Zone ... or head straight to the gallery!