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There's too much symbolism
I realize that this problem can largely be laid at the feet of George Romero, and I'll accept that, but every time I watch a Romero movie I feel like I'm being smashed in the face with the symbolism bat. It's not that he's an unskilled filmmaker -- although some have argued as much after seeing Diary of the Dead -- it's just that he's all-too-eager to use his zombies to advance whatever cause he wants to flog at the moment. Zombie movies are about ... racism. No, wait, zombie movies are about ... consumerism. No, no, the threat of nuclear war. Actually, go back to the first one -- they're about racism. Diary of the Dead, which I haven't seen, apparently uses zombies to set up the argument that there's too much reality TV. Has it come to that? I realize that zombies make a good catch-all, unlike, say, vampires, but there's a point where enough is enough. No more zombie message movies.
There's no growth in concept
No growth whatsoever, going back even before Bela Lugosi in 1932's White Zombie. One of the few interesting things about Resident Evil: Extinction was that it featured a subplot wherein the evil scientists try to reverse the zombie status of a zombie. They try to make him learn and regain some the cognition of a normal human -- but even this has been done before. Hell, the notion of zombies emerging from the fog of zombiedom has even been done by George Romero. What else have you got? The 28 Days Later films make zombies run fast and take care to not call them zombies, but that's hardly groundbreaking stuff either. Maybe the most innovative zombie movie I've seen in the last few years, Joe Dante's Homecoming, did something a little intriguing -- it gave the zombies a political motivation and had them intent on going to the voting booth. But even this is campy, and brushes up against my problems in point number one.
Michael Jackson ruined everything
The zombies in Thriller were scarier than most of the zombies in today's zombie movies, and that's a big problem. If you go back and watch John Landis's landmark short film/music video, you'll see that an enormous amount of attention to detail is paid to the makeup and the whole approach of the zombie horde. I admit the whole werewolf element is lame, and the werewolf makeup is atrocious -- is he supposed to be half wolf, half cat or something? -- but the zombies themselves are made up in an appropriately scary old-school horror mask style, with thick latex-covered faces and believable funeral wear and the whole nine. Whatever it is, it works. In contrast, one of the hallmarks of recent zombie films, like the 28 Days Later movies, is to barely let you see the zombies. They flash in and out of the frame or attack in such a way that you can't examine the lameness of the total zombie look. Who needs that?
What about skeletons?
I think every zombie movie should have to set up its own rules to explain why it's not a big remake of Jason and the Argonauts. I'm no expert on human decomposition, but any person who has been dead for more than a year would almost be certainly skeletonized, so why don't these skeletons come back along with the rest of zombies? Yes, I've seen the movies and I know they sometimes use the caveat "the recently dead are walking the Earth!" but they don't say why. What is it about having a few pounds of dead flesh on your bones that causes zombie reanimation? I'm not pointing this out to suggest that I'm smarter than zombie movies, I'm making a sort of follow-up to my second point. If there were more thought put into exactly what a zombie is and what it's instincts and basic properties are, that might be some grist for new thought and new ideas for continuing the genre.
No More 'turning'
Werewolf movies and vampire movies were exhausting the dramatic possibilities of monsters biting people and turning those people into monsters long before zombie movies became popular. The concept is completely played out, as evidenced by the fact that people at my recent screening of 30 Days of Night were cackling during what was supposed to be a dramatic moment -- one of the characters, bitten by the vamps, starts to give a big speech about his problem, and how something will have to be done about it. Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before, pal. I'd like to see a zombie movie that makes a definitive break from this 'rule' or whatever you want to call it. Let there be a finite number of zombies so that someone can do something about the problem and we can all get on with our lives. Let's also point out how little sense it makes that the undead have the power to turn others into undead. How can the living go straight to being undead?
Follow the logic
It's often been said that the core appeal of a zombie outbreak is that it portends the apocalypse, and I agree with that, but we rarely see much follow-through on that theme. Zombies have, for the most part, been ground down into standard-issue whack-a-mole monsters. This especially applies to the 28 Days Later and Resident Evil films. Yes, I realize that those films include a nuclear or biological apocalypse that leaves nothing but a wasteland (and zombies) but I'm talking about the biblical apocalypse. The dead rising from their grave. When's the last time you saw a zombie movie that actually took into account the pure psychic trauma such an event would cause and the mass hysteria that would ensue? Can you imagine CNN announcing a zombie outbreak? There would be a war in the streets in, like, five minutes. I want to see that movie. It would be a lot more interesting than having zombies preach to us about shopping to excess.
Even when it works, it's depressing
My favorite zombie movie is 1993's Return of the Living Dead III, from director Brian Yuzna. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. But even though that movie worked on me, it was extremely depressing. The message of the film is essentially "F--k humanity," which, when you think about it, is the whole message of zombie movies in general. Vampires and werewolves are abberations -- typically one or a handful of diseased individuals and never the dominant species, except in some comics and a few high-concept films. They are outsiders. But the threat of zombies is that they always seem on the verge of success -- of wiping out humanity completely or reducing it to what they represent. For a zombie film to work on me at all, it has to rise to the level of RLD III -- it has make me feel like the world is one big oven that we're all about to be cooked in. Is that why I go to the movies?
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Cinematical Seven: Disney's Awesome Live-Action Kid Adventures
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
10-25-2007 @ 9:11PM
Italian Sausage said...
Ok... how about Shaun of the Dead or Fido? Technically both zombie movies, just smart.
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10-25-2007 @ 9:23PM
Subwoofer said...
how on earth can Return of the Living Dead part 3 be your favorite zombie film? Try Romero's films for that title. Once I read that line in your article, I completely disregarding everything else.
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10-25-2007 @ 9:40PM
Scott K said...
I actually agree. I don't much care for zombies. I have enjoyed some of them fro the action, but zombies as a concept is pretty boring. I've always wanted a new idea in zombie movies too. I've only really enjoyed Shaun of the Dead, and to a lesser extent the newer Dawn of the Dead.
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10-25-2007 @ 9:42PM
Buxomia said...
Okay, the cinematical seven is something I tend to look forward to. Mr. Stewart, I'm sorry to say I will never be able to take you seriously ever again. Every single one of your points is basically debunked in the first five minutes of the original Dawn of the Dead. I'll try to make this quick, but I need to touch on each "point" you make...
1 - Too much symbolism? I'm sorry, are you searching for symbolism in all horror flicks because I'd hate to be you. You must not have any fun at the movies.
2 - No growth in concept? I'm sorry, but aren't we still following the cookie cutter film of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back in almost every romantic film that comes out? Vampires, werewolves and zombies have perfect formulas. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
3 - "Thriller" is the greatest music video of all time. And Michael being a hybrid cat/werewolf just reflected his future of being a hybrid white woman/black man. Jonathan Landis is just that brilliant.
4 - What about skeletons? What about the fact that most zombies are freshly dead? They drop, they stand up.
5 - The turning is the best part of the zombie flick. Imagine watching your mother die, her eyes glass over and as her brain dies, she goes from recognizing you to wanting to eat you. This is perfectly portrayed in Shaun of the Dead.
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10-25-2007 @ 9:46PM
Buxomia said...
I don't mean to spam but I have to finish this...
6 - Follow the logic. CNN reports are portrayed in Shaun of the Dead. The first few min of the original Dawn has a debate about what to make of the whole situation. There's pandemonium in 28 Days Later (which is, technically, a film about disease, not zombies) and Resident Evil is a series of awful video game movies which makes them exempt.
7 - It's depressing? How uplifting was United 93? And it was based on a true story. Zombie films remind us that we're still animals, no matter how invincible we may perceive ourselves to be.
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10-25-2007 @ 10:18PM
Gordon Werner said...
I liked the remake of Dawn of the Dead. It made sense that the fresher the corpse ... the more quickly it could move. Plus it makes them a lot more frightening ... if you cannot out run them then your chances of living diminish.
As for why skeletal remains don't get up and move about ... no muscles. no muscles no movement (never mind the fact that bones don't stay attached w/o connective tissue (whether decayed or fresh)
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10-25-2007 @ 11:42PM
Clare said...
ok i'm not a zombie expert but i think you need a brain to be a zombie, hence the whole destroy the brain - destroy the zombie. plus how can you move if you don't have muscles? and you should read world war z by max brooks. i think it's scarier then most zombie films.
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10-25-2007 @ 11:50PM
valentine said...
I don't like you.
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10-26-2007 @ 12:09AM
Anthony said...
Ryan, you obviously need to read world war Z by Max Brooks.
I can only hope to hell that the movie by the same title (in pre-production) will live up to the pure awesome that is that book.
And as far as 'turning' goes, the bite kills them. Once dead, they re-animate. The bite alone doesn't turn them. It merely kills them.
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10-26-2007 @ 12:20AM
Brendan said...
The upcoming World War Z movie, if anything like the book, should hopefully address some of these concerns
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10-26-2007 @ 12:43AM
The Addict said...
"What about skeletons?"
That's not my problem, I sleep now.
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10-26-2007 @ 1:26AM
gike said...
and what about 'The Serpent and the Rainbow'
it is about zombies and completely different from all the others...
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10-26-2007 @ 2:09AM
Erin P. said...
George A. Romero is a remarkable film maker. Your disregard for his legacy is deplorable.
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10-26-2007 @ 5:33AM
bongo123 said...
George A Romero was a remarkable film maker, yes he give us some classics which unfortunately have dated all to hell and his recent Land was a total abomination and from what im hearing about Diary, not much as changed. No The more recent ones, i.e. the Dawn remake, 28days, shaun & the class Fido are all more worthy of praise and far better zombie flicks than Romero's offerings, hell even the Resident Evil movies are 10times better than his latest movies, well apart from Res2... There is a welath of great Zomb books out there and as has been said before World War Z would make an excellant movie but the scope of it is too large for film, i think the Autum Series would be better suited or the brilliant graphic novel series the walking dead would be much better to turn into movies.
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10-26-2007 @ 7:44AM
cc said...
Hmmm...Everything I've read and heard about Dairy of the Dead has been positive. Strange?
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10-26-2007 @ 8:28AM
Eric said...
First off bongo123 you should be prevented from having children. Secondly, its an usually unspoken rule that Zombies are sustained by the consumption of human flesh.
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10-26-2007 @ 10:04AM
Joshua said...
Yes you should read "World War Z" expecially before the movie Being produced by Brad Pitt's Plan B studios, also if you want another great zombie story "the Walking Dead" Graphic novel is fantastic,It is more about the human element and how people cope while the zombie apocalypse is upon them, or play dead rising on the Xbox 360 to gras an understanding about swaming. as for some of your points in this article one of the scary things about zombies is the fact that they hoard, one zombie isn't a difficult monster but a thousand zombies and your up sh*ts creek. skeletons dont have a brain and zombie's need the brain to function thats why one good whack with a crowbar or a good headshot does the trick. you should get used to the 'Z' they are the poeples new Monster of choise.
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10-26-2007 @ 10:07AM
bongo123 said...
oh come of it, Romero is well past his sell by date, the original series are bloody awful to watch today and as for this crap about symbolism running through his movies.. jeeze he's as bout as subtle as 1000lb car bomb and handles it in all his movies like some kid, nah i love zombie movies, have pretty much every book i can find on the subject, have about 3 fecking versions of Dawn of the Dead but i cant watch them anymore, the best thing about dawn of the dead which I'll give him credit is the sense of urgency, of the world literally falling apart he conveys in the first 5-10mins of it is absolutely spot on and sets a great tone, unfortunately the rest of the movie just looks to old and dated to be worthy of repeat viewings, unlike say Alien or the Thing. You guys all need to crawl out of Romeros arse, he isn't some God, hell have you even read his first script for Day!?? i mean seriously WTF was that all about... and Land just confirmed it to me, that the guy made some great horror movies back in the day but cant make shit nowadays.
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10-26-2007 @ 10:13AM
bongo123 said...
heck i remember talking about 10 mates into going to see Land at the cinema, got the wife into Zombies and everything and halfway through that piece of shite we all got up and left and i got the proverbial piss taking out of me for ages and the wife cant for the life of me understand why i always raved about Romero, dude let me down big time with that film... thinking bloody zombies WTF!!!!
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10-26-2007 @ 10:45AM
Robert Hubbard said...
Obviously, you wouldn't care for the zombie musical/political satire SONG OF THE DEAD then... http://www.songofthedead.com
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