Cinematical

To give you an idea of what kind of horror I like, I'm into the stuff that scares you, not shocks you. Which is why I'm a huge fan of the original Halloween, directed by John Carpenter, because the film cares more about creeping you out (with its themes of isolation and sense of dread throughout), then it does packing on the gore. In fact, there's very little blood in the original Halloween, which is pretty amazing considering it's widely known as one of the best horror films of all time. Which brings us to Rob Zombie's 2007 "re-imagining" of the original Halloween, simply titled Halloween. I watched this DVD with two horror junkies, and the line that spewed out of our mouths the most was: "See, now was that really necessary?" Was it necessary for his family to be a total cliche of "white trash" to the umpteenth degree? Was the whole "bullied as a kid" storyline necessary? Was it necessary to have two Smith's Grove workers raping a patient inside Myers' cell (a scene in the unrated cut)? Actually, was it necessary to abuse almost every single woman in this flick, mentally and physically? Was this entire film necessary at all?

In defense of Zombie, a lot of Halloween fanboys have always wanted to see more of the Myers mythology. More of Myers as a kid, more of Myers' relationship with Dr. Loomis at Smith's Grove -- more of Myers as a character versus Myers as a random guy in a mask who kills people. Zombie provides all that background info in this film, some of which is very successful (like Myers' obsession with making masks). But too much time is spent with Myers as a kid (played by Daeg Faerch), and while this time definitely helps build upon the Myers character (and mythology) it sort of lessens the overall scare factor -- because, in the end, do we really need to be BFF with Myers in order to watch him kill people? It's like Zombie created two films -- one a family drama, one a slasher flick -- and neither really worked.

You already know the drill (and have read our review of the film) so I won't go into many details: As a kid, Michael Myers had problems; his family was sh*t and he liked to kill small animals. Eventually he upgrades, kills his older sister, his stepfather and the sister's boyfriend -- gets sent to a mental hospital -- hooks up with a child psychologist named Dr. Loomis, breaks out of the hospital and goes in search of his baby sister on -- you guessed it -- Halloween (which also happens to be the anniversary of his original kills). There it is in a nutshell. Zombie re-created some of the scenes from the original, but a majority of the film is new school Myers; a Myers with character, a more human Myers. A guy you actually care about ... but a guy you don't want to care about and never wanted to care about in the first place.

The two-disc Unrated Director's Cut is pretty packed with extras. First off, I never saw the original theatrical cut, and so a lot of the scenes I had major problems with were added here in the extra 11 minutes or so of footage Zombie had to cut due to (I imagine) his need to get the film down to an R rating. Because the new stuff -- or at least the stuff I've been told is new after complaining about it -- is pretty harsh, disgusting, insulting and ridiculous. Like Myers' break-out scene, which in this cut featured two hospital guards grabbing a female patient and brutally raping her in Myers' cell, while trying to get him to join in. I'm serious. WTF? Why did we let Rob Zombie get a hold of this thing again?

The one high point on these discs is the sound (Dolby 5.1), but the transfer is a tad messy. Best part of the extras, believe it or not, are the bloopers -- which feature Malcolm McDowell cursing like a nutty Englishman, flirting with Zombie's wife (Myers' mother, the stripper), and cursing some more. Was he really that lit the entire time, or did it just appear that way? Other extras include a bunch of deleted scenes (some of which add to the story, some don't), casting sessions, screen tests, a featurette called The Many Masks of Michael Myers (which focused primarily on the many masks of Michael Myers) and a featurette on Re-Imagining Halloween with behind the scenes footage and whatnot. Interestingly enough, there's also an alternate ending which actually serves as a better ending than the original theatrical cut. It's shorter, more to the point, but Zombie left it out because he wanted more of an arc for Laurie. Thus, the final scene racing through the house, over the balcony and yada yada. I kind of understood where he was coming from; then again, I don't feel he achieved what he wanted to with the ending he went with.

Halloween (the Rob Zombie version) isn't a horrible horror film by itself, so long as you've never watched the original and don't care to. But alongside the original Halloween, it's like bubblewrap: it's fun when it pops, but after that you've got nothing but a mess to clean up.