Review: Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem

The Strause Brothers -- or Brothers Strause, as the directing duo insists on being called -- have created a weirdly meta film in Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem. I can't recommend it as a good movie on its own merits, stocked as it is with cardboard cutout characters and a barely coherent plot, but it's miles more interesting than the last Alien vs. Predator film and fans of the Alien and Predator film series may find it so strangely reference-heavy as to be entertaining on at least one level. This is a movie that starts out with the premise of 'Several Aliens and a Predator invade a small town' but ends up as a partial rehash of Aliens, complete with undisguised Ripley and Newt clones trying to escape an impending nuclear explosion via air transport and military guys getting picked off one at a time. It references entire shot sequences from Predator and a major plot device of Predator 2. It even references Yutani (!) in such a way that if you don't know what that is, you won't have a clue what's happening in the scene.

The first five minutes of the film that were released online before opening weekend turn out to be a poorly edited version of the film's first ten minutes -- that 'plot stuff' is trimmed down considerably -- and we get to see an Alien-infested Predator ship crash into the woodsy hills of Colorado while a father and son on a hunting trip look on in wonder (wouldn't you?) Pretty soon Dad's arm is being melted off by Alien acid blood and Junior has a face-hugger attached to his face, in a nice bit of non-family friendly killing. The main idea of the film will be to have one Predator arrive in Colorado to face off against several Aliens. It's a good choice, since the Predator is easily humanized, but once that decision has been made, why do the Strauses devote so much of the film to setting up bland human interactions? The title isn't Aliens vs. Predator vs. Humans, after all. If the film was truly brave, it would eschew a human perspective all-together, and simply deliver what the title promises.

The Strauses come from a special effects background, having supervised effects on such blockbusters as Terminator 3, 300 and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and the effects in this film are above par, even though the action is shot too close and with too much lightning-quick editing. I'm not asking for some wrestling-match style establishing shots, but when you're filming in the dark to begin with it's already hard to tell who is slicing and dicing who, and the Michael Bay style cuts don't help me get a clear picture of who is winning an Alien vs. Predator battle. Also, the Predator's bag of tricks isn't much improved, as one might hope. The Alien pretty much is what it is -- if you're going to innovate, you need to do it with the Predator, giving him all new tools and new capabilities that we haven't seen before. There are a couple of things on that level, but mostly what you get in this film is the same Predator you've already seen in three movies prior.

Give the Strauses credit for throwing in an unexpected kill here and there -- one in particular involving a lead character that I really wish the red band trailer hadn't given away! -- but the R-rating isn't really taken for a test-drive nearly as much as it could have been. There's one scene in particular that screams out T&A but then inexplicably backs off just like a PG-13 film would -- was there some tussling over exactly what the rating would be that far into production? Apparently so. Also, the Alien is starting to get a little boring in general, and this film does nothing to halt that decline. It hisses, it hops around, it squawks and snaps its wet jaws -- okay, I think we got the idea by Alien 3, didn't we? As I said before, I realize that this character can only suffer a little bit of development, but as an audience member I'm perfectly within my rights to ask: why should I continue to care. If the Aliens ever return, I want to see them domesticated or something else outrageous.

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem -- what a lumbering title -- falls squarely into the category of 'could have been a lot worse and I liked the part where X, Y, Z.' There are enough good moments sprinkled throughout to keep you from feeling like you've been ripped off and the mega-serving of references -- I kept waiting for Bill Paxton to lean into the screen during the end credits and say "Movie over, man. Movie over!" -- to keep franchise fans moderately entertained. That said, I'm ready to call time on this whole series. There aren't going to be any more stand-alone Predator movies and the Alien doesn't deserve any more stand-alone movies, and the monster battle idea has now been played for all its worth. It's time to put these two franchises to bed for at least the next twenty years, unless someone can somehow get Sigourney Weaver and Arnold Schwarzenegger to agree to co-star in the next installment. If someone can swing that, I might be willing to invest another ten bucks.