Cinematical Seven: Men We Shouldn't Love
Filed under: Fandom, Cinematical Seven

I have a problem. As a moviegoer, I'm always attracted to charisma over deed. More times than I can count, I find myself rooting for the bad guy and hoping that they bring the bland hero down. Of course, sometimes it's a fight between hero and villain for who has the most charisma, and sometimes the film wants us to love the villain, but whatever the case, the thorn is usually a lot more fun than the hero he's stuck onto. And this means that I'm often disappointed at the end, because the bad guy almost always dies.
Still, this is what's so great about film -- you can love the baddies without the real-world consequences. We've all heard about bad-guy lust, but this way, the baddie can do his bad thing for us to enjoy, without us getting all of the negative repercussions. We get the wild eye without the body count, the ripped muscles without the steroid set-up, and the twisted humor without the reality.
However, seeing that bad guys are my kryptonite, it's hard to pick just seven. While the following is, by no means, all-encompassing, it's a list of some of my favorite baddies. Some we're told to love, and others, well, they just steal the show.
Jason Dean -- Heathers
This is probably what started it all. When my friends and I gathered around the television to watch Christian Slater's new movie, we were immediately smitten. We didn't care that J.D. had a thing for doling out his own deadly justice. By the time he said: "Alright, so maybe I am killing everyone in the school... because nobody loves me!" We were exclaiming: "We love you!" J.D. had the drawling, Jack Nicholson voice, the sexy trench, and the need to row out to the middle of a lake somewhere with a bottle of tequila, his sax, and some Bach. He was very. Very very.
Captain Jack -- The Pirates of the Caribbean Series
Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow is not someone you really want to be involved with, mainly because he can't be trusted, but the one thing you can count on, and trust -- he's got more charisma in his tiny pinky nail than Will Turner had in his whole body. One stolen kiss with Jack should not be the lusty, romantic high point of the series, but it was. This was the biggest flaw of the films -- the epic love affair wasn't even close to epic, and a momentary look at Jack would hold more attraction than even a smooch-filled, romantic scene between Elizabeth and Will.
Arthur Burns -- The Proposition
Filmmakers get tricky when they start showing us the ultimate bad guy's morals and fervor. After a deadly, bloody beginning and a lot of dust and somber moments, Danny Huston burst into the film with Irish charm and character. Of course, he is the most notorious outlaw of the Outback, one with a heavy, violent hand, but the mirth in his eyes and love for his family added an irresistible humanity to the film. In a dishonorable lifestyle, Arthur Burns lives by a certain code of honor -- one that even follows through a drastic and deadly ending.
The Thin Man -- Charlie's Angels I & II
The Thin Man was the filthy tease of the Charlie's series. After starting off as the anonymous man with lots of fighting talents and a penchant for stealing and sniffing hair, Thin Man became a killer with a back story, and the best sort of bad guy for Drew Barrymore's Dylan Sanders to fall for. And then, well, the jerks behind the scenes got really jerky and did away with both hotties from #2. But still, Glover stole the show as Thin Man, and while I wouldn't have cared if Charlie had to find new angels because the others all met early deaths, what they did to Thin Man just wasn't right!
Patrick Bateman -- American Psycho
Yeah, the muscles are nice, but Patrick Bateman doesn't win this contest on looks. He does so with his taste in entertainment. It takes a special man to pull off: "Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercial and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humor." Between that, his dancing, and his need to look at himself while having sex, I'd watch Christian Bale's American Psycho 2, 3, 4, and 5.
Vincenzo Coccotti -- True Romance
Really, this could be any Christopher Walken movie where he plays a bad guy. He's just that kind of tasty baddie. However, Coccotti is one of my favorites. It might be creepy to hear "I'm the Anti-Christ. you get me in a vendetta kind of mood, you will tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen pure evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you." But we're talking Walken, and he's a guy who can make cowbell fever sound cool, so he makes it work... And he makes it work irresistibly well, which is why I never mind a little Walken typecasting.
Ivan Korshunov -- Air Force One
This was originally a toss-up between this and Gary Oldman's Norman Stansfield (Leon). Why did I choose this? Well, this would be the first bad guy I cheered for that wasn't supposed to elicit cheers. He was a mean, cold-blooded killer, but Gary Oldman's performance just wiped the floor with Harrison Ford. It wasn't very patriotic of me to cheer on the bad guy, but Ivan was just so much better than President James Marshall. His intensity, charisma, Garyness. Just like Walken, he's just made to steal scenes.
Special, Most Honorable Mention: The Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail -- any bad guy who can fight while losing his important appendages is worth a nod.
There's my seven... What are yours? Are you a sucker for Michael Wincott? Hans Gruber? Voldemort? Sound off below.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
2-12-2008 @ 10:20PM
MCW said...
I have a couple from movies I've recently watched, in which I liked the bad guy.
Jigsaw from the Saw Series (His backstory in IV helps his case a bit). He's a smart murderer :)
Russel Crowe in 3:10 to Yuma. This film warmed me up to this guy, I used to despise him. He is likable in much of 3:10, I reckon.
I'd list more, but I haven't seen a lot of clear cut, bad-guy good-guy movies lately.
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2-12-2008 @ 10:22PM
Stacy said...
Ahhh Monika! I'm glad I am not the only one who fell for Jason Dean. No one I ever knew understood my obsession with JD. Back then, guys hadn't registered on my radar till I saw that movie and I was smitten for bad boys since. :)
"Our love is God"
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2-12-2008 @ 11:02PM
pinsleric said...
Let's get a slushee
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2-12-2008 @ 11:06PM
pinsleric said...
that was meant as a reply to #2's quote
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2-13-2008 @ 2:47AM
Hedwig said...
Oh, I have so many. Sean Bean in pretty much any baddie role he's been in, Alan Rickman in, well, any baddie role too... And going back a little further, Orson Welles in the Stranger is a nazi, so definitely not a good guy, but he's irresistible.
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2-13-2008 @ 3:27AM
MSaavik said...
I'll second Sean Bean and Alan Rickman and add David Warner, also in pretty much any villainous role, but particularly as John Leslie Stevenson (aka Jack the Ripper) in Time After Time. But my favorite of all time has to be Jareth, the Goblin King, as played by David Bowie in Labyrinth.
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2-13-2008 @ 6:18AM
MCW said...
Forgot about Sean Bean. He's really good at being a bad dude. I especially liked him in The Hitcher.
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2-13-2008 @ 7:50AM
lisa said...
Oh Sean Bean for me .. he is so naughty and sexy lol love him
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2-13-2008 @ 4:19PM
honey said...
Oh my goodness. I thought I was the only one totally into Gary Oldman in Air Force One. He really did outshine Harrison Ford in every way in the film. It came on recently here in D.C. and I found myself watching it again (for the millionth time) just to hear Gary say the line "...I am holding his wife, his daughter, his chief of staff, his national security advisor, his classified papers, and his baseball glove...."
Classic Oldman.
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2-13-2008 @ 5:26PM
Aberdeen said...
Sean Bean works for me.
But I also love Gary Oldman as Zorg in the 5th Element. Ah, so evil, so silly!
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2-14-2008 @ 10:10PM
Jessica Dillon said...
I remember watching the first Charlie's Angels with a bunch of the senior girls in my high school class. Anyways, most of them starting "awwww"-ing when Sam Rockwell smiles shyly at Drew Barrymore, but it wasn't till he tosses out the good guy vibe and starts in on the revenge kick that I sat up and took notice.
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