Hot Docs Review: Be Like Others

There is one moment in Tanaz Eshaghian's Be Like Others that starts by plucking at our insistent hopes for happiness. Hungry for love and affection from his family, Ali Askar tells a story about being thrilled when his father insisted that Ali have breakfast with him. While it was such a simple action, it was one with insistence that Ali had never seen before. This act seemed full of the loving camaraderie and acceptance that the young man had dreamed of. His father poured them tea, but Ali refused to drink it; he realized that this wasn't a warm act of fatherly love. This wasn't a breakthrough moment in their relationship. Ali's father was trying to kill him with rat poison. His father would rather kill his son than allow him to get the sex change that he yearns for.

But it is more complicated than a transsexual wanting a sex change. In Iran, this matter is complicated because homosexuality is punishable by death, and transgendered lifestyles are not an option. However, sex changes are not only permitted legally -- they are also subsidized by the government. It is this strange path of religious, political, and social ruling that Eshaghian focuses on in Be Like Others. She does not argue the particulars of this strange rationale, but rather shows the life and world of those who live it -- lives that reveal a flawed and chilling system for dealing with differing gender preferences and sexuality.

Twenty-five years ago, Ayatollah Khomeini released a fatwa allowing sex changes for Iranian individuals who have been diagnosed as transsexual. Not even three decades later, there is only one nation that performs more of these operations (Thailand). The problem is that since homosexuality is illegal, there is no real and defined line between those who truly feel that they are a woman (or man), and those who get the surgery to be accepted by society. For the latter, this act means to solve the strict gender divide -- existence as a feminine man among men isn't socially accepted, and law denies these people the option of working alongside women. The sex changes also means finding a way to pursue one's sexuality and desire in a manner that is deemed acceptable and legal.

So, in their desperation, they get sex changes. What's really hitting about this documentary is that it isn't a hard-edged, critical look at the system. Eshaghian skillfully explains the situation and lets her subjects battle about the rights and wrongs. There is Vida, the post-op woman who acts like an opinionated mother hen to the young men struggling over this decision -- someone who sees this practice as a purely transsexual right, not a last-ditch effort for the men and women in between these binaries. There is Ali, who desperately wants to feel love and acceptance from his family, but also cannot fit into the life allowed him. There is Anoosh, who adores his boyfriend and just wants to be accepted on the streets and be free to express his love and sexuality in an accepted form. There is Dr. Mir-Jalali, the surgeon who has performed hundreds of these operations.

Taking the viewer through the initial meetings with the doctor, explaining the social and religious rationale, discussing the family dynamics of this decision, and investigating the aftermath of such a huge change, Eshaghian offers a documentary that respectfully shares the world of these young Iranians. There is no need for slick transitions and cinematic flair. The power of Be Like Others is the story. These people are searching for something simple, something that most of us take for granted every day -- the right to be happy, accepted, and loved.