Fan Rant: Moviegoing Rules We Can All Agree With

I totally agree with everything you said. It seems to me that the talking in movie theaters is getting worse. The last five or six movies I've seen I've had to go to the ten A.M. showing because the night shows contain some of the most irritating people on earth. I had to yell at some kids who came to saw Juno and were publicly disappointed it wasn't another Superbad. And when I saw WALLE there was a guy in front of us who thought we were kicking his chair, which honestly we weren't, got up and cussed us out and threatened to beat the shit out of us IN A KIDS MOVIE with his kid sitting right beside him.

And I am one of those people who wants to hear the trailers and my opinion is that once the lights go down the talking stops.

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Children in R-movies happen all the time in South Florida, and I seriously can't understand what is going through the parents' heads when they bring them along.

It's even worse when there are children in R-movies *after* 10pm at night, because then you're wondering just how horrible these parents really are... Bringing your 4/5-year old to 'Saw IV' isn't winning points with others, folks.

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Gotta disagree with you on a few of these, Scott. I think trailers before movies qualify as commercials and I see nothing wrong with chatting during the trailers. Go watch them online if you want silence and concentration, dude. Also, I don't always watch trailers so I am probably one of those people who gasps during the scene you saw dozens of times (I haven't seen the trailer for "The Strangers" either). Remember, lots of moviegoers aren't as insanely devoted as you are to following every aspect of movie marketing.

I've given up fighting hard about the pre-movie commercials (although I try to avoid theaters that show them) and I'd be happy if they'd just turn the volume down -- they're too loud for me to have conversations with my friends. So then we have to talk during the trailers ... hmm, maybe solving one problem can solve another. I don't like talking during the movie, though, and kids who obviously aren't engaged in a movie should be taken away to go have ice cream or something they'd enjoy more.

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Tweeners and text-messaging during the movie - stop it. I know the movie was just an excuse for you and your friends to get out of your parents' houses, and that you care less about what's happening on the screen than about the scholarly back-and-forth between you and your co-texter over the rich and detailed plotlines of The Hills, but the light from your iPhone (which you are way too young to deserve) is blinding me. And the clicking from your typing - you might as well be popping bubblewrap because its just as annoying. Detach it from your hand and fight your extremely short attention-span for 90 minutes. Thank you.

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If your cell phone audibly rings DURING the movie, you will be beaten. If you ANSWER it and talk, you will be shot.

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A corollary to Rule A: Shouldn't there be a time limit for toddlers too? I went to see a screening of Wall-E that started after 10 PM (hoping to avoid kids) and there were tons of toddlers there.

I agree with Clint, although it's not just teens. I was in a movie the day after the iPhone came out and the dude in front of me was REALLY excited to check his email-- every freaking five minutes. I know it's quiet but it's like a damn spotlight, people.

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I agree with most of your points, but the kid thing is definitely a case by case situation. I was taken to see Robocop when I was six and didn't make an ass out of myself. It was an early afternoon showing, however.

I might also add a rule about cell phones, my biggest pet peeve in theaters these days is all the idiot teens texting on their phones, but instead of keeping the screen low and out of sight, they hold it up in front of their face. It's like they just HAVE to show the audience that daddy bought them an iPhone...

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Well even my 4 y/o ( who doesnt see anything over PG) knows when the lights go down, we are quiet. and she does it. so if she can i would expect any adult to be able to.


and if i pay 7.50 or more to see a movie, i should be allowed to see the trailers in quiet. it is part of the experience. if you wanna give everyone else a couple of dollars, feel free to talk, or go home and watch the movie in your home theater.

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First, my quick comments on what you said:

A: Though I have to agree, I do realize that some couples simply can't afford the movie AND the babysitter, especially with what babysitters want to charge these days. ($15 won't get you much of anything.)

If they are the only ones with small children there, they should sit on the aisle so exits will be much easier if necessary.

B: Totally agree.

C: For me, it depends. The debut of a brand-new trailer? Be quiet. A trailer that's been played ad naseum? If the theater isn't full (There aren't people right next to you.), then I think it's okay.

D: If the moment from the trailer is genuinely great, I still respond, especially if the context of the entire scene makes the moment that much greater. This is especially true of comedy. I mean, I laugh at comedies when I rewatch them. Why not that part?

E: Yes, this is fun to listen to.

F: Could advertisers just start sponsoring trailers and show their logo right before it and right after it?

G: Yeah, it looks like a fair sometimes.

Other things we should all agree on:

1. The cellphone. There's the obvious (thou shalt not talk on it), but there's the lesser followed rule of checking with your companion or group of friends that they each turned their phone off. (Friends don't let friends ruin movies.)

2. Don't claim both armrests.

3. If you're coming in late to a movie, I'll forgive you. But if you're coming in late WITH concessions, you're on my bad list.

4. If a friend is running late to meet a group of friends, one of them should go meet him/her and lead him to the others. I'd much rather have two people climb over me than someone wander in, stand at the bottom, look around aimlessly, and have someone in the audience waving frantically.

5. Most theaters don't sell things that open noisily, but if they do (or you brought something in), open it either before the movie or during explosions/laughter.

6. You can suck the bottom of a cup at a restaurant, but don't do it in the theater.

7. If you're leaving during the credits and something comes on during them, make sure you aren't standing in the way of people that are still seated.

That's all I've got for now.

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Even my 4 Y/O daughter knows, when the lights go down, we are quiet ( she only gets to see G movies). so if she can follow that simple rule, adults (who ar emature enough to handle PG-13 and up), should have no problem.

also if i pay 7.50 or more for a movie ticket. i am there for the movie theater experience. unless you want to refund a couple of dollars to everyone else in the theater you have 2 choices, STFU, or go home and watch it on your Home Theater.

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I would also give kids and toddlers a pass on the bargain matinee showings before noon.

I'm more irked by people who wander into the theatre 2 minutes before showtime, then are shocked when they can't find 6 seats together, and loudly demand people move over and make space for them. You all want to sit together? Show up early. :P

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I don't like them, but I also don't mind when commercials are shown before the start time of the movie. That is, if you're at a movie that's scheduled to start at 7:30 and they're showing commercials at 7:15, it's not that big a deal. If they start showing the ads at 7:30, that's bullshit.

Another annoyance--AMC Theaters do this--is jacking up the sound volume on the commercials and trailers. It's unbearably loud. Much louder than the actual movie.

I don't mind kids in R-rated movies if they're behaved. I saw Beverly Hills Cop when I was 11. Of course, that movie was rated R for language, and there was no language in that movie I hadn't previously heard from my dad while he was working on the house. If there are small kids watching Saw, that's bad parenting.

And no texting on your phone. I don't care if it's quiet, those illuminated cell phone displays are annoying in a dark theater.

Don't ask people to move when you arrive late with your party of 12 people who all want to sit together. I get to the theater early because I want to sit in the middle of the row. Okay, if you have four people and you're asking me to move one or two seats over, no big deal. But it's rude to ask someone in the middle of the row to move five seats down and give up their center seat.

Either watch the credits or get up and leave. Don't stand up to leave and hang out in front of me. Yes, I want to see the credits. This is especially annoying when you get up to leave then there's extra footage over the credits and you just stand there. Sit back down or get out. I'm going to start wearing cleats to the movies so I can employ a technique I use when opponents continually foul me in soccer games. A good hard cleat to the back of the calf brings a person down and lets them know you've had enough of their crap.

I just woke up and I'm not a morning person, so ranting comes naturally at this hour.

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AMEN Clint.

I actually was at a showing of "The Strangers" (I know, I should have known better) when the girl directly in front of me started texting. I was willing to let it slide once (maybe her friend was outside or something?) but when she repeated I had to do something.

I leaned forward just enough to be head level with her but out of her vision and asked "Hey what's so important?" Given the nature of the film, she screamed like a banshee and then told me to "Shut up" in a valley-girl esque moment. I calmly told her to go outside to text.

The rest of the movie she resorted to hunching over herself shielding the light from her phone in her own body mass. I had to give her an A for effort, but seriously you can't let the text slide for 90 minutes.

I'm seeing Dark Knight tomorrow and I will totally loose it on any tweener who flips open the cell phone.

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Just a supplement to point B. If you must say something, then WHISPER!!! How can people not know how to whisper? I thought it was just an innate skill that we all instictively possess...like suckling and smiling and breathing. Unless, of course, the offending parties are so egotistical as to think that we all could benefit from hearing what they have to say. That couldn't be it, could it?

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I remember leaving Saw 3 and all these kids between about 6 and 10 were walking out of it with their parents. It wasn't just one family, either. Beverly Hills Cop? Sure. Torture porn? No.

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I think you take it a bit to easy on people talking. If you can't follow the plot line, then maybe you should see something more your speed. If you don't understand why Assassin A is turning on Gov't Stoolie B then maybe you should stick to the Scary Movie series. There is absolutely no reason to talk during a movie (unless of course the house is on fire). It drives me insane when people ask, "Who's that?" or "What's he doing?" If you don't know that means you missed something or perhaps the answer hasn't been revealed yet. Let the movie play out and ask your questions after. No talking period.

As for cell phones, TURN THEM OFF. Don't silence them, turn them off. Most cell phones light up when called and those lights are very distracting in a dark theater. Also, a lot of people don't know how to properly work electronics and there is some mode that will make noise (perhaps an unknown number or a picture mail). Avoid the risk of being that a**hole and just turn the damn thing off. 99% percent of movie goers aren't important enough that they need to be in constant communication with the outside world; you can take 100 minutes off.

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I don't so much take issue with someone talking during the movie, but at least do it at a whisper so it seems you have some consideration for those around you. It's kind of like if a tree falls in the woods and nobody's around to hear it, does it make a sound? If you're talking during the movie, but nobody other than the person you're talking to can hear you, do you make a sound?

It's when people speak to one another casually and at normal volume I have a problem. That is inconsiderate.

One of my biggest personal pet peeves is when I'm one of the first people in the theater for a movie that isn't going to be close to sold out, and the handful of other subsequent moviegoers feel it necessary to sit within a three foot radius of me. I'd think they'd want their space too, at the very least.

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I'm not trying to offend anybody, but I know this has happened to some people. The situation that I write below really annoys the hell out of me and actually caused me to walk out of the theatre a couple of times.

We do not need director's commentary from people who come from the ghetto side of town. We do not need commentary or a discussion on every damn thing that happens in the movie or every time you get startled or suprised in the film.

This goes for white trailer trash and minority ghetto thugs (male and female). You have every right to go to any theatre you want, but leave your poor ass habits and attitudes in your poor ass neighborhoods.

You can't even try to "shush" them or even tell them to shut the hell up, because this will cause them to make an even bigger ruckus. And by the time any authority figure decides to step in and take care of the problem, the audience had to endure 15 minutes of bullcrap from these people and miss the movie.

Critcize me as you want, but this irks me more than any cellphone, child, texter, or anything else in the theatre.

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Agree with the above rules. Especially the kids. I purposely waited to see Sweeny Todd, just so I wouldn't be disturbed.

I like seeing films in more empty theaters, because if no one's there, no one will laugh, scream, gasp, or any other reaction that ruins the experience for me.

I found a fairly fool proof way to do it, too: go to a movie in the middle of the day. I mean the real middle of the day: 12:00 noon. All the little brats are at school. There's no lines at concessions or tickets. I saw Pirates 3 that way, and Iron Man, and Transformers. Actually, Transformers is a bad example, because nothing could have improved that pile of crap. I even saw WALL-E at a noon showing, thinking kids wouldn't be there, but also forgetting it was summer vacation. But that one was okay, because there was such little dialog, that I didn't miss much. I'll still go again in a few weeks, because I know I missed some things.

But I have three more rule to suggest: Don't clap at the end. Seriously, what are you thinking? Have you forgotten the people on screen can't see or hear you?

And what's wrong with being quiet? Would you chat with your neighbor or start texting or take (or even worse and I've seen it, dial) a phone call at a funeral? That's right, you wouldn't. Treat a movie like a funeral. Better yet, your own funeral, because you wouln't be talking at all in that case.

Dating couples: get your hands off each other. You make single people like myself feel annoyed and sick and lonely and inaddequate all at the same time. So just stop it.

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