Teen Choice Awards Offer Chance to Laugh at Teens' Poor Taste
Oh, teenagers. We grown-ups might mock you for your questionable taste in entertainment, fashion, and slang terms, but secretly we remember that we were once just like you. Some of us legitimately thought, back in the days of our own youth, that Gremlins was the greatest film ever made. So who are we to laugh at you when you vote Step Up 2 to the Streets (pictured) best movie drama of the year? You'll be embarrassed by that decision years from now, and you'll make fun of the teenagers who, in the year 2018, are selecting Saw XV: Still Sawin' as best drama. The 10th annual Teen Choice Awards were held last night in L.A. and will be televised tonight on Fox. Miley Cyrus was the host, and early word is that she managed to stay clothed the entire time. As mentioned, Step Up 2 the Streets won the award for "choice movie drama." (They say "choice" instead of "best," perhaps as an acknowledgment that no one really thinks this movie is the best; it's simply the one they've chosen.) The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian won for choice movie action-adventure, and Juno won choice movie comedy.
The rest of the movie-related awards, courtesy of the Associated Press, are after the jump. Should we have given a spoiler warning? Are the people watching the show tonight hoping to be surprised by the results? We face ethical dilemmas like this when awards shows are pre-taped. Anyway, the winners:
Choice Movie Action Adventure: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Choice Movie Drama: Step Up 2 The Streets
Choice Movie Chick Flick: 27 Dresses
Choice Movie Bromantic Comedy*: What Happens in Vegas
Choice Movie Comedy: Juno
Choice Movie Horror/Thriller: I Am Legend
Choice Summer Movie Action Adventure: Hancock
Choice Summer Movie Comedy: Get Smart
Choice Movie Actor Drama: Channing Tatum, Stop-Loss**
Choice Movie Actress Drama: Keira Knightley, Atonement
Choice Movie Actress Action Adventure: Rachel Bilson, Jumper
Choice Movie Actor Comedy: Ashton Kutcher, What Happens in Vegas
Choice Movie Actress Comedy: Ellen Page, Juno
Choice Movie Actor Horror/Thriller: Will Smith, I Am Legend
Choice Movie Actress Horror/Thriller: Jessica Alba, The Eye
Choice Movie Villain: Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Choice Movie Breakout Female: Ellen Page, Juno
Choice Movie Breakout Male: Drake Bell, Superhero Movie
* What is a "bromantic comedy"? It's like a "romantic comedy," except that voters will think that's the same thing as "chick flick," for which there's already a category. So they call it "bromantic comedy" as a means of reassuring male voters that they're allowed to vote, too.
** I would bet money that very few of the people who voted for this actually saw the film, considering nobody saw the film. I'm guessing the thought process was that Channing Tatum is hotter than the other nominees, so he gets the award.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
8-04-2008 @ 5:07PM
flowers said...
Wow! You can never underestimate the poor taste of high schooler's (because, you know, they've got everything already figured out!). This is why arts and drama need to be re-instituted into schools.
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8-04-2008 @ 5:22PM
NvM said...
I agree with Johnny Depp and Ellen Page winning their random awards, but having I am Legend, Jumper, The Eye, and What Happens in Vegas nominated for anything is laughable.
MTV movie awards weren't as bad as this.
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8-04-2008 @ 5:32PM
Aaron said...
Are you trying to say that Gremlins is NOT the greatest movie ever made???
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8-04-2008 @ 6:09PM
Ronnie said...
Those choices are quite honestly pathetic, and as a 16 year old girl I am insulted by the poor taste of my generation.
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8-04-2008 @ 7:36PM
Stephanie said...
So am I and I am 15 but of course I don't even like the jonas brothers
8-04-2008 @ 6:24PM
jake said...
I can't imagine Step up 2 winning best anything, i honestly thought it was one of the worst movies I've seen all year. I thought I might enjoy it because I enjoyed the first one but brianna evan is simply awful and it was just one of the most unenjoyable movie experiences i've had all year.
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8-04-2008 @ 6:39PM
HermyG13 said...
Less than a year for me and I'm finished with the term 'teen'. Ronnie, I completely agree with you. It definitely upsets me to see the crappy tastes of our generation.
At least Keira won for Atonement... :)
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8-04-2008 @ 6:52PM
jordan v. said...
I constantly find myself disappointed and saddened by the lack of good taste in culture that my generation has. I want to give myself a facepalm every time I see young people going to see dreck at the theaters. I'm 17 and this is very disheartening.
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8-04-2008 @ 7:35PM
Sam said...
As a teen I almost take offense to these awards being entitled the Teen Choice Awards. What teen enjoys Miley Cyrus? I am, however, happy that well done genre films such as I Am Legend have a place to be recognized but at the same time how much recognition is it when you're sharing awards with Superhero Movie? I can't help but wonder whether Daniel Day Lewis was even nominated for the "Choice Movie Actor Drama" category (I'm guessing no). Lastly, Ellen Page winning the "Breakout Female" award? Didn't any of you kids see Hard Candy?
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8-04-2008 @ 11:52PM
Adam said...
The Teen Choice Awards = Fail.
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8-05-2008 @ 2:08AM
dude said...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bromance
1. A non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close.
-verb -mans-ing
1. The act of wooing a fellow male friend for the purpose of becoming closer.
2. Going to unusual lengths in an attempt to become closer with another male friend.
also: "Bromancing the Stone"
1. The act of truly and thoroughly enjoying the process of getting and/or being high/stoned.
Provenance/Origin: "Bromance" is a portmanteau of the two words "brother" and "romance". Originally coined by author/editor Dave Carnie in "Big Brother Magazine." Big Brother was a sort of R rated skateboarding/skate culture magazine that was eventually purchased by Larry Flynt's Hustler conglomerate and consequently taken out of circulation due to unsatisfactory sales performance. Carnie used the word on several occasions to describe relationships between skate-buddies who spent a lot of time together and/or shared hotel rooms on every tour/skate road trip.
-As a noun: "Dude, those two guys spend so much time together. They are having quite the bromance."
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8-05-2008 @ 3:50AM
AJ Wiley said...
Hey now, Gremlins rocks. No comparisons to Step Up 2 the Streets, okay? ;-)
Well, the Juno and Sweeney Todd awards were nice. The rest was a sad, sad state of affairs.
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8-06-2008 @ 12:32PM
Kenddy said...
I haven't watched all of those movies (I don't go to the movies very often) but I'm reasonably sure that Step Up 2, at least, did not deserve to get an award. o_o It had nice dances, sure, but it definitely is not a 'best drama' sort of thing. o_0
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