Fan Rant: Academic Failure
Filed under: Action, Documentary, Drama, Foreign Language, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Awards, IFC, Magnolia, Warner Brothers, Fandom, 20th Century Fox, The Weinstein Co., Comic/Superhero/Geek, Remakes and Sequels, Oscar Watch, Miramax
"Oh, good grief, it's Oscar."
--Lucille Bluth, "Arrested Development"
(The following post is written to the tune of Bruce Springsteen's "The Wrestler," which was not among those nominated for Best Original Song when the 81st Academy Award nominations were announced earlier today.)
Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
We'd call 'em by another name, the Academy
Have you ever seen a piece of pap that they all wouldn't eat?
If you've ever seen that Crash, then you'd agree.
Then you'd agree, The Dark Knight should've had more of a shot
Then you'd agree, Gran Torino deserved to go home with naught
Then you'd agree, I'm struggling to come up with just one more bon mot
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
We sure as hell would've asked for a whole lot more
Couldn't Let the Right One In have been recognized outside of Foreign?
If they'd even seen that movie, then they'd agree
Didn't The Reader leave most of these guys snorin'?
If they'd stayed up for this movie, then they'd agree
Then you'd agree, Dear Zachary... shouldn't have been snubbed from the start
Then you'd agree, The Fall was a tremendous work of art (direction)
Then you'd agree, they left off Gommorah too, old fart after old fart
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
We really would've asked for a whole lot more
Those nods that have comforted me, I drive away
For all of Milk's attention, I just cannot feel gay
The snubs here and there have caused far too much dismay
Have you ever seen a year where AMPAS actually got it right?
I'll plan to watch something else that February night...
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
1-22-2009 @ 12:45PM
cough said...
Well.
The Oscars always suck.
Reply
1-22-2009 @ 12:54PM
Clark Parker said...
Very clever, Goss... I dig it.
Reply
1-22-2009 @ 3:31PM
Mike Ferraro said...
They left off Gomorrah for good reason.
But Dark Knight? Right One In? Bruce Springsteen? How can you not nominate the boss... that's just ridiculous.
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1-22-2009 @ 1:07PM
William Goss said...
My alternative with Gomorrah was to try and work something in about Cloverfield's visual effects.
1-22-2009 @ 1:09PM
The Playlist said...
Let The Right One In is actually eligible next year, btw.
Reply
1-22-2009 @ 1:13PM
William Goss said...
How so? Maybe if Sweden submits it as their best foreign language contender, but as it was released in the US this past year, wouldn't it have qualified for technical categories if they saw fit to nominate it?
1-22-2009 @ 1:15PM
The Playlist said...
[*"The motion picture must be first released in the country submitting it no earlier than October 1, 2007, and no later than September 30, 2008." Tomas Alfredson's film didn't come out in Sweden until October 24, 2008]
1-22-2009 @ 1:23PM
William Goss said...
I mean eligibility in categories other than Foreign Language. I realize that a country picks one title to submit on its behalf.
Besides that, can this movie not still qualify for any other category on its own American release this year?
"ELIGIBILITY IN OTHER CATEGORIES
In order to qualify for other categories, the motion pictures must be publicly exhibited by means of 35mm or 70mm film or in the digital format specified in Paragraph II.A for paid admission (previews excluded) in a commercial motion picture theater in Los Angeles County, for a run of at least seven consecutive days, beginning between January 1, 2008, and midnight of December 31, 2008."
1-22-2009 @ 1:37PM
William Goss said...
How else did City of God get nominated for Direction, Editing, Cinematography and Writing but NOT Foreign Language?
1-31-2009 @ 1:10PM
The Mutt said...
Everything they got wrong is made up for by the fact that they nominated Melissa Leo.
And honestly, TDK wasn't that good.
Reply
1-22-2009 @ 6:50PM
Daniel said...
I was so excited for this year. One of my favorite actors is hosting, and TDK looked like it would get some nods, along with some great songs, etc. But now Hugh might be the only reason to watch, and if that's it, why not just watch the highlights the next day?
I knew AMPAS was snobby and political, but I didn't think it would be this bad. They deliberately snubbed if not the best film of the year, then at least one of the top five, simply to engorge their own egos. They even kicked Doubt to the curb in the Best Picture race, which is better than Kate Winslet Naked Again I mean The Reader. How prideful can you get? The Oscars should be a celebration of all the movies of the year, not an exclusive club for historical epics and melodrama. It's going to be very awkward if anyone mentions the second-biggest film of all time. BTW, if Titanic can win, why not TDK? And Mutt - the best-reviewed film of the year? The one that will shape moviemaking for years like LotR did before it? "Not that good"?
They did catch Melissa Leo, Richard Jenkins, and Michael Shannon, but still...
Just recently they had like twenty Dreamgirls songs nominated, but this year they stop at three? Why not let two more get the chance, especially Springsteen. I was looking forward to Clint Eastwood and Jamie Cullum, too.
But since Let the Right One In might get nommed next year (it should win Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay, Actress, and Actress, but you never can tell with these consistently out-of-touch relics.
On a brighter note - Go Slumdog Millionaire!
Reply
1-24-2009 @ 9:42PM
Saverdonk said...
ELIGIBILITY IN OTHER CATEGORIES
was possible for "Let the right one in" (35mm in LA for 12 weeks) but neither the production company or the distributor completed the paperwork to the Oscar administration. Simple as that and it's a shame.
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1-23-2009 @ 8:19AM
Tracy Gruber said...
Gran Torino is the best film I have seen all year at least Clint Eastwood's performance is the best i have seen all year; I can't believe Clint Eastwood didn't get nominated for anything! The academy got this wrong!!!
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1-23-2009 @ 8:25AM
Suzanne said...
The Dark Knight is a well made film with great performances. I wouldn't expect for the snobs and HUTAS of the Academy to get it, since it derives from a graphic novel. As the JOKER would have said, "....and they didn't disappoint."
TDK should have had more shots at the Golden Globes also but at least some recognition is going out to Ledger's performance. It will be nearly impossible to have someone else step forward to recreate the Joker.
Reply
1-23-2009 @ 12:44PM
Dan said...
This is pretty freakin' hilarious. I am seriously offended about no Springsteen, TDK and Gran Torino snubs, but the fact that most of us are all in agreement about our anger makes me feel a lot better.
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