Lists I Like: Ten Ways to Kill John Connor
Filed under: Action, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Thrillers, Warner Brothers, Fandom, Comic/Superhero/Geek, Remakes and Sequels, Lists
I must confess to having never before heard of the web site Topless Robot -- a self-proclaimed bastion of "nerd news, humor, and self-loathing" -- but they appreciate the likes of Scott Pilgrim, and I in turn appreciate the likes of "10 Helpful Suggestions for Killing John Connor," which is exactly what it sounds like.Author Shaun Clayton scours the entire Terminator mythos, from the small screen to the Bale blow-up, to produce a list that might sound thuddingly obvious, but proved a great deal more observant and amusing than I'd have thought. Just to give two examples (so as not to spoil ALL the fun): #10 says "Send All The Terminators Back in Time" (I know, right?!) and #3 goes with "Use the Time Machine to Cheat" (the logic here follows that of the Bill & Ted films -- look, you're either with this or not).
So that's that, your nifty link for the day. Thanks to John Merriman for pointing it out; he will thusly be spared when I send the robots back to eliminate anyone whose last name even has an 'r' in it (that's Suggestion #11, and you can keep it).
If you were in charge, what would be the best way to finally kill John Connor?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
2-05-2009 @ 10:15AM
The Taylorman said...
Cant you post the list... i dont think my work would like me going to a place called topless robot.
Reply
2-05-2009 @ 11:03AM
Andy said...
I think Mr. Clayton misses the point of the 1980s action movie entirely. This is almost like saying that, when the bad guy goes after the good guy with a machine gun, a bazooka or a cannon, he should automatically hit the target.
Things just don't work that way in any franchise rooted in the 1980s. John Connor can't die. For that to happen, you'd need someone like Ron Moore to reimagine the whole thing first. All you have is McG.
Granted, there is the TV show (The Sarah Connor Chronicles) and it's kind of brilliant, but it's brilliant mostly because it respects T1 and T2 as it translates them into good science fiction, not because it necessarily allows its evil robots to kill their targets.
Anyway. You get my point.
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2-05-2009 @ 10:53AM
William Goss said...
I'm pretty sure he mocks because he loves, Andy.
2-05-2009 @ 3:19PM
juwan808 said...
Kill Sarah's Grandmama. If 1980's technology was pathetic against the Terminator, then going back to the 60's would be cake.
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2-05-2009 @ 3:19PM
jmchez said...
Considering that James Cameron wrote the line, "Nuke'em from orbit; it's the only way to make sure." I can't believe that they haven't tried or explain that one; all the dumb terrorists in 24 know that.
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2-05-2009 @ 3:19PM
j said...
Send a girl robot back to seduce him, and somehow she electrocutes him to death.
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2-05-2009 @ 3:19PM
Yoda's House of Pancakes said...
At the risk of sounding like an uber-nerd, here's my reasons why both John Connor and Skynet cannot be destroyed by either going into the past or preventing the future:
1)If the robots go back in time and successfully kill John Connor, then he would not exist in the future to begin with. Thus, they would have no motive to go back into the past and kill him.
2)If Sarah Connor were to successfully stop Skynet from creation, then Kyle Reese would never go back in time and accidentaly impregnate her. Thus, John Connor would never be born, the Robots would take over, a Universal paradox would wipe out existence, my head would explode from tryingto figure all of this out, and Basil from the Austin Powers movies would have to step forward and say, "Relax, it's only a movie."
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2-05-2009 @ 9:55PM
Jim said...
That's an awesome reference! I just watched that part of Austin Powers the other day (the second movie I believe) and laughed when Basil and Austin Powers looked at the camera in reference to how confusing time travel is and that it's just a movie, so relax.
:-)
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