Cinematical Exclusive: The Changes in Store for the Oscar Ceremony!
Filed under: Awards, Oscar Watch
The producers of this Sunday's Academy Awards telecast have been vocal about their intentions to change some things about the show. But apart from hiring a non-comedian, Hugh Jackman, as the host, they've been silent on what those changes might be -- until now! Cinematical has obtained an exclusive look at some of the surprises in store for Oscar viewers this weekend, and we're pleased to share a few of them with you here.- Just for laughs, the "In Memoriam" montage will feature several people who are still alive.
- The audience seat-fillers were all recruited from Burbank's homeless population.
- If Heath Ledger wins the Oscar for his role as the Joker in "The Dark Knight," it will be accepted by Cesar Romero.
- You know how the president of the Academy always comes out and gives a long, boring speech about goodness-knows-what, and you take that opportunity to go to the bathroom? Well, stay put, because this time he's going to be set on fire.
- No more courteous orchestra music to cue long-winded award recipients, as the stage now has a trapdoor.
- The show will be broadcast only in Spanish.
- Rather than requiring the orchestra to learn the theme music from every nominated film and be ready to play it at a moment's notice, every winner will be accompanied to the stage by "We Are the Champions."
- Special surprise presenter: Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat.
- A tiny camera will be affixed to Jack Nicholson's sunglasses, ensuring the home audience of a constant view of Salma Hayek's cleavage.
- The announcement of the big winner, Best Picture, will be dragged out for 45 minutes by Ryan Seacrest.
- To increase the potential for drama, Angelina Jolie will be seated next to Jennifer Aniston, Alec Baldwin will be seated next to Kim Basinger, and Michael Moore will be seated next to a pie.
Tom Cruise and J.J. Abrams Reunite for 'Mission Impossible 4'
'Big Top Pee-Wee': The Original Benicio Del Toro Wolfman
Spin-ematical: New on DVD and Blu-ray for 2/9
Watch This: Brilliant Oscar-Nominated Short 'Logorama'
Chris Nolan to Lead 'Superman' Reboot!?
_thumbnail.jpg)
_thumbnail.jpg)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
2-19-2009 @ 12:18PM
Mike said...
That was pretty lame.
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 12:24PM
Marek Hryc said...
That pie doesn't stand a chance!
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 12:36PM
aaron said...
cesar romero died in 1994.
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 12:40PM
ThePlaylist said...
@Mike. yes, very.
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 12:46PM
Erik Davis said...
I love how The Playlist shows up on Cinematical only when he/she wants to complain about or critique something we wrote. What is your problem? Seriously.
Snider - I think this is hysterical, btw.
2-19-2009 @ 12:57PM
ThePlaylist said...
I think you guys are good, i just think you should drop the humor as i feel it hurts your site. That's my honest opinion. That's what my "problem" is. i assume you also don't comment on blogs and websites when you're totally ok with everything that's written. Keep up the good work,but lose the corny humor.
2-19-2009 @ 1:23PM
Erik Davis said...
I guess that's what separates ourselves from your site then -- from time to time we welcome the corny humor. If it's not for you, then it's not for you. But we strive to be a little bit different and a little bit funky here -- that's our thing. You can always scroll down to the next post.
2-19-2009 @ 2:06PM
FutureColumnist said...
Forget what Playlist said. The humor ISN'T always for me, as you say, but it's better to have flavor that some readers like and others don't than no flavor at all. Completely flavorless movie news is for IMDB.
2-19-2009 @ 12:44PM
Erik said...
I enjoyed it. I want a pair of "Jack glasses."
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 1:01PM
Jonathan Kuhn said...
This was all worth it for the joke about the Academy president being set on fire.
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 2:02PM
Sam said...
Michael Moore next to a pie? There's no drama. We all know what's going to happen.
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 2:35PM
Brian said...
A very, very small fraction of my respect for this fantastic website died with the posting of this list.
Reply
2-20-2009 @ 5:21PM
Greg said...
Ceasar Romero did not die in 1994 he can be seen giving commentary on a batman documentary that went out in 2005
Reply
2-19-2009 @ 8:56PM
Randy Tayler said...
Fantastic column. A fun-filled romp for the whole family!
Reply
2-20-2009 @ 10:09AM
Edgar Lipsey said...
Great point, Playlist. Nothing like some dead-in-the-water news and commentary to make a website just the same as every other boring news source. Heaven forbid Cinematical would stray from that fantastic formula.
Reply
2-20-2009 @ 11:16AM
BGW said...
@aaron
Maybe that was part of the joke
Reply