White House Live Blogs the Oscars

President Obama watched his first Academy Awards from the White House last night. Following in the footsteps of last week's well-received liveblogging of the President's first foreign trip, a White House New Media intern was invited to liveblog the event from the First Family's private quarters. The post was quickly pulled, but Cinematical obtained a partial transcript.

8:33 p.m.: First Family arrives, takes the best seats. Unidentified staffer: "Great to see a gay man hosting the Oscars." POTUS kindly corrects: "That's Hugh Jack-man, not gay man."

8:47 p.m.: Penelope Cruz wins for Best Supporting Actress. POTUS calls Spain's President Zapatero to express congratulations.

9:07 p.m.: As expected, WALL-E wins Best Animated Feature. POTUS dozes off.

9:25 p.m.: First Daughters begin giggling when vampire from Twilight appears.

9:32 p.m.: Ben Stiller's appearance concerns POTUS. "When did the Night at the Museum guy become Orthodox?"

9:43 p.m.: POTUS and First Lady confer about sending girls to bed during James Franco / Seth Rogen stoner skit.

9:51 p.m.: Hugh Jackman begins another musical number.

9:52 p.m.: POTUS sneaks into kitchen, where the staff is watching the Cleveland Cavaliers crush the Detroit Pistons. Go LeBron!

10:21 p.m.: Final: Cavs 99, Pistons 78.

10:32 p.m.: POTUS amused by Will Smith.

10:46 p.m.: Surprised and delighted by Jerry Lewis' brevity; POTUS figures Congress could learn a thing or two.

10:50 p.m.: POTUS asks, "Where's Springsteen?" Upon being notified that he was not nominated this year, POTUS heads to kitchen to watch SportsCenter during presentation of music awards, returns in time to tap his toes to "Jai Ho."

11:08 p.m.: POTUS calls Japanese Prime Minister to express congratulations on the victory by Departures as Best Foreign Language Film.

11:10 p.m.: High-level staffers (i.e. First Lady) convince POTUS that Waltz with Bashir or The Class should have won. POTUS appoints a Presidential Task Force on Foreign-Language Academy Award voting.

11:13 p.m.: Everyone is moved by touching Queen Latifah song during "In Memorium" montage. POTUS wonders why Heath Ledger wasn't included.

11:39 p.m.: Adrian Brody praises Richard Jenkins as an actor he had to Google. POTUS dozing.

11:47 p.m.: Sean Penn wins Best Actor, gives shout-out to POTUS, who nods his head sleepily and heads to bed with First Lady.

11:52 p.m.: Staff convenes to divide up money from Oscar pool.