Discuss: Funniest Edited-for-TV Movie Scenes
Filed under: Fandom, Home Entertainment
There was a time back in the day when I had no other choice but to watch the edited-for-TV version of movies, and whenever I'd get to a great little foul-mouthed R-rated gem, it'd be too painful to sit through. The way they'd chop it up and replace classic lines with sentences that made no sense whatsoever in real life or within the context of the movie. Now, however, I've grown up and rarely watch a film on network television unless there's absolutely nothing else on or I'm in the mood to laugh.
That's right, these days I actually get a kick out of watching the edited-for-TV version of my favorite movies. Why? Because while their ridiculous edits used to make me cringe, now they just crack me up. Take, for example, this scene from The Big Lebowski below. Walter (John Goodman) shows up to bash the car of a dude he thinks wronged him, only to wind up smashing up the wrong set of wheels. And during his tirade, his character says things like, "See, Larry, this is what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the a**." However, in the edited-for-TV version, that turned into "See, Larry, this is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps."
Huh? What? The alps? Where do they even come up with this stuff? Check out the scene below, then tell us what your favorite edited-for-TV movies are. Is there a particular scene you remember as being so chopped up, it didn't even make sense when it aired? Sound off below ...
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
3-04-2009 @ 4:07PM
Rivndellelf said...
I love watching Mallrats on TV.
"He tried to date her some place uncomfortable."
"Like the back of a Volkswagen?"
Classic.
Reply
3-04-2009 @ 4:11PM
AndyIII said...
Die Hard II
Completely and utterly hilarious.
"yippee kay-ay Mister Falcon"...said by someone REALLY really NOT Bruce Willis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j9oYYRJY2U
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3-04-2009 @ 4:24PM
Wendy said...
Hahaha! Awesome. It sounds like a mobster version of Bruce.
3-04-2009 @ 4:46PM
The Colonel said...
Dude, you so beat me to the punch on Die Hard 2. Admittedly, not the best film on it's own merits. But with the added bonus of hilarious word substitutions and the worst Bruce Willis impersonator anyone has ever heard, that just puts it over the top. The movie is somehow more enjoyable this way!
3-04-2009 @ 4:45PM
jeff said...
Why do they dub yipee kay ei?
3-04-2009 @ 4:12PM
Mike said...
I always thought it was kinda funny that they edit out the shot of Spicoli and the other stoners falling out of the smoke-filled van before the dance in Fast Times. Doesn't even show them smoking weed, just a bunch of smoke.
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3-04-2009 @ 4:18PM
Joseph J. Finn said...
The TV edit of Breakfast Club is pretty classic.
"Do you slip her some hot loving affection?"
"Flip you Claire! Flip you!"
Reply
3-04-2009 @ 4:21PM
Jonathan Kuhn said...
No scenes to add, but I love The Big Lebowski one. Classic.
Reply
3-04-2009 @ 4:34PM
Cincinnati Mike said...
Two that come to mind are Pulp Fiction and Goodfellas, as neutered on AMC every other Sunday afternoon.
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3-04-2009 @ 4:34PM
Darone said...
Hot Love and Affection has always been my personal fave
Reply
3-04-2009 @ 4:38PM
Joe W-M said...
Gotta be Repo Man -
"Mellon Farmer"
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3-04-2009 @ 4:40PM
Paul said...
Predator, when Arnold throws Carl Weathers up against the wall and yells "It's all bullshit, isn't it!"
The censored version is an absurdly poorly dubbed "It's all baloney, isn't it!"
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3-04-2009 @ 4:55PM
Dave said...
I'd have to nominate Good Will Hunting in its entirety. Not only do the NUMEROUS edits not make sense, the ADR voices don't remotely match. It's worth watching every time ABC airs it.
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3-04-2009 @ 4:56PM
Kevin Kelly said...
One of my faves was Police Academy 1 or 2 when I was a kid. The real scene has Tacklberry pointing a gun in a guy's face and saying "Don't move or I'll blow your god damn head off, asshole!" The edited version was, "Don't move or I'll blow your gosh darn head off, eggroll!"
Eggroll. Nice.
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3-04-2009 @ 4:59PM
Mike said...
My favorite has to be in Resident Evil: Apocalypse when Mike Epps says "mota vator please"
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3-04-2009 @ 5:02PM
Ben said...
I gotta say 'The Matrix'–the scene where they pull that worm-robot thing out through Keanu's bellybutton. One j.c. initial phrase is swapped for another: "Jesus Christ!" turns to "Jeepers creepers! What the hell is that thing!"
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3-04-2009 @ 5:03PM
carina said...
The infamous "trout for brains" comment, one of many, on Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
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3-04-2009 @ 5:12PM
Batzarro said...
Kill Bill Vol 1:
They actually changed the font in the keys and van to say "Party Wagon" instead of "Pussy Wagon". Plus, "My name is Chuck...and I'm here to party" doesn't quite have the same ring to it. You know what? "Forget" that!
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3-04-2009 @ 5:20PM
Baron Von Doren said...
I remember seeing Cheech and Chong's Next Movie on TV vack in the 80s and instead of looking for a bag of Thai Sticks, they were always looking for diamond chips! It was ridiculous!
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3-04-2009 @ 5:30PM
Batzarro said...
Also, Sopranos suffers a lot from this. As seen i this parody.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp4QVYNAFcQ
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