Are These Summer Movies Guaranteed to Bomb?
Filed under: Animation, Comedy, Horror, Independent, Fandom, Newsstand, Movie Marketing, Summer Movies
I don't know about you, but I've barely warmed up this year, yet already I feel inundated with thoughts of summer, thanks to our friends the movie marketers. Bowing to the inevitable -- after all, everyone shops for board shorts and bikinis in the spring, not the summer, right? -- my attention was drawn to "Top 10 Summer Movies Guaranteed to Bomb" in Coed Magazine.
Since that site features some images that are NSFW, I'll list a few here with my comments and encourage you to check out the entire list along with their reasoning -- which, frankly, is faulty on almost every one. Their basic criteria, by the way, is that these movies "just don't jive with the summer spirit. They're too serious, too treacly, or too completely, horribly awful." Here's the bottom five:
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Dance Flick. From the Wayans family; opening against Terminator Salvation and Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; it's a comedy tailor-made for teens. Not a bomb.
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Away We Go. Sam Mendes directs and John Krasinski stars in an indie comedy. Depends entirely on critics and word of mouth. Could be a bomb.
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Final Destination: Death Trip 3D. Did My Bloody Valentine 3-D teach us nothing? Ka-ching!! Not a bomb.
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Battle for Terra. Animated and in 3-D. Might do OK against Wolverine for parents who think claw guy is too violent for their kids.
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All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (pictured). Low-budget horror usually does fine. Not a barn burner, but not a bomb.
I was expecting to see a few big-budget productions on the list -- at least one or two bomb every year -- and so I ask for your input. Are these summer movies guaranteed to bomb? Or are there other, worthier, more potentially cringe-worthy flicks that will prove to be box office poison?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
4-17-2009 @ 12:14PM
General Zod said...
STAR TREK is the next SPEED RACER!
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4-17-2009 @ 12:56PM
Mr. R said...
Wrong! Star Wars is proof that you can make a horrible follow up film and still make millions. The franchise is huge and everyone who ever had an interest in the series will want to see for themselves. No way it bombs, might not be huge, but won't bomb.
4-17-2009 @ 12:34PM
Rich said...
Is Wolverine too early in the year to put on this list?
Oh what, this is a bomb list, not a "going to suck" list.
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4-17-2009 @ 12:42PM
vx2 said...
Mandy Lane was released ages ago.
And it is a good film.
Not you're typical teenage slasher flick, it has beautiful cinematography and an awesome soundtrack...not to mention Amber Heard is hot as hell in that film. I think it's your attention at the least.
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4-17-2009 @ 2:54PM
MCW said...
Yeah, I remember when that movie was never released in places people go... it was really good.
4-17-2009 @ 12:44PM
Moviezzz said...
I'd argue that ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE will be a bomb. Not having to do with the quality of the film (which I haven't seen but have heard good things about), but only because it has been on the shelf for three years. The directors follow up, THE WACKNESS, has had a theatrical and DVD release, yet this film hasn't even made it to theatres.
I didn't even know it was scheduled for release this summer, but it won't be by a major studio. If it does get a release, it will most likely just be a contractual release before it goes direct to DVD.
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4-17-2009 @ 12:55PM
dnetro said...
Sadly yes, it will be a bomb...
But i'm fine with a locally released dvd with hopefully a soundtrack feature. I'd buy it on Blu. Importing it from the UK costs too much. (Yes, it's already out in R2 dvds).
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4-17-2009 @ 5:43PM
SoulHonky said...
If you're going to be a bomb, don't you have to start with blockbuster (or at least legit box office) aspirations? Is anyone expecting Mandy Lane or Away We Go to make much money?
I'm not 100% sold that this will be a disaster but right now I think "Year One" is looking like the best bet for a big budget bomb.
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4-18-2009 @ 6:47AM
Ems said...
I'm looking forward to Away We Go, myself. Seeing as it's an indie film, it won't be one of the biggest money making films of the season, but there's no reason why it shouldn't do well. Sam Mendes is a pretty big draw
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4-18-2009 @ 12:48PM
Justin said...
After reading the original article it actually seems like a list of movies that will suck not bomb.
Also bomb is such a relative term Horror that costs 40Mil to make is a "hit" when is make 50mil while Wolverine will "bomb" if it "only" does 150mil.
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5-17-2009 @ 6:29AM
Holly said...
I really hope Dance Flick bombs. Hard. What a gigantic pile of ****. People need get over this gutter-minded type of devisive thinking. Like Jeezy said, "**** Jesse Jackson, cause it ain't about race now." Even if it is for the sake of "humor," am I wrong to think that humor is supposed to be... hrmm... funny? Comedy is funny because it reflects reality. This does not. It reflects a bunch of cinematic stereotypical archetypes.
I personally think that a movie about a black person who can't dance would be far more hip, cutting edge, and funny to a "young" audience... regardless of their ethnicity. In my opnion, this type of garbage should be falling on deaf ears if you are under the age of 30. We, as a society, are smarter than this. Please say we are...
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