Forget Game Movies -- It's Time for Gum Movies!

Okay, so it's not a gum movie ... well, not completely. In fact, it may be something that would make more sense if it was just about the bubbles. The Hollywood Reporter posts that we're going to get a feature film based on the Bazooka Joe comics. Remember those little things? Just like a treat in a Cracker Jack box, you unwrap your gum and get to read a mini comic along with it, like the one above. And they're making it into a fricking FEATURE, not a short.

Who are the crazy people behind this? Michael Eisner (who owns Topps, the co. that makes the gum) and his Tornante Co. are producing, and they've grabbed newcomer and fresh film graduate Mark Hammer to pen the script. Why a super-fresh newcomer? It seems that he had a spec that was so killer, it got him this gig. I don't know if that says anything about the spec...

Anyway, the comic has been around since the '50s, showing the eye-patched Joe and friends like Pesty, Mort, Toughie, Hungry Herman, Jane, and the dog, Walkie Talkie. One tiny little slip of paper per story. And you thought the idea for MacGruber was stretching it? What do you think at least 1 hour and 20 minutes of Bazooka Joe will be like? And how long before we get a feature based on a haiku?