Nobody Wants to Remake 'Hellraiser'

If I were a more superstitious person, I would start to think that Dimension's Hellraiser remake is cursed. It has been a long time since Clive Barker first signed on to help re-write his original story for the screen ... again, but here we are three years later and not a day closer to a finished product. The last anyone had heard was that Pascal Laugier (Martyrs) had signed up to direct. But, thanks to an update from Barker's Twitter feed, we now know that "Pascal Laugier is regrettably no longer on the Hellraiser remake. I think Martyrs is extraordinary, I don't know much more. I mean why would anyone tell me? I mostly discover these things here or through friends who still buy the trades."

The horror-remake has had a revolving door cast for a couple of years now, and Laugier isn't the first director to walk. Originally, the French directors Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury (Inside / A l'interieur) were supposed to be shooting Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton's script, but Bustillo and Maury soon left the film thanks to "creative differences." Laugier was supposed to be their replacement, and we might be back to square one now that rumors are swirling that Dimension has plans to commission an entirely new script as well.

After the jump: so, will Hellraiser ever get made? Plus some of my fantasy picks for a new director.
I don't want to be pessimistic, but I think it's a fair bet that Hellraiser is never going to get made. Even though fans might be relieved that their beloved horror isn't getting the reboot treatment, I actually wouldn't mind a remake... if it were done right. If by some grace of god, Dimension was willing to shell out the cash, here's who I think could make a Hellraiser worth watching:

1. Guillermo Del Toro
What can I say? When it comes to fantasy F/X is there anyone better than Del Toro?

2. Neil Marshall
Marshall has a rare skill when it comes to horror movies: he actually manages to make a horror film where we give a damn about the people.

3. David Cronenberg
This one's a no brainer; kinky sex and gore? You have to go with Cronenberg.

4. Eli Roth:
Say what you will about the king of 'Torture Porn', at least if Roth was in charge, we wouldn't wind up with a PG-13 Pinhead.

5. Alexandre Aja
High Tension proved to us all that sometimes just amping up the 'creep factor' is the scariest thing you can do.

So what do you think? Who would you like to see direct a Hellraiser reboot? Or are you just happy that no one else is willing to make one either?