The Geek Beat: Comic Couplings

But, I'm also an adult. So are my readers and fellow moviegoers. Marvel and DC adaptations are now going to have to start making charts of their own, and working in the hook-ups because let's face it ... sexless stories are just not that interesting.

I'm not the first one to say this. After Watchmen hit theaters, Devin Faraci wrote a brilliant piece tackling the thorny issue of sex and superheroes, exasperated that the sex and nudity of the film was causing such distaste for so many. "There will be a lot of people who won't even understand why there should be sex in a movie or comic on any level. They'll complain that superheroes are primarily aimed at younger audiences, and are happy to let kids see brutal violence but not someone getting sexually pleasured. And besides, they'll say, you don't need that stuff. 'You can understand their relationship by how they kiss! Or how he looks at her! Or how they fight ninjas side by side!' they'll say, and I'll just shake my head. Surely not every movie or comic needs sex, and not all of it needs to be explicit, but it's a part of our lives, and it's not one of those gross parts of our lives like taking a sh*t or watching American Idol. It's a big part of our lives, it's a cool part of our lives, and it in many ways drives us and gives insight into us. It's no less true in fiction as it is in reality."

Obviously, the sexuality of Watchmen isn't going to play well in First Avenger: Captain America, but you've got to put some heat into these things. There has to be some maturity, and an acknowledgment that even superheroic men and women are attracted to each other in more than a giddy, cheesy fashion. I think that's something The Dark Knight handled relatively well -- there may not have been a lot of passion, and what there was was off camera, but I liked how the film tackled three adult characters trying to untangle their relationship woes. It was refreshingly free of glib lines and sexual fetishes. In fact, there was something rather bitter about the way Dawes "compromises" by choosing a safe life with Harvey over waiting for Bruce to work out his childhood traumas. The one nice thing I can say about X-Men Origins: Wolverine is that there were glimmers of a very healthy sex life between Silver Fox and Wolverine. We actually saw them in bed together, and their cabin was a place of perpetual undress. Pretty nice.

I don't see this continuing, though. What I find very worrying about the new Marvel Universe is that they seem determined to exclude the female Avengers from the club. There's ample opportunity to create some sparks by writing in Ms. Marvel, Spider-Woman, Wasp, and the Scarlet Witch. As long as you give them strong characters and ample fighting time, there's nothing wrong or unfeminist about hooking them up with a teammate. Work relationships happen all the time, particularly when your universe is populated with good looking, muscular people. Giving our superheroes real love lives full of sex, tension, and fear instead of "Chicks dig the car!" levels of jokery will give some weight and credibility to a genre that's seen as juvenile and virgin. Plus, it'll be really, really hot.