The Geek Beat: The Scary Skrulls

As you might remember from last week, I've decided to delve into the complicated and convoluted pasts of the Marvel and DC villains we may (or may not!) be seeing in the superhero years to come. Last week, we tackled Loki and his uncanny abilities, and this week we're going broad -- we're going to meet the green and pointy people known as the Skrulls. Speculation is rampant that these will be the big baddies in The Avengers, as they're one of the few things that could unite a Nordic god, an alcoholic playboy, a thawed-out WWII hero, and the unpredictable Hulk. (Whether Hulk will actually be an Avenger, or just someone they're forced to fight, remains to be seen. I'm convinced there's still time to add Wasp or Ant Man, and though we'd see The Avengers delayed a bit longer, I like to look at the half-full glass on these things.)

The Skrulls are certainly the threat that could unite our disparate heroes. They've played Marvel continuity for years, though not always to the best effect. They're mean. They're ugly. They can shape-shift. All they really want to do is conquer Earth and subjugate us like they have with so many other planets. But they forgot to factor in that we have a planet full of bitching superheroes, and their best laid plans fall apart again and again. They can't even win if they impersonate our heroes, as witnessed by the recent Secret Invasion crossover.

Now, comic book storylines are always based around one simple fact: The heroes win. You don't pick up a Batman comic and believe that the Joker will really win this time around. Yet the best books leave you with a fraction of doubt, an edge of childish tension that everything you know could be swept away in that cliffhanger. This could be the time Daredevil bites it, or the time Wolverine fails to knit himself back together. You don't know. It could happen.

Ostensibly, that's a fear the Skrulls should play on. They're always presented as so very unstoppable (superior weapons, technology, medicine, and spaceships ... because the shape-shifting just isn't enough) and yet so very unimpressive. Perhaps it's their exaggerated Leonard Nimoy appearance, or perhaps it's because they've tried and failed so many times, but I just don't find them all that scary. I never have, and that's coming from someone who stayed awake for two weeks solid after watching Signs.

Aliens scare the crap out of me anywhere outside of Marvel. If they don't strike me as a viable threat, how will they play to the general "Gee, I liked The Incredible Hulk!" moviegoing public? These are moviegoers who saw shape-shifters on The X-Files. If they missed them on the first go-round, they can see them currently shifting and plotting on Fringe. Oh, and let's not forget the original V (or its modern remake, if it ever airs) which was built entirely on aliens who were smoking hot on the outside, green and reptilian on the inside. I don't envy the screenwriter who might be tasked with writing them into the Marvel Movie Universe, while making them something that can truly threaten Earth and its superhumans.

It's my humble opinion that this is something every Skrull storyline has failed to do, even the recent Secret Invasion. If you can't make me fear for my favorites in a story spanning books, how can you do it on a movie screen?

My suggestion? It has to be paranoia. That's something Secret Invasion did do well (and I imagine that was the whole point -- it's not like I could afford more than 1/4 of that winding thing!) because everyone was suspect once Spider-Woman was revealed to be a Skrull. Not even the super-scented heroes like Wolverine could figure out who was who, and it freaked everyone out. The idea of your best friend being a pointy-eared hobgoblin spy could send anyone into a tail spin, but I think it must be particularly hard if you're a superhero. These guys and girls don't have a lot of stable relationships as it is, and they often see their loved ones mauled in some spectacular fashion.

My hope is that you'll see a Skrull beginning that Marvel Comics would normally use as an ending. Have the Skrulls hit hard and fast, and destroy Stark Industries. Have their first appearance be absolutely devastating, and nothing short of a terrorist attack has everyone wondering "What did we do? And to who?" As the world (but especially Tony) is reeling from that, have someone important in the grand scheme be exposed to be this ... thing that no one has seen before. It'll still be reminiscent of Fringe and The X-Files, but if you pull the rug hard and fast enough, you would pack one hell of a punch. You would also be mercifully free of the mythology that has such shows in knots, and you'll be free of all the messy retcons that Marvel Comics have used the Skrulls for. (Turns out, that Elektra was a Skrull, but this one wasn't. Fun times trying to keep that sort of thing straight!)

It's story arcs like these that'll really test the strength of the Marvel brand, and the world Marvel Studios is so carefully crafting. I can't wait to see how they do it, and I genuinely hope they'll give me something I've never seen before: A Skrull Invasion that I actually believe.