'This Is It': A Fan Perspective

When Michael Jackson died a few months ago, I didn't have an opportunity at the time to write down any of my feelings about his passing, much less his career, his legacy, and his impact on my own life. I didn't cry, I don't remember being "shocked," and I didn't really react at all, to be honest, except with some mild degree of incredulity over the way so many people were just wracked with sorrow over the death of someone many of them would have vilified the day before it happened.
But a couple of weeks later, I spoke to my mom, whose well-worn vinyl copy of Off the Wall still takes up a place in my record collection, and who gave me Thriller when I was seven. She mentioned that I was the first person she thought of when she heard the news. Somehow that actually affected me more than his actual death, and I really started thinking about how much his music really meant to me. While that ongoing reflection has mostly manifested itself in repeated plays of both of the albums mentioned, as well as Bad, it made me both curious and apprehensive about This Is It, the documentary Kenny Ortega put together about his final tour.
Last Wednesday I went to see the film, and I wasn't deeply roused by it, either as a Jackson fan or a general filmgoer. Part of this can no doubt be attributed to the fact that the footage was by all accounts never intended to be seen by anyone other than Jackson himself, so any real structure or polish applied to its rough edges in order to create dramatic momentum was done posthumously. But even though I never judged Jackson for endlessly transforming himself into an almost literal shell of his former self, watching him on stage in this documentary, struggling to maintain the energy and focus that once came so easy and natural (or at least looked that way), I couldn't help thinking that Michael Jackson was a figure better celebrated in our memories, even before he passed away.
Watching the film, nostalgia seemed to clash violently with reality: for every terrific performance he gave of a song that I still love, his voice fluctuated, his dance steps occasionally fell out of rhythm, and of course, he just didn't look like the same handsome guy whose moves I mimicked and whose lyrics I memorized on the bus back in elementary school. At the same time, there continues to be something sociologically fascinating about his performance style, and the way it has since become one of the foundations for virtually all modern pop-dance choreography.
During one number, he pretended to be fencing, parrying with an unseen adversary; in another, he dropped to his knees, conjuring spirits around an imaginary bonfire. The dramatic abstraction that he brought to his performances is what led to the kinds of storytelling choreography that we see on Dancing With the Stars and America's Best Dance Crew, where sometimes to great effect and sometimes not, the performers find a narrative that gives their moves deeper meaning.That said, I don't think it's the filmmakers' or even Jackson's fault that he just doesn't look and sound as good as he once did. The filmmakers certainly deify him in the film, showering him with deference and respect (and I don't think anyone in the film ever says "no" to him); and Jackson seems incapable of not trying to give 110 percent of himself to every single aspect of the performance, even when he acknowledges that he has to save his energy or his voice. Ultimately, Jackson is an artist who fell prey to the vagaries of his own success, driven both by a desire to succeed, and an inability to experience life in any kind of normal way.
Notwithstanding the actual cameras capturing this particular rehearsal session, Jackson lived a life where he was constantly being watched, scrutinized, and analyzed, so he fortified his world with yes-men and people who loved him (or maybe just his money) unconditionally, or at least supported his decisions that way. As such, he simply aged out of relevance; not only did his newer music fail to live up to the rest of his work, but his increasingly eccentric behavior put Jackson in the position where people didn't want to hear anything new, instead poring over his personal woes with gleeful self-righteousness.
Ultimately, however, while the movie hints at these truths, it certainly doesn't focus on them, and overall its release feels more like a necessary step in recognizing his greatness, celebrating his career, and most of all, moving on. It was surprisingly illuminating for me in that capacity – watching him personally revisit his classic songs, music videos and dance choreography, even in truncated form, was a wistful reminder of the days when he was my favorite perform – and in that sense I'm grateful that I saw the film. But overall I hope that This Is It lives up to its name and provides the final tribute to Michael Jackson, because I feel that any further examination of his life beyond the music that is so beloved, for me anyway, will only prompt more criticism, more corruption of his achievements, and less celebration of them.










Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
11-03-2009 @ 2:51AM
John said...
This is a great article.
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11-03-2009 @ 3:11AM
brian said...
John it's sad that you can judge someone you dont even know. I think that you are the one who need help, so did MICHAEL IN A WAY. YOUR COMMENT MAKES ME SICK TO BE AND AMERICAN. NO ONE, A TRUE FAN REALLY CARES WHAT YOU THINK DUDE. IS HE A VICTIM OF HIS SUCCESS OR DID SUCCESS MAKE HIM A VICTIM.
12-17-2009 @ 10:12PM
Teresa said...
John, You seem to have not considered the fact that Michael Jackson was 50 years old and not the same young man that performed years ago. I went to see This Is It and thought it was fantastic and for a man of 50 he really could dance and sing as if he never stopped. The man was amazing and I don't know why people love to talk bad about him when in reality he was the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful person. Plus he was a great humanitarian and the greatest entertainer up until the day he died. The world has a huge void in it since his passing because he was the light of the World.
No one will have Michael's huge heart and the energy that he gave out. God Bless his soul, I hope he rests in peace because he deserves it after all the, the people that tried to hurt him. They did not suceed in bringing him down because he was strong and fought back with dignity. King of Pop, there will never be another to fill his shoes. Love you more Michael Jackson (the Person)
11-03-2009 @ 12:26AM
uforeader said...
I had tickets to see Michael in London, and as a true fan, and someone who DID cry (for days) when he heard the news, I think I need to say something here.
I feel like we might have watched two different movies. I think his voice sounded as good live in "This Is It" as it ever did. There are lots of bootleg videos of MJ rehearsing for his Dangerous tour. He never used to sing or dance during rehearsals as much as he did in "This Is It." His voice in Human Nature is absolutely amazing, and his constant improvisation of the rhythm is breathtaking.
It's obvious he isn't dancing to his full level. After all, rehearsals lasted for 12 hours a day, and you can't dance full throttle for that long. But you get to see spurts of his greatness, and anyone who watched his concerts in 2001 knows he still had the moves. And god knows he had the rhythm. Just look at his "taste of it" performance of Billie Jean in This It It. It's genius.
Finally, I'd like to add that I'm so tired of hearing people say "not only did his newer music fail to live up to the rest of his work..." First of all, it's impossible to outsell the greatest-selling album of all time. Thriller sold over 110 million copies. The next best-selling album was from AC/DC and only sold 49 million. It's not even a competition. Besting Thriller will never happen, so saying Michael never matched Thriller is ridiculous. The fact of the matter is, the fervor for Michael Jackson was so intense beginning in 1982 that there was nowhere to go but down.
Long Live the KING.
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11-11-2009 @ 4:21PM
ydm49 said...
You hit the nail on the head! No performer would ever go full throttle in rehersals. Even the final dress rehearsal you would not see 100%. I was not a die -hard fan, however, I admired his genius!. I saw the documentary just because...
11-03-2009 @ 1:15AM
Nichole said...
Well written article, Mr. Gilchirst, but I agree with uforeader, we watched two different movies. But first, in regard to his newer music failing, you would have to say, Mr. Gilchrist that every other artist has failed in comparison to Thriller because Thriller has not, can not and will not be matched or topped.
With that being said, uforeader hit it right on the head. As far as the documentary, it is footage from a rehearsal and full concert level is not expected, but the scaled back tone of the rehearsals were still quite impressive and awe inspiring. That Billie Jean sequence was awesome!
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11-03-2009 @ 2:06AM
rpprdef3 said...
Then why in God's name did you go and see THIS IS IT? Why? This is not a Fan's perspective. This is just another naysayer who wants Michael's last days to be a drugged filled and incoherent state.
Let me tell you, it was just rehearsals and Michael was singing only 50% and it sounded pretty darn good to me. Why did you write this article? Certainly wasn't to appreciate an artist is who is now gone.
Take all his albums you saved and sell them or burn them or trade them. Obviously you don't even care about Mr. Jackson.
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11-03-2009 @ 3:30AM
sc341 said...
I saw the movie and I was very moved by it. I didn't cry till the end of the movie and then I was overcome with so many emotions. But then I'm only 2 years younger than Michael. I was 10 years old when I heard him singing "ABC" on the radio (AM radio, no less). I grew up watching him and his brothers perform on "Sonny & Cher" and their own Variety show. Then the "Off The Wall" album during the disco era and when the "Thriller" phenomenon hit it was unbelievable. I watched this man grow from a boy into a teenager, go through an awkward period, then become a very attractive young man. He became more and more eccentric though which was very sad. His death and now this movie brought back so many memories from my youth that it's almost unbearable. He was in the public eye for forty years. Now that he's gone we can love him again. I love his music. I love watching him dance in his videos and old concert footage. I cried at the end of the movie because in some way his death was the end of an era for the tail end of the baby boomers born in the early 1960's. His death illustrated that our youth is behind us. For better or for worse he was our Elvis. No one else came close.
One other thing, with all the negative things the media said after his death (he weighed 110 lbs, he was addicted to painkillers, he was at death's door, etc.) it is obvious in this film that while he's thin he's not at death's door. Poor MJ's health problems were mainly in his head. Yeah, he had a lot of problems but I love him anyway.
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11-03-2009 @ 3:32AM
Todd Gilchrist said...
thank you for a very poetic and thoughtful comment. i agree with everything you said.
11-03-2009 @ 4:23AM
uforeader said...
He was my generation's (I'm 25) Elvis too. Actually, at his height, Michael was bigger than Elvis. And he was DEFINITELY more talented.
It sounds cliche, but Michael's music really was the soundtrack to my life. I remember listening to Black or White in 2nd grade PE class. I remember being obsessed with his HBO concert special. I danced to his music at school dances and listened to it when learning to drive. I boomed it through the hallways of my college dorm. I looked forward to every album, every interview, and every TV special. It's true when I say that when he died, it felt like I had lost a huge part of my life. True, I never knew him personally, but he made a giant impact on my life, and I miss him terribly.
Long Live the KING.
11-03-2009 @ 1:37PM
Reuben said...
Frankly, I don't feel this film will be able to be judged without bias from either side for many years.
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11-03-2009 @ 10:17AM
MJ Fan said...
Beautiful article -- and I must say I agree completely with the final paragraph. I think the film is ultimately a fitting tribute to MJ and more than anything, honors his legacy as the world's greatest performer.
I would encourage all of you go to see the film -- I know tickets are still available and they are even extending the two week run.
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11-04-2009 @ 10:53AM
anna said...
agreed with rppdef3. Take all his albums you saved and sell them or burn them or trade them. And obviously you didn't pay attention what movie is all about. Is REHEARSAL FOOTAGE.
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11-03-2009 @ 2:03PM
Todd Gilchrist said...
you're right, anna - because i feel differently about this movie than you i should no longer like or be able to like michael jackson. good to know there are still some reasonable, sane people out there with a constructive point of view.
11-03-2009 @ 2:35PM
Reuben said...
Some of the fans, including some on this comment section, are what keeps me from talking about this movie with anybody. A legendary performer he was, but a saint he is not. People can disagree without being verbally assaulted.
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11-03-2009 @ 3:50PM
yvonne said...
uoi are crazy, michael sounded maazing and he dancing was great and remember this is just REHEARSALS!
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11-03-2009 @ 6:03PM
john said...
He Sucks! Great article.
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11-04-2009 @ 10:00AM
Anne Marie said...
I agree MJ's voice did fluctuate within the first 5 minutes into the movie. After that point, MJ was back! His tone and voice was sensational for someone who had not been singing in public for many years. He was a natural~keeping up in dance rehearsals with people half his age. by the way, he's 50! Remember, this was a rehearsal and not the real deal. He would have perfected his voice and moves during the London concerts, as his fans transformed him at every concert. He did not have that audience in front of him. Even today, a feeling comes over me to dance and sing to his music. It was difficult for me to stay in my seat during the movie.
I disagree with your comment that no one would disagree with Michael. Did you take a snooze during the movie? Ortega was giving constructive criticism and advice throughout the movie as well as his organist. I would never say, 'no' to someone so gracious and respectful. You get in return what you put out. You seem to forget to mention that MJ was a 'superstar' who treated his dancers, singers, and staff with kindness, unlike many other celebrities. You were not there during rehearsals so I think your comments are unjust.
I am so happy I had the opportunity to see this magnificent performer on the big screen, because I would have missed out on his concert. I was never a die-hard fan, but I do love his music. Most of all, I loved his person. RIP, MJ.
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11-08-2009 @ 8:10PM
thisisitfan2009 said...
You dont have to be crazy or fanatic to be a fan of anybody. People react differently to one's death. I am a great MJ fan. with only a 2 year age difference f rom MJ.
I was very young with the J5 came out. I remember getting very excited when ABC came out. We were all going to marry the J5. I never cried either. I was shocked to hear of his death. History has repeated itself though with MJ. You have Elvis. So many people loved Elvis and upon hearing about his death, many were devastated. We didnt have the internet of course, I thought I understood then, but with MJ death, my own experience with both men in my life time tells me they really made an impact on thousands of fans.
I cannot expect MJ to dance like he did before, to sing like he did before. Heck , for me his voice changed as a teenager and forever changed the child's voice I first fell in love with.
I went to go see This is It and was mesmerized because it gave me one more time to see the performer in action whether or not it was a rehearsal. He was 50 and was performing as a 50 year old but he certainly was able to keep up with the young uns. We all have to grow up and things change when we do. Stop passing judgementg and just enjoy the ride,
REST IN PEACE MJ
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11-11-2009 @ 7:09PM
Julie said...
Michael Jackson is an icon in this era. He is so very talented and unbelievably kind and full of love in his heart. Seeing "This Is It" for me was a mix of emotions. Mostly sad that he can no longer be creative and give us all more. It was also a time machine taking me back to the memories I had when I heard his songs, all of them so catchy and exuberant. It is clear to me that he got totally absorbed in his music and it was a place that brought him the most comfortable place to be. He didn't perform the music, he was the music. His songs told stories of how he felt. At the end of the movie I wanted to see his final show, the one he and the performers practiced so hard to make phenomenal. Now I know how much it takes to make a production. I love Michael and his songs roll around in my mind all the time. I am thankful that we have what we do have of Michael and his performances. The greatest magic of Michael and his legend in my time.
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