The Kinks Get a Biopic

I had the idea for this film a few years ago.

I heard that Mike Myers was supposedly going to produce a Keith Moon movie. He was supposedly going to play Moon. There is no way Myers could pull off a 17-year-old. He could play the overweight old-beyond-his-years Keith in his 30s. So then it would have to be a flashback movie beginning with Keith toward the end of his life remembering his younger self -- played by a younger actor.

That's what is needed in this film. It needs to be based on X-Ray, Davies' Unauthorized Autobiography. In fact, my vision for the film has three versions of Ray Davies.

X-Ray is a brilliant novel and it serves as the perfect blueprint for a feature film about the Kinks. The concept is that the reporter, who is essentially a stooge for an Orwellian government, is trying to get the last independent label and recording studio, Konk, turned over to bureaucratic socialist control. That is a theme that would resonate with American audiences.

The reporter/investigator ought to be played by Mike Myers. As in X-Ray, he shows up at Davies house to investigate the aging rock star played by the real Ray Davies. (Another brilliant option for the reporter would be Johnny Depp.) Terry Gilliam ought to be brought in to produce and direct the scenes of an Orwellian London in the not-too-distant future. Gilliam is brilliant in conjuring the perfect mixture between film noir and black comedy. He also has great rock and roll sensibility.

As Ray tells his story, the cinematography changes back and forth between the dreary, rainy London world of Ray's narration, "My name is of no importance ..." from bleak Orwellian darkness, toward the bright Cinema-scope Deluxe Color of early sixties films, which is of course Julien Temple's trademark. The problem of casting a younger Kink's band is solved by having Davies' presence in the film, which would be sort of like Leonard Nimoy channeling the spirit of the original series into the most recent Star Trek prequel-alternate-universe film.

As in the typical dystopian story, the young protagonist is turned on to independence and freedom by the wise old sage. In a surreal twist of situational irony, the protagonist BECOMES Ray Davies by the end of the story. He is the narrator of the story, but it is at times difficult to tell which parts are being told by Ray. There is a blurring of the two characters through numerous ironic devices throughout the story until it becomes apparent at the end that the narrator is the voice of Ray Davies and the protagonist is the leader of The Kinks in the future -- an alternate universe in which the bright idealist dreams of the early sixties are reborn.

The film would have to incorporate Dave Davies' version of the story obviously and do him justice. There ought to be a sequence reminiscent of Kurt Vonnegut's Sirens of Titan or Slaughterhouse Five in which Dave is abducted by aliens and returns to "The Spiritual Planet" (a/k/a the alternate universe of the film) with exponentially improved guitar playing skills, which would be sort of like a sci-fi version of Robert Johnson's Crossroads fable.

Part of the goal is not to make a realistic version of the Kink's story -- which very few people want to ear anyway -- and turn it into more of a sci-fi themed dystopian rock opera experience.

Actors would also have to portray The Beatles, the Rolling Stones, The Who, and a dozen other important rock stars from the early sixties as a draw for people who hate The Kinks, but would nevertheless come out for the various subplot sideshows -- which was half the fun of Walk the Line -- seeing Elvis, Buddy Holly, and Jerry Lee Lewis caricatured.

But the story line would be carried by Ray's narration and that of a well-known actor such as Myers or Depp who could bring gravitas to a dramatic role not based on any of the Kinks band persona. It should not depend on a clumsy try at a spot-on imitation of what once was and never can really be again.

Rather than use well-known actors, I would recruit young mostly unknown Indie bands who carry on the spirit of the British Invasion. Maybe Locksley, who are a literal modern day Kinks band, could figure in somehow.

It would also be key to put in as many British Rock icons in hidden cameos in odd places to make the irony all the more appealing.

The theme and storyline of the film has to be X-Ray's portrayal of Ray Davies fighting the travesty of corporate rock from 1963 up until about 1971. There are half a dozen themes that could be worked into little subplot vignettes from the albums Schoolboys in Disgrace, Preservation 1,2&3, Muswell Hillbillies, Lola, Arthur, Village Green. Ideas from these rock operas should be woven into the plot.

Oh yes, there must also be a romantic subplot played by the inimitable Julie Finkle. This movie must have something for everybody, not just Kinks fans -- or else only a few hundred people will actually come out to see it. It's the last thing The Kinks need at this stage of their career -- a masterpiece flop.

The problem in this film is not what to include, but what not to. The saga is rich yet mostly unknown yearning to be told.

If Julien or Ray wants me to submit a screenplay, I have one word: RETAINER!

Yes, like all Americans, I want cash, but I can be bought cheaply.

If they want to talk to me, I'll be the one in the second row with the paper plate.

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Whatever is done with the Story of The Kinks, I think it should only include actors to play the parts that the band members themselves are obviously too old to play. When it gets to showing them more recently, it should be The Kinks themselves. Possibly even an on-screen reunion. And I like "All Day & All Of The Night" or "Rock N' Roll Survivors" for a title, but that's my personal taste.

It's good that this is being done. I suggested this on the KPS over 10 years ago, and Julian Temple is a good choice.

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Steve Coogan as Ray Davies!

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"...'I think you would want to have the music played by the actors ... that is believable and real while miming is problematic.' His words to Hollywood god's ears!"

I see. So the plan once again is to make a movie about one of the more distinctive voices in rock, and The Kinks' music - without which there would be no film to make - will be performed by...the actors.

That's what we're "praying" for, have I got that right?

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Shaun Ennis for Ray!

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