Girls on Film: Romance is a Dirty Word
Filed under: Romance, Girls on Film
Beware the arrows this week; we're just six sleeps away from Valentine's Day, that time of year when Cupid's bow sprays the populace with love bug-laced arrows. Or, more accurately, that time of year when jeweler's make you feel like a stingy fool if you don't spend your life savings on diamonds, when rose prices skyrocket, and every business preys on those who itch for a little of that dirty word called "romance."
Some may lead you to believe that it is the practice of romance that is a dirty, woman-centric desire on the big screen, but let's face it, folks -- we all love a little love. Boys, girls, men, and women. It's in almost all of our films, and is the basis of most of our favorite stories, from straight-forward romantic comedy and drama to action, sci-fi, and every other genre out there.
The menace seems to be in the word. Merely uttering romance breeds slights like "chick flick" and "crap," and inspires many a moviegoer to place one foot outside the door. But it's the 21st century, and it's time for a little evolution.
Uttering the word "romance" is like dropping a stereotype-filled anvil into any conversation. Describing any film with that adjective weighs it with many assumptions, most of which are derogatory, both to the film and those who like it. A woman liking a romance means she's being honest to her sex -- the basis for the chick flick argument. If a man admits to liking romance, he's emasculated and weird. The few features that men and women both like must be qualified: "It's a romance, but..." We have romantic comedies like (500) Days of Summer starting with the qualification: "You should know up front: This is not a love story." We have rom-com filmmakers like Judd Apatow who are seen merely as comedy filmmakers.
If you speak around the word "romance," you're safe. If it's not mentioned, it's like it doesn't exist. The girl stigma wears off and the film gains a broader reach.
Take James Cameron's Avatar -- it is the biggest money maker of all time. All time. The boys and the girls like this film. It's about the struggle between a big corporation and its military thugs and a peaceful and earth-loving alien race. It's got lush visuals and some big stars. It's most fanboys' dream. And it's a romance. (Some mild spoilers mentioned next.) Let's face it: Jake Sully doesn't help the Na'vi because he finds his inner environmentalist. He fights and joins them because he loves Neytiri and was hit by Cupid's arrow. He even admits as much in the film ... he was a spy until he fell in love! Sure, Cameron covers Sully's arse by saying he fell in love with the world, the people, etc., but that's not the catalyst, and I'd bet anything he wouldn't have switched sides if he didn't dig his Na'vi teacher. (I'd even go so far as to say he's quite like Giovanni Ribisi's Parker Selfridge -- cognizant of his wrongs, but too weak to stop them.) The spy, although increasingly reluctant because he digs the adventure and working legs, doesn't stop shooting off his mouth until two things happen: He gets some action and vows of "seeing," and he almost gets run down by his own kind. It is Titanic meets Terminator, set on an environmental and emotional playing field.
Take almost any big film -- The Matrix and how Neo comes back to life because of love, Spider-Man's obsession with Mary Jane, Fight Club's Marla -- they're all based in romance. Some add enough distractions that it can be fairly easy to forget that the story is romantic, while others, like Avatar, are pretty blatant about it. Just leave love out of the tagline, and ward off that pesky romance genre label, and you're good to go. (I'm betting initial responses would be a whole lot different if Avatar switched "Enter the World" to "Alien Romance," if Fight Club changed "Mischief. Mayhem. Soap." to "Love. Mayhem. Soap." ... and not just because the tags are uninteresting, or the latter would suggest something a lot more raunchy.)
The fact of the matter is, romance falls under the same sort of assumptions that other genres used to be plagued with. Since we've finally given credit to the perks of horror and science fiction, maybe it's time to realize that romance isn't a dirty word used to herd women's tastes together. It's a label that is applicable for countless films, but is often thrown only against the most extreme examples as a weapon of derision.
Romance is not some "girly" inclination, it's a part of life. We all like it in our movies, and if you refuse to admit it, please don't rave about how awesomely perfect Avatar is, or all those other "guy films," are. The jig is up. Romance is everywhere and just about every film includes it.
When it comes time to pop a film into the player or go to the theater with your hunny, remember romance can be found in a lot more than Dear John and Valentine's Day.
And with that in mind, which is your favorite romance? Let's give the couples some better, more well-rounded options.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
2-08-2010 @ 8:50PM
Kate said...
I'm another culprit of allowing romance to trigger my gag reflex, but I'd be one big arsed liar if I didn't admit some of my favorite movies are romances. I've got a little list *whistles*
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Beauty and the Beast
Gone With the Wind
What makes these work for me is that they're not love stories because "love is the language of the universe" or some poetry noncey crap. It's because they're about two people who make each other happy, despite all their ups and downs, life is a little better because of this person's company.
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2-08-2010 @ 9:12PM
StartlePixie said...
Fight Club? Ok, not my first thought for a romantic movie to watch with my (imaginary) boyfriend on our (imaginary) anniversery.
A fine choice nevertheless. I'd rather watch my dear Ed saying: "I'm Jack's smirking revenge" that stare *rolling eyes* at Taylor Launter's abs.
Or I can just watch Edward Scissorshands I suppose...
Also: Can we now declare Charlie and the Chocolate Factory a romance? There is no greater (and more stable) love than a person's affair with his candies :P
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2-08-2010 @ 10:35PM
Scott Nye said...
I'm a 20-something male, but I love romance in my movies. I'm a total sucker for it and I make no bones about it. Around midway through high school, I discovered it was better to just like what you like, and if other people have a problem with that, that's their deal.
Anyway, off my high horse...favorite romantic films:
Punch-Drunk Love
It Happened One Night
Breathless
Port of Shadows
Before Sunrise/Before Sunset (both in different, but equally effective, ways)
Lost in Translation
Joe Versus the Volcano
Elizabethtown (would be a guilty pleasure if I felt guilty about such things)
The Young Girls of Rochefort (I cannot urge people strongly enough to watch this)
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2-08-2010 @ 11:32PM
Reuben said...
You've made it safe for me come out of the brushes, good sir.
I too am a 20-something male who enjoys good romance in his movies. My favorite film of all time is currently Eternal Sunshine.
2-09-2010 @ 12:55PM
Dan said...
Co-sign. I respect those of us that can be honest about what we like. I don't get caught up in all that machismo. I love action, but I also love (for example) The Princess Bride. In my world, those things can co-exist.
2-08-2010 @ 11:24PM
Mia said...
Hands down: Before Sunrise/Sunset
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2-09-2010 @ 10:56AM
vegimorph said...
I have no problem at all with romance movies. They're great.
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin
Casablanca
The Lion King (Simba and Nala)
Back to the Future (George McFly and Lorriane Baines)
Forrest Gump (Forrest and Jenny)
There are probably more but I can't remember. Good article.
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2-09-2010 @ 1:03AM
vegimorph said...
I have no problem at all with romance movies. They're great.
Beauty and the Beast
Aladdin
Casablanca
The Lion King (Simba and Nala)
Back to the Future (George McFly and Lorriane Baines)
Forrest Gump (Forrest and Jenny)
WALL-E
There are probably more but I can't remember. Good article. I'll probably watch these movies on Valentine's Day since nothing else is going on
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2-09-2010 @ 2:00AM
Tony le Stephanois said...
I love me some romance, and as a male, am not emasculated at all...at least in my own mind. As your article demonstrates, romance is to be found in all genres...especially my favorite: noir; where the sad-sack male anti-hero is usually hopelessly romantically entwined with some salty gal. Romance is nothing to shy away from, but I do deplore the seasonal pitch for Valentine's Day, especially of late...He's Just Not That Into You made me want to kill myself...but for every HJNTIY, there is a Love Actually, so I keep an open mind on the old romantic movie front.
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2-09-2010 @ 12:47PM
KitKat said...
Like Water For Chocolate
A Walk on the Moon
The Lover
All movies that were sexy and romantic but also dealt with issues other than coupling.
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2-09-2010 @ 11:23AM
Astin said...
Sadly, most films tagged with romance are those made as "chick" flicks. Sickeningly syrupy, predictable, and uninteresting. It does give the genre a bad name. After all, way back when, Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, and other classics that are considered some of the best films of all-time were what a romance was. Then they got more dramatic and tragic, and then we seemed to get stuck in the rom-com rut.
But there are luckily still some out there who can do it right. As mentioned here, the Linklater films, (500) Days of Summer, and Eternal Sunshine are all fine examples. Which is far better than people trying to take parts of When Harry Met Sally, or Annie Hall, and making derivative crap.
And let's not forget - The original Star Wars trilogy had an underlying love triangle that didn't detract from the movies. In fact, it produced one of the most classic responses of moviedom with Han Solo's "I know."
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2-09-2010 @ 6:03PM
Garrett said...
Rom-com is still a dirty word to me, but I always was annoyed of how romance was in every single film. When I was about eleven and I'd seen Harry Potter for the first time I remember walking out and thinking "finally a movie that's not about falling in love".
This year's best picture race, only District 9 and Hurt Locker aren't about love stories of some sort (but I still need to see Blind Side and Precious...) It almost feels like screenwriters go to a love story as a starting off point when they're stuck.
It really is a lot harder to think of movies that don't have a bit of a love story. Die Hard - ex-wife, Transformers - Megan Fox, Fantastic Mr. Fox - Meryl Streep.
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2-09-2010 @ 11:44PM
Jen said...
I'm reminded of the bone-headed marketing for "Stardust" back in '07 where you could tell the nervous marketing folks were doing everything possible to hide the fact that it was a fantasy-romance in the vein of "The Princess Bride." Never mind that everyone and their grandpa loves "The Princess Bride"!
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2-10-2010 @ 1:52PM
lw said...
"True Romance" is one of my favorites and definitely not a chick flick!
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