Cinematical

"You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do, is spread false gossip so people think that everything that's been said is untrue ... It's like the end of Spartacus. I have seen that movie half a dozen times and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is. And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunnit." -- The Office

I know very well there isn't a single Cinematical reader who doesn't know who the real Spartacus is. There's probably little children who haven't even seen Stanley Kubrick's Roman epic who know who the real Spartacus is because the movie has become such a cultural touchstone. But just because it's ubiquitous doesn't mean you shouldn't sit down and watch the movie again, especially since it's playing for free on SlashControl. Its lengthy runtime might make it a little uncomfortable to view on your laptop, but just make sure you have plenty of snacks and drinks, and you should be just fine.

Spartacus is quite dated (this is the era of filmmaking when no one thought flattops and beehives would be out of place in any time period), and Howard Fast's version of the myth was skewed toward his own political beliefs. But it's still a pretty brutal movie, and runs counter to Hollywood's vision today in that it makes the ending worse than the history. Eyewitnesses claim Spartacus died in battle. No one really knows, as his body was never recovered, but history is reasonably certain he wasn't one of the 6,600 crucified along the Via Appia. But Hollywood brutally chose to put him among them, and didn't even spare his wife and infant son the sight. That final farewell between Spartacus and Varinia traumatized me as a kid (it has to be one of the first movies I saw where the good guy didn't win), and still gets me every time.

Watch Spartacus now on SlashControl!

Once upon a time, Sgt. Rock was in the hands of Guy Ritchie, and many an Easy Company fan was upset. But you'll undoubtedly wish that Ritchie and Joel Silver had made it to the finish line, because Sgt. Rock will not make it to the big screen in a form you'll recognize. According to The Hollywood Reporter, he has a new director in Francis Lawrence and a whole new space-time continuum. Joel Silver is still on board as producer, and he's bringing Akiva Goldsman on board to help. They've hired newcomer Chad St. John to pen the script.

As you may or may not know, Sgt. Rock is a WWII soldier. He's always fought in WWII. The poor guy has never even gotten to leave the European theater. (It was rumored in Swamp Thing that he was transferred to the Pacific, but never confirmed.) Any attempt at a movie adaptation has always gone forward with this central idea of keeping him in his element. But budget, politics, and popularity has always been an issue, and no one believes you can make The Dirty Dozen in this day and age unless you're Quentin Tarantino. So Warner Bros has decided to bypass the drama, and put Sgt. Rock in the future. CG is cheaper than Nazis, and a nondescript soldier of the future is less problematic than an American fighting a good fight. (While no war is a good war, I do think we can all agree that fighting Nazis was a good thing.)

Nothing else is known about this storyline, so I hate to jump to a knee-jerk conclusion as to who or what Sgt. Rock will face there, or whether he will be transported to the future from WWII. But I think this is an unfortunate thing to do to a character who resides in WWII for a very specific and honorable reason. The last thing he should become is a Universal Soldier or Terminator ripoff.

Good news, Twilight fans. You have the first official news for the fourth Twilight installment, courtesy of our own Jen Yamato, FearNet and the New Moon junket.* The magically-coiffed Robert Pattinson has confirmed that Breaking Dawn will begin filming in Fall 2010, and that it's penciled into his schedule for next year.

Of course, Dawn remains unconfirmed by Summit. The most controversial installment of the Twilight series, rumors swirl that the studio is hesitant to take it to the big screen. If it is made, it seems likely that it could be split into two films a'la Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Personally, I don't see Summit risking the money they'd make on #4, and they'll find a way to steer around the gorier aspects of the book. But now you know when to look for it, though you still have the madness of Eclipse pre-production to get through.

Pattinson also dished on the movie I want to mark on my calender (Sorry, I dig boots and spurs more than vampires), a Western called Unbound Captives. The directorial debut of Madeleine Stowe, it stars Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, and Pattinson. The young heartthrob revealed that it's tenatively scheduled to begin shooting in early 2010, and he sounds enthusiastic for a role that'll be miles away from Edward Cullen. "I'm playing a kid who is kidnapped by Comanches when he was four years old, and he is brought up by them. His mother spends her entire life trying to find me and my sister. When she finds us, we can't remember who she is and can't remember anything about the Western culture she grew up in. I speak Comanche the whole movie. You can't really speak more differently from Edward."

[Special thanks also goes to Collider who apparently pried the Breaking Dawn date out of Mr. Pattinson]

The upcoming The Danish Girl is one of those independent, edgy films that has all the right elements for something brilliant, but it's subject matter is so tricky that it could end up becoming a farce. Based on David Ebershoff's novel, The Danish Girl is the story of the world's first post-operative transsexual, Einar Wegener, and his wife, Greta. Tomas Alfredson is set to direct, Nicole Kidman has long been attached to play Einar, and Variety reports that Gwyneth Paltrow has stepped in to play Greta. She's stepping in for Charlize Theron, who originally held the role, but has dropped out for unspecified reasons.

The story takes place in 1920s Denmark. Greta* was a portrait painter, and needed a model. She asked Einar to step into a dress, stockings, and heels, and created some kind of awakening in Einar. In women's clothes, her husband became an outrageous character named Lili. The paintings of Lili became extremely popular, few realizing a man had stood in for them. Lili than took on a public life of her own, and Greta often introduced Lili as her sister. Eventually, Einar / Lili decided to commit to gender reassignment surgery, a dangerous and experimental procedure at the time. Greta stood beside her husband until his transformation was complete, and then their marriage was declared null and void by the King of Denmark.