Cinematical

Look, another comic series! Turning into a movie! Will wonders never cease? This one is The Doom Patrol, which Variety describes as being about "a band of superheroes with freakish powers." I'm assuming there's much more to Doom Patrol than that, but does it not pretty much sound like DC comics version of the X-Men? Hell, they've even got a leader in a wheelchair! Though the series was apparently well-respected, it failed to find an audience, and originally lasted only from 1963 to 1968. After that, however, its cult following led to several revivals, though the original characters weren't always included. As a result, the film's writer Adam Turner is probably going to have a great time pick and choosing characters from the various installments to feature in the film.

Unfortunately, there's no time-frame yet for this one, but rumors will surely come out of ComicCon. Meanwhile, Doom Patrol fans, is this exciting news or just a reason to get worried about a series you love? And what characters absolutely must be included in the film?

IFC will be releasing This Film Is Not Yet Rated on September 1. The film likely caused the MPAA more difficulty that even F*ck or The Aristocrats, not because of nudity or violence, but because the MPAA is its focus. In their film, creators Kirby Dick and Eddie Schmidt not only examine the endless hypocrisy of the rating organization (the directors believe that the MPAA exhibits "a disparity of NC 17 ratings for sex over violence, gay films over straight, and indie films over studio movies") and its possible collusion with big Hollywood, but also its bizarre need for secrecy (the identities of the raters are not known).

Needless to say, the members of the MPAA were very displeased when they screened the film for rating purposes, and saw not only scathing interviews with directors and actors, but also footage of many of them going to and from work. Not surprisingly, the board turned around and slapped with movie with an NC-17 rating; IFC -- which took a damn big risk by acquiring the film in the first place -- has decided to release it unrated. Oh, and they're also trying to change how the MPAA runs (good luck with that, guys). A part of the newly-launched This Film is Not Yet Rated website is a petition demanding an overhaul of the rating system, which is described as resulting in "arbitrary, inconsistent, and unreasonable decisions." While the odds of the petition having any effect are slightly worse than those of me winning the NL batting title, it's certainly worth checking out, particularly for the solutions it presents.

Despite the fact that the whole movie industry is widely seen as just another branch of the dreaded Liberal Media, it's hard to pretend that it hasn't been on a bit of a Fighting Biblical Evil! kick lately. From a little picture called The Passion of the Christ to The Exorcism of Emily Rose and the The Omen remake, evil and its fighters have been carving out a growing niche on multiplex screens. And, happily for all of us who love a good Biblical plague, The Reaping -- starring both Hilary Swank and a cute little girl who just might be closely associated with the Devil -- has arrived to continue that trend.

Based on the evidence available in the film's trailer, Swank has officially left her Oscar-winning past far behind, and is now involved with red rivers, plagues of locusts (among other things), and what just might be the worst exchange ever committed to celluloid ("Are you gonna kill ... my baby [girl]?" "No!" " ...Why not?"). According to the IMDb, her character is "a former Christian missionary who lost her faith after her family was tragically killed, and has since become a world-renowned expert in disproving religious phenomena." Don't worry, though: The events in the film make her faith come back, and she'll undoubtedly unite with the good people around her to end the plagues and restore God's grace to a little southern town. Take that, evil!

The Reaping comes out in the US in early November.

When it comes to film snobbery, I talk a good game. My two favorite films (Christ, look at that -- I even call movies "films") are both French and old, I review mostly indie and foreign fare and I work myself into a lather at the news of every new Hollywood remake. But if you happen into my apartment and see me sitting on the couch with the TV on, laughing like a hyena as a dead guy being pulled behind a boat has his head smashed repeatedly into channel markers, you'll have seen the real Martha Fischer. Yes, my long charade is over: I freaking love Weekend at Bernie's.

I don't even remember the first time I saw it, but I do remember that I talked about it so much that it was the first VHS tape my little brother ever bought -- he got it for me, for my birthday. I can honestly say that I've seen the movie upwards of 30 times, and that it still slays me, every damn time. Even the throwaway lines, like "Hot enough for ya, Richard?" and "This sucks. I am so unhappy!" fill me with joy -- albeit a special, incredibly stupid kind of joy.

Confession time: I really liked ATL. I thought it was sweet, well-made, and acted with surprising skill by a bunch of people who had very little screen experience. Apart from young Evan Ross (who, by dint of being the spawn of Miss Diana Ross, was surely made for the spotlight), the person who impressed me most was T.I., an Atlanta rapper whose real name is Tip Harris. He was incredibly natural in front of the camera and brought a real vulnerability to his character -- how often can you say that about one of the zillion rappers who is trying to move into acting?

So, it comes as no surprise that T.I. has scored another acting gig, this time in a project he and partner Jason Geter just pitched to New Line. The untitled film will star T.I. as one of the salesmen at an run-down Atlanta used car lot (Comedy? Drama? No idea.), and will be the first made by Grand Hustle, the previously music-oriented production company owned by T.I. and Geter.

Though the New York Film Festival doesn't open until the very end of September, the opening film is already in line, and it's a doozy. First of all, its title -- The Queen -- is just vague enough to be intriguing: The movie could be about anyone from, like, Isabel of Spain to Liberace. So there's some built-in suspense there. Second, it's directed by Stephen Frears, who has spent the last two decades making small, damn good pictures (My Beautiful Laundrette, Dangerous Liaisons, The Grifters, Dirty Pretty Things -- and yes, I'm pretending Mary Reilly never happened). Third, the film is set within England's royal family immediately after the death of Princess Diana, which could potentially be incredibly interesting. Finally and most importantly, it stars Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II. Actually, just that would sell me -- Mirren is a staggeringly talented actress who gets more interesting and more impressive as she gets older.

Anyway. The film will make its US debut at the festival on September 29, and will be released in the US by Miramax in October.

All hell broke loose at Disney yesterday, and when the dust cleared, 650 people -- including Nina Jacobsen, the company's well-regarded head of live-action production -- had been canned, and movie production had been cut by over 30%. Though the fallout from the changes (particularly the firing of Jacobsen) will no doubt resonate for weeks, the facts are these: Disney is turning its focus inward, towards the Disney brand in general, and "emphasiz[ing] blockbuster franchise films over more adult fare," as evidence by the reduction of "esoteric" arm Touchstone's output to only two or three films per year.

Though I'd argue with that characterization of Touchstone (in addition to Hidalgo, The Village and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, the label also produced Sweet Home Alabama and The Hot Chick), it's a small detail. The primary impetus behind all remains Disney's determination to concern itself with the broader potential of its successful branded franchises. For example, "A hit like Pirates of the Caribbean ... can spawn video games, action figures, cable TV shows and ... give new life to an old Disney theme park attraction." It's still far too early to judge the long-term impact of these changes, but it's hard not to see the decision to replace Jacobsen with Oren Aviv, a man whose last job with the company had him in charge of marketing, among other things, as a sign of things to come. And you thought that list of POTC products was a joke!

I don't know how this news slipped past us for so long, but there's a Rick James documentary in the works called, that's right, I'm Rick James. (Reading the article about it, I was stunned to see that James died in 2004. Where the hell have I been?) According to UrbanMecca.com, the movie is being made by HiddenDoor Documedia, and will feature tell-all interviews with celebs like Janice Dickinson, Busta Rhymes, Snoop Dogg and Dave Chappelle, who was once planning to star in a James biopic. Based on the bits and pieces that HiddenDoor are leaking, there's a lot of dirt in some of those interviews, and "some celebrities may be warned to prepare their alibis now." ("Oh crap. Where was I during the entire 1980s? What did I tell my wife?") Included in the fairly hilarious list of those who allegedly partied with James -- at Studio 54 and elsewhere -- during his heyday are Tatum O'Neal, Linda Blair, Prince, Mick Jagger, Eddie Murphy and, of all people, Elisabeth Shue, who must have been about 17 at the time.

While producer Perry Santos claims that the movie will be a portrait of an era, the reality of the situation is that the studio is doing its damnedest to sell it as a good, old-fashion sex, drugs and "funk'n'roll" (as James himself once put it) story. Which, honestly, is probably the best way to put butts in the seats -- if the movie ever gets distribution, that is.

The rumors that Stephen Chow would be putting off his planned sequel to international hit Kung Fu Hustle were finally confirmed yesterday, when it was announced that Chow's next project will be the sci-fi flick the internet has been muttering about for weeks. The film, which is currently called A Hope, will star Chow as a wayward astronaut who "accidentally lands on another planet." But it doesn't stop there -- get this: "Through the help of a robot who communicates with aliens, the astronaut develops a father-son relationship with a young alien." Whoa. The role of the alien has yet to be cast (and there's no truth to the rumor that Chow is looking for green-skinned youngsters whose eyes grow on stalks), but Zhang Yuqi will play an android, and Chow regulars Yuen Qiu, Danny Kwok-kwan Chan and Tin Kai-man are also confirmed.

So is Chow moving into tear-jerkingly sincere family films? My experience with him is limited to fantastic, utter insanity (of which God of Cookery is the best example); has he done anything like this -- or at least like this sounds -- before? It'll be interesting to see how this one shakes out, when we finally get to see it next year. Kung Fu Hustle 2, meanwhile, will be pushed back from its 2006 release date, reportedly to allow Chow time to work on the script.

In a move that will be shocking to about 14 people (most of them under the age of nine), New Line announced last night that they will not be screening Snakes on a Plane for critics. Can you believe it? A totally buzz-driven film that is going to make money even if it sucks, not be pre-screened. Stunning news, huh? The best thing about the announcement is that the studio is spinning their decision as a sign of their love for fans, rather than their hatred of critics and everything they stand for. To wit: "Understanding that [fans] would be the driving force behind the film, we decided early on they should be the first to see it."Aw. Isn't that sweet? It's nothing to do with the fact that they're afraid critics won't like the movie, and might have the balls to harsh the whole country's SOAP buzz right before the movie comes out.