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Oh man... That insane gamble otherwise known as Battleship shows no signs of stopping, even though many of you agree that it's somewhat ridiculous and most likely doomed. Whether we like it or not, the future is bringing us a board-game finagling that will see Navy types battling aliens on the open seas. It stars the utterly baffling mix of Taylor Kitsch, Rihanna, Alexander Skarsgard, Tom Arnold, Hamish Linklater, and Brooklyn Decker (a model).

At this point, it seems beyond our mental capacity to imagine how this will play out. But finally, we've got our first look at Rihanna on set, dressed in Navy duds and ready to kick some alien ass.

Michelle Rodriguez has literally fought her way to stardom, starting with Karyn Kusama's boxing drama Girlfight. Rodriguez came away with an Independent Spirit Award for Best Debut Performance and the start of a unique career as one of Hollywood's action heroines. In the past ten years, Rodriguez has driven with The Fast and the Furious, fought zombies in Resident Evil, rode the waves in Blue Crush, got Lost, and piloted one of James Cameron's futuristic ships in Avatar.

Rodriguez's latest role as Luz in Robert Rodriguez's Machete takes the action star to a whole new level of kicking ass. Deep in the heart of Texas, Luz runs a taco truck that feeds the local day laborers home-style food, comfort, and hope for a better future -- as well information about jobs, how to get papers, or even cash in a pinch. Luz's alter ego is Shé, a revolutionary, gun-totin' mama who runs an underground network that helps immigrants once they've crossed the border into the Texas. Luz ends up being a much-needed friend to Machete (Danny Trejo), a former Federales who escaped a Mexican drug lord by the skin of his teeth and keeps finding himself in increasingly messy situations on the Texan side of the border. He's got a machete, but Luz has got, well, a lot more than a taco truck on her side.

Rodriguez took some time out of her busy day to talk to Cinematical about self-stereotyping, playing with politics in Machete, and the outer space kind of aliens she'll be fighting in Battle: Los Angeles.

Having tried something professionally, succeeded in my ambitions and yet still somehow fallen short, I can empathize with Anton Corbijn. His new film, The American, feels like exactly the movie he wanted to make, and it also feels like the movie his investors and collaborators knew they were making. But it doesn't feel like the movie they thought they would get from doing exactly what they wanted, which is why audiences will probably feel like it's not the movie they want to see. Corbijn, who previously directed the elegant, tragic Ian Curtis biopic, has crafted an equally elegant film for his follow-up, but its only genuine tragedy is that it doesn't feel more, well, tragic, leaving The American relegated to the status of noble failure even as it delivers an otherwise pretty (and pretty familiar) thriller about an aging hitman.

George Clooney plays Jack, an assassin who departs for parts unknown after his Icelandic hideout is attacked by revenge-seeking Swedes. Arriving in the Italian countryside at the behest of his boss Pavel (Johan Leysen), he strikes up an unexpected friendship with a local priest (Paolo Bonacetti) before being recruited for a new job: build a weapon for another assassin named Mathilde (Thekla Reuten). He agrees to deliver the weapon, but soon realizes that even its considerable payday may not be enough to help him escape his shadowy past, especially after he meets a young prostitute named Clara (Violante Placido) whose companionship makes him begin to long for a more normal life.

What's that old Klingon proverb again? I believe it's "Revenge is a dish best served cold." The proverb is meant as an admonishment to revenge seekers to use intellect and rationality and not passion and emotion in seeking vengeance. It's also not a Klingon proverb (it dates back several hundred years). When it comes to cinematic vigilantes, revenge is usually best served with blood-drenched, bone-crunching fury. The subject of today's Cinematical Seven, vigilantes on/in film, has been written to coincide with the release of Michael Caine's turn as a retiree-turned-cold-blooded vigilante Harry Brown (out on DVD/Bu-Ray today for your viewing pleasure).

First, we'll start with one bright-line rule: masked avengers, costumed superheroes won't appear anywhere in this Cinematical Seven. So no Batman, no V (as in V for Vendetta), no Kick-Ass, or any other vigilante who wears a cape and cowl (or a mask and costume) will appear on this list. By refusing to hide their faces behind a mask, non-costumed vigilantes are closer to the real world and, consequently, farther away from the fantasy world of masked crime-fighters like Batman or his many imitators.

We also won't count the expansive cops-turned-vigilantes sub-genre that kicked off the 1970s with Don Siegel and Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry. Cops in this sub-genre willfully break the law, usually tossed away with a glancing, derogatory mention of "legal technicalities," supposedly in the service of a higher, natural law. They, of course, get to decide (moral) right and wrong and act accordingly to the detriment of evildoers in their path, but again, it's the righteous (self-righteous?) non-law enforcement vigilante who I find offers the most to think and write about.

[Insert the usual "Spoiler Alert" before the jump.]

With each new press release, Fantastic Fest - which is no longer just Austin's premiere genre film festival since it is now the largest of its kind in the entire US - keeps getting better and better. FF have already announced a host of drool-worthy action, horror, sci-fi and just plain oddball films from around the world as part of its programming slate (there are around 30 known titles thus far with even more to come), but the fest isn't just about screenings. No, in true Alamo Drafthouse fashion, it's also about the special events.

So far we've heard about: Fantastic Arcade, a spotlight on indie game developers that will be set up at The Highball, a bar next to the main theater owned and operated by Drafthouse founder Tim League; Nevermore... An Evening With Edgar Allen Poe, a special presentation of Jeffrey Combs' one-man stage play directed by Stuart Gordon; a party featuring the culinary delights of an entire cow cooked Argentinian-style over an open fire by the Drafthouse's executive chef; and Buried with Buried, an event wherein four brave souls will watch the Ryan-Reynolds-Buried-Alive flick while they are themselves are buried alive.

Now joining that already-awesome list of special events will be a ceremony honoring the legendary fight choreographer Yuen Woo-Ping (Drunken Master, Kill Bill, The Matrix, Fist of Legend, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Kung Fu Hustle-- the list goes on). Not only will FF be presenting the man who defined ass kicking for generations with a special Lifetime Achievement Award, but they'll also be world premiering his latest martial arts film, True Legend, as well as a screening of Snake in the Eagle's Shadow (AKA the film that put Jackie Chan on the map).

Hop below to check out the full details.

If you've been eagerly anticipating the name of the director who'll take the directing reins on the Clash of the Titans sequel, then here's your answer (via THR): Jonathan Liebesman. Liebesman is best known for directing The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning and Darkness Falls, both middling (if that) horror efforts, but it's Liebesman's latest directorial effort, Battle: Los Angeles, Leibesman's Black Hawk Down-style alien-invasion flick, set to hit theaters next March, that has impressed studio heads at Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures sufficiently to give Liebesman a shot at an action- and visual-effects heavy blockbuster/tentpole.

Money was apparently a sticking point in negotiations (it usually is), but now that Liebesman and Warner Bros./Legendary Pictures have agreed on a salary, pre-production on the sequel can begin. Given Clash of the Titans $500 million international box-office take, Warner Bros. was (and is) eager to move forward with the sequel. They've already commissioned a treatment for Clash of the Titans 2. Writers Greg Berlanti (Green Lantern), Dan Mazeau, and David Leslie Johnson (Red Riding Hood) contributed to the treatment. Mazeau and Johnson will write the screenplay for Liebesman to direct.

Though it was training Eric Roberts and acting in Runaway Train that gave ex-con Danny Trejo his big break into the Hollywood biz, the actor's fame is a family affair. His cousin happens to be Robert Rodriguez, who started casting Trejo in films very early in his career (Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn). But when Robert made the killer "Machete" trailer for Grindhouse, it led Trejo to a killer starring role in this week's full-length feature, Machete.

And as Trejo gears up for the action spotlight at the ripe age of 66, he's also gearing up to let his son lead him in a new indie film called Skinny Dip alongside Michelle Rodriguez.

You gotta love how much a movie can change before we even see it. Five years ago, there was an action project brewing in Hollywood called Blowback, created by Andrew Panay (Wedding Crashers) and Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air). Focusing on two cops, the film had already grabbed Dwayne Johnson, who was just beginning to put his wrasslin' days behind him, and act in films like Be Cool, Doom, and Southland Tales.

Half a decade later, Johnson has moved on, the project is once again picking up steam, but it's not being led by a beefy ex-wrestler. Now the names behind the action fest are none other than Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper.

By Scott Weinberg (reprint from 3/18/2010 -- SXSW Film Festival)

Imagine a flick like Braveheart, 300, Gladiator, or King Arthur, only those films have just been stripped of all those boring scenes about kings and princes, peasants and slaves, taxes and trades, and all that jazz. The result would be a movie that looks a lot like Neil Marshall's Centurion, a fast-paced, visually stunning, and action-heavy period piece that focuses on what matters most in a Saturday afternoon matinee: the good stuff. Boasting nary a subplot or an extraneous character to deal with, Centurion seems fully intent on delivering an old-school action adventure that tickles the eye without taxing the brain. And it succeeds on all counts.

It's the story of Centurion Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender), a trusted officer in the Roman army. Following a brutal attack by the barbaric Picts (ancient Scots are what they are, I do believe), Quintus finds himself stuck deep inside an enemy village -- but not for long. Quintus' escape is aided by the last few survivors of the legendary Ninth Legion, and together the small band of soldiers must make their way to a friendly border. Not only do they have a long way to go, but they also have on their tails a tenacious group of Pict trackers, which is led by the ferociously unwavering Etain (Olga Kurylenko).

Cannibals, crooks, vampires, aliens and geeks galore are all lined up to invade Austin for Fantastic Fest next month, and if you think that we harp on this particular film festival a bit, A) you're right and B) it totally deserves every effusive word.

We've got the whole list of newly announced titles after the jump, but right off the bat, I can tell you that we're looking at the U.S. premiere of crime drama Stone (starring Robert De Niro, Edward Norton and Milla Jovovich), the world premiere of 30 Days of Night: Dark Days, North American premieres of Hatchet 2 (which just received a warm reception at Frightfest over in the U.K.) and Ong-Bak 3 (just please have less dancing than 2), and a double bill of a restored print of 1960's The Housemaid and its recent remake.

All of this on top of Opening Night Film Let Me In and a slew of super-secret screenings in the mix? You bet your ass that we're gonna be there covering it from September 23-30.